What other people believe about you isn’t as important as what you believe about yourself. Only those things which we accept as being truth have the ability to genuinely impact how we live. Therefore the only words (positive or negative) that have the power to move us are those which we view as being true. If a man concludes in his heart that he is a failure, no amount of praise or encouragement can bring him to victory; and if a man concludes that he is an over-comer, no amount of criticism can hold him back. While we are generally powerless to keep others from speaking about us, we possess the ultimate responsibility for what we choose to accept as truth.
While to a great degree I agree with you Bryan, my opinion is that the room for change has been excluded. Regarding your premise that when a person concludes that he/she is a failure then no amount of praise or encouragement can bring him to victory, I disagree. It is the continual praise and encouragement of a righteous person that will be the turning point for that person. Through the tenacity of someone caring and loving that person, as well as praying for them, that the individual will eventually begin to make steps towards change; hence our jobs as Christians to a lost and dying world would be obliterated. In these cases it takes a while. While on the other hand, the constant barrage of criticism will in fact affect someone enough for a change to be evidenced. Keeping one’s face like flint in the face of criticism eventually falters. It is the people that surround a person who are the “armor-bearers” that help contribute to a victory. It is the steadfastness of renewing one’s mind to reflect the mind of Christ that constitutes a victory. Last but certainly not least, it is the relationship a person has with Jesus, as his Lord and Savior, that constitutes a total victory; without which the victory is unsustainable and short-lived. The most powerful thing on earth is words. They can destroy as well as build up. One bad apple, or destroying word, WILL inevitably destroy the “whole bunch” or person; just as all good apples, or positive words, WILL do no harm to the other “apples” or person. People DO have an effect upon us; we are therefore warned to not be unequally yoked. This is talking about ALL of our relationships. Whenever someone does not BELIEVE what we believe, that relationship must be handled very carefully. We are admonished to guard our heart, for out of it flows the river of life. We are NOT admonished to stay away from people, just the opposite, we are told to go into the world, just not be of it. We therefore have a daily need of “foot-washing” to bring us into the alignment the Word requires of us to stay healthy and in “good apple” condition, thus eliminating our fall from victory. Fellow believers are a such a God-send in times of refreshing and renewal back to the Word. No one person stands alone in defeat or victory. Each person got there with a lot of help from people either positive or negative.
I don’t think that we disagree at all. I’m not saying that we ought not encourage each other, or that such positive speaking is of no value. I’m simply saying that until my mind is ready accept the fact that the conclusions I’ve drawn about myself may be false, I will likely remain largely immune to the positive effects of that encouragement. While I believe that we can help others to look at things in a new light, I also believe that ultimately the changing of our minds is a sovereign act of our will. In fact, the word the scripture uses for that change of mind is “repentence”. The point of this thought was not to discourage people from reaching out to each other, but instead to examine the conclusions they’ve drawn about themselves. It seems to me that people generally spend a lot of energy on what others think and say about them, while their own judgements of themselves may be the more significant issue. In a spiritual sense, this really comes into play with the voice of our adversary. His accusations and condemnations are simply noise to the heart that doesn’t accept them as truth, but are utterly compelling to the heart that does. Anyway, God bless you Sheryl – I appreciate who God made you to be.