For those of you who have kids that are over ten years old, you’ll probably relate to this little song. Up until the last year or so, my younger kids really thought I was cool; but now they’re pretty embarrassed by me. The other day, as my ten year old son and I were walking through a store, I heard an old song playing and mentioned it to him. Without even looking at me, he blurted out, “Dad don’t dance!” It came out sounding like it might be his deepest fear and it kind of made me laugh. I decided to embrace my new role by writing this little ditty for them. They would definitely do it as a rap song (for those whose kids or grandkids watch too much Disney Channel, think “Phineas and Ferb”).
Dad U know I love ya
I promise that it’s true
But there are certain things
A dad should never do
*
Like kissin’ Mom in public
Or touchin’ in any way
Pretend that she’s your sister
RU hearin’ what I say
*
Don’t ever honk the horn
When U pull up in the car
Cuz I’m liable to pretend
I don’t know who UR
*
Don’t write stuff on my clothes
When I’m headin’ off to camp
And no I don’t like spaceships
On my bedside lamp
*
There are so many things
U need to understand
If there’s any hope that
I’ll survive to be a man
Like the laws of nature
No way to get around
Like gravity and taxes
2 which we all R bound
See Dad’s should never sing
Or shimmy, shake or prance
Shouldn’t even move their hips
Cause “Dads Don’t Dance!”
(Background Singers echo – Dad’s don’t dance)
*
Please don’t call me “buddy”
Or “honey”, “pal” or “dude”
Don’t pull out those old pictures
Cause that would just be rude
*
Don’t try to tell a joke
When friends are in the car
And never let them see U
playing air guitar
*
Don’t call out from the bleachers
No matter how I play
Don’t put my name on T-shirts
No matter what they say
*
Know you’re only tryin’ 2 help
And be there for your boy
But things that once were cool
Can sometimes just annoy
*
There are so many things
U need to understand
If there’s any hope that
I’ll survive to be a man
Like the laws of nature
No way to get around
Like gravity and taxes
2 which we all R bound
See Dad’s should never sing
Or shimmy, shake or prance
Shouldn’t even move their hips
Cause “Dads Don’t Dance!”
(Background Singers echo – Dad’s don’t dance)
(As the music fades, we hear a 10 year old voice talking)
No, no – Dads don’t dance
And since we’re already talking
Can we talk about fashion?
Really Dad, those shorts (groan)
And do we really need a mini-van
Oh and that hair
Come on Dad
And don’t even get me started about Mom…
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