It’s probable that most of us have encountered a “bully” at one time or another in our childhood. Certainly, it’s an inherent part of the human psyche and elemental within the balance of nature, that the strong endeavor to dominant the weak. And though the issue of bullying has always been with us, educators are warning that amongst this current generation of young people, it is taking on new and epic proportions. As the father of four school aged children, I can absolutely attest to the pervasiveness of this problem. Despite the fact that school systems are spending a significant amount of time and energy addressing the topic; it’s unclear whether these efforts are bearing much fruit. In light of this, it would seem worthwhile to examine some of the factors driving this trend.
In the last half of the twentieth century and the first decade of this new millennium, we have witnessed a sweeping philosophical change across America; as the “God and Country” thinking of the war years has given way to the individualistic, “Post-Modern” philosophy of today. Despite the profound nature of this change, many seem incredibly unaware of its implications. Perhaps the most dramatic element within this shift has been the way in which “truth” is defined. Whereas truth was once viewed as being absolute (i.e. defined and unchanging), the Post Modern thinker sees truth as relative (i.e. pliable, changing and subject to personal experience). Indeed, surveys suggest that as many as three quarters of the adults in America now adhere to this concept and our young people are growing up in a culture that endeavors to weave this ideology into every facet of their upbringing. For them, the concept of good and evil has largely become an abstract; not defined by some external moral code, but driven by some internal impulse which decides whether it “feels right” to them. Their heroes are rarely a part of the established authoritarian structure (e.g. Avatar, The X-Men, The Dark Knight, Jack Sparrow, Iron-man, Indiana Jones, Spiderman…) and tend to be defined more by their penchant for winning battles than by their particular motivation for the fight. Within the parameters of this philosophy, any entity which attempts to define and/or enforce a boundary/limitation is generally viewed as intolerant and oppressive, which can make things especially difficult on parents, teachers, coaches, supervisors…
In this new era of American history, the needs of the few have come to outweigh the needs of the many, as the secular humanist doctrine exalts the individual above all else. And as we embrace this ideology fully, our kid’s concept of reality is being shaped by it. In absence of some definitive moral standard, “good” becomes whatever seems favorable to me at a particular time; in the absence of absolute truth, “right” is whatever I define it as in that moment; and as my individual needs become the focal point, the desired ends justify the means necessary to obtain them. Our children are bombarded with images of shameless manipulation and intrigue from the entertainment (e.g. shows like Survivor, The Apprentice, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette) and sports (e.g. athletes who are above the law, who refuse to fulfill their contractual obligations, who destroy their families with their infidelities…) worlds; which often promote these things as part of the pathway to success. There are even kids who’ve been taught firsthand by parents and coaches that intimidation and trash talking are essential tools for anyone who hopes to be a “winner”. Given all of these external factors and our natural inclination to dominate, is it any wonder that bullying has become rampant.
Maybe even more troubling than recognizing the problem is finding a solution. After all, we can tell our kids that it’s wrong to bully, but our philosophy has already undermined the concept of right and wrong. We can tell them that they’ll reap what they sow or that they should live by the “Golden Rule”, but those ideas come from an ancient book known as the Bible, which we are systematically eradicating from the fabric of our society. We can tell them that “cheaters never prosper”, but all they have to do is turn on the television to see that they often do (at least for awhile). Ultimately, when every man is allowed to adhere to his own version of the truth, there is no law that couldn’t be struck down based on the fact that it inhibits his right to choose; which would eventually result in a state of lawlessness and chaos. That would seem to be the natural outcome of a philosophy that abandons absolutes and if so, maybe what educators are experiencing in our schools today is simply a preview of things to come for our society as a whole.
Unfortunately, this is an ageless problem that is not going to go away. It came close to home for me, since as I young child, I was frequently “bully fodder.” You identified some interesting reasons why post-modern culture may be further fueling its development, which accenuates the need for proactive solutions.
I believe that one of the most important counters to the bullying issue is for parents to train and equip their children as to how to face such intimidation. When young people know how to appropriately set and enforce personal boundaries–spiritually, emotionally, physically, sexually, etc.–they become “hard targets,” of which bullies want no part. Bullies are cowards at heart, and they prey on those whom them perceive to be weak and defenseless. Sadly, though, a great many adults are poorly equipped to be assertive themselves, much less pass along such a skill set to their offspring.
Jesus didn’t call us to be doormats, and boldness in and for striving against evil is part of our available heritage as His kids. Whether the schools, communities, or the church world at large recognize it or not, there is a place for self-defense. I think that this will only become more apparent as we head even deeper into perilous times, which we already face.
Daryl Wood