Bjcorbin's Blog

1.      It becomes easier to say “I don’t know”:  I think that children often assume that adults have all the answers; so as young adults, they feel as though they should have an answer for every question.  As we get older, it becomes painfully obvious that we don’t have all the answers and easier to admit that “I just don’t know”.

2.      What we look for in a mate seems to change:  As a young man, I seemed to lack a lot of the qualities (e.g. bodybuilder physique, cutting edge style, movie star good looks, a fat paycheck) that girls seemed to be looking for; but when I suddenly became single in my thirties, I found that what women (my age) seemed to be looking for had changed dramatically.  At that point, being clean cut, friendly, respectful and dependable seemed to trump those other features (which I still lacked).

3.      Peace becomes of greater value than excitement:  I think that younger folks believe that older folks just lose their sense of excitement; but I’d submit that we simply come to recognize how much more precious and rare true peace is.  I’ve found that life can often become a lot more exciting than I’d like and in those times its clear that excitement is generally overrated.  Eventually most of us come to see that a quiet walk on the beach, with someone we genuinely care about, is a lot better than a house full of beer swilling friends and loud music.

4.      We become more excited at the thought of our kids (or grandkids) having success than by visions of our own success:  This may not be true for people who never have kids, but for those of us who do, it’s almost an absolute truth.  As a dad who’s watched many a ballgame, dance recital, play, school program… I can testify that watching my kids shine is far more exhilarating than anything that I could accomplish at this point in my life.

5.      It gets harder to use words like “always” and “never”:  They say that life is a great teacher and one of the things that life tends to teach is to expect the unexpected.  As such, it get’s harder to come up with examples of things that are “always” this or “never” that.  While children seem to use these kinds of words frequently (e.g. he never has chores, I always have homework…), experience makes it harder to find a context for them.

6.      Character tends to become more important than personality:  I’ve noticed that younger people are often more engrossed in an individual’s personality than in what kind of person they might be; while older folks seem to reverse that pattern.  I believe this is probably bore out of experiences like being deceived, disappointed and/or damaged by people who initially seemed highly attractive.

7.      It becomes easier to be patient:  Please note that I didn’t say it becomes “easy” to be patient, just “easier”.  Learning patience is a long and painful process, but a reality of life is that it often makes us wait and after awhile, we know to expect some of that.  Though the process doesn’t get any more pleasant, it does become easier to predict.

8.      We realize that it’s easier to look 10 years younger than it is to feel 10 years younger:  This is probably a no-brainer, but a fresh coat of paint doesn’t make the barn stand any straighter.  While we can have things nipped, tucked, banded, suctioned, airbrushed… it doesn’t do anything to actually preserve our youth.  Things like exercise and eating right are disciplines that have to be practiced regularly to have an effect; and ultimately, our overall well-being extends beyond the physical, to the emotional and spiritual aspects of our life as well. 

9.      Our concept of love tends to change:  I think that young love tends to flow closer to the surface, where the waves make for an exhilarating and sometimes treacherous ride.  While old love tends to move in the depths, where the winds of a passing storm are barely felt.  Though some might see that as less exciting, many of us see it as being more substantial and meaningful.

10.  It gets harder not to wonder about the meaning of this life and whether there is anything beyond it:  As we get older, we inevitably face the passing of acquaintances, friends and family; and as we ponder the meaning of their lives (and/or deaths), it’s hard not to do the same for our own.  In those times, the permanence of death naturally causes us to wonder about, and maybe even hope for, something beyond this life.