Bjcorbin's Blog

This past Sunday I celebrated my twelfth Father’s Day, which for many may not seem like much; but as a man who at one time assumed that he’d never have any children, it has been a surprising and rewarding journey.  It is a day that always reminds me that God’s plan for my life is much bigger than I ever imagined and one that causes me to reflect on the tremendous blessings He has bestowed upon my life.  This Sunday, as I was worshipping the Lord, I began to recognize just how significantly He has used revelations about fatherhood along the way.

Undoubtedly my first understanding of God was as a father.  In my formative days I tended to view Jesus as somewhat of a historical figure, while the Holy Spirit was simply a mystery to me; but I knew what a father was and I had some idea of what that relationship should look like.  I was blessed to have had a father who loved my mother, who provided for our family, who expressed his love for me and who never left us, nor forsook us.  I didn’t realize at the time what a rare and precious thing that was.  It made the concept of God much easier to grasp and put my heart in a position to receive even greater revelation about who He really is.  As a kid who struggled with just about every aspect of growing up, I know that at times I baffled and frustrated my earthly father; yet somehow he never made me feel as though he was ashamed of me or that I couldn’t come to him.  That aspect of a father’s character became a critical factor for me when I decided that my life needed to change, after thirty plus years of living by my own standards for righteousness.

As God rebuilt my crumbled life, He blessed me with a new marriage, which included a five year old step-daughter.  I remember feeling humbled (and somewhat ill-equipped) to be included amongst the men that are known as “father”; but I was also aware that my new daughter already had a father, whom she loved very much.  I purposed in my heart that I wouldn’t do anything to get in the way of their relationship and the Lord began to show me that all fathers are a type of “step-father”.  This is because, before our children were in their mother’s womb, He knew them and before they were our children, they were His.  While He may have used our DNA as the thread to knit them together, they are ultimately made in His image and by His hand.  Even as God blessed us with three more children, I realized that while He had given me an honored position in their lives, they would never truly be mine; and that my role was to point the way back to Him.  Years later, the Lord reminded me of this when my earthy father passed away.  He said very plainly to me, “I am your Father; I have always been your Father.”

Because of these revelations, I’ve taken fatherhood very seriously and I’ve often fallen into condemnation at my failures.  In those times, “The Comforter” and “The Counselor” has come and ministered to my heart.  I remember Him giving me a vision of one of my little boys and asking me “what do you expect of him?”  As I stared at the image of my five year old son, all I could think of was – “nothing, he’s just a little boy.”  To which the Lord replied, “That’s all you are to me.”  He showed me that He wasn’t asking me to do the impossible or calling me to accomplish something He didn’t equip me for.  Another time He said, “What kind of God would I be if I hinged your children’s destiny on your perfection?”  While these revelations didn’t relieve me of the responsibility to be the best father that I can be, they helped me to understand that God didn’t put these children in my hands because He never intended for them to leave His.  

As we’ve ministered to adults who never knew their father or who had a father that crushed their heart, we’ve found many who believe that they can never be whole because of it.  But the revelation that I got when my father died was that the greatest thing an earthly father can accomplish is to help his children find their Heavenly Father.  Once that eternal relationship is established, the role of an earthly father becomes largely symbolic (i.e. when that which is perfect comes, that which is imperfect passes away).  As a father, there is nothing more gratifying than seeing my children go directly to God and hearing from Him themselves.  I can’t help them like He can, I can’t always be with them, I can’t go before them and I can’t really show them who they were made to be.  Regardless of what kind of father we’ve had on earth, only our Heavenly Father has the ability to make us whole and no amount of failure on the part of a human father has the ability to take that from us.

As I labored to hear the voice of my heavenly Father, I often became anxious that I might miss what He was trying to tell me; but once again the Lord gave me a vision of my little boy.  Within the vision I’d told him to go clean up his room, but I somehow realized that I had given that direction in French.  As my little boy blinked at me in confusion, the Lord said, “Whose fault is it that he’s not cleaning his room?”  To which I responded, “It’s my fault because I spoke to him in French.”  To which the Lord said, “That’s right, it is the father’s responsibility to speak in a way that his children can understand.”  I understood that this was God’s way of telling me to stop worrying about whether I could hear His voice and to trust that He knew how to get through to me.  As I’ve let go of that fear, I’ve noticed that His voice has become much clearer to me.

When our children were very young, I could see how important it was for them to receive validation from me and I realized that I felt the same way about my heavenly Father.  I remembered thinking of how God had called David “A man after my own heart” and I wanted for Him to be able to say the same of me.  As I read about David’s life, I came to the story of him dancing before the Lord in the linen garment, which has been likened (rightly or wrongly) to dancing in his underwear.  As I read the part where his wife (Saul’s daughter) chastens him for this act, which she viewed as unfitting for a king, the Lord began to speak to me.  He said, “This is what made David a man after my own heart; He understood that in my presence he wasn’t the king and that while this may not have been an appropriate way for a king to act in front of his subjects, it was a perfectly normal way for a child to act before his Father.”  These words reminded of when Jesus said that unless we come as little children, we will not receive the Kingdom.  Though we are “joint heirs with Christ”, and He calls us “friend” and He is closer than a brother; I have learned that if I hope to receive anything from Him, I must come as a little child.

To fully grasp the revelation of fatherhood, one must also have some understanding of what it means to be a son or daughter.  Often during times of worship I see an image of a young child crawling into their father’s lap and laying their head upon his chest.  I remember a time when my children would do this and what a wonderful feeling it was as they would relax and essentially melt into my arms.  When I see that picture I feel as though it is an invitation for me to do the same with my heavenly Father.  To enter into that kind of rest I have to lay down the burdens that I bear as a grown man (e.g. father, husband, bread winner, employee…) and become as a little child again.  In those moments I hear the loving voice of my Father say, “Come up here; lay down those burdens and I will give you rest; come recline beside the still waters so that I might restore your soul; come up here, come.”  Those moments are the profoundest sense of His presence that I have ever known and they give me a sense of what heaven will be like.  Even if you never experienced such a thing with your earthly father, know that your heavenly Father yearns to have that experience with you.  Hear Him calling today, “This is the day I have made and I want you to find the joy in it; and behold I have brought fresh mercies for you today, because I knew that you would need them; and I’ve come with a new song for your heart.  Come child and rest your head on my chest, so that you might hear my heart beat for you; come dine with me, that I might feed you with spiritual food; come, because I yearn to teach you all things.”  I pray that all of His children would hear Him calling and that everyday would become “The Father’s” day.