The book of Proverbs tells us that a kind word turns away wrath; and thus it would seem to follow that an unkind word is bound to invite it. Though this may seem obvious, it is wisdom that we have apparently forsaken in our culture. Yesterday, as I sat in the bleachers of my daughter’s sixth grade basketball game, listening to parents heckling the referee’s, I couldn’t help but cringe in anticipation of the explosion that was sure to come. A few minutes later, when the referee stopped the game and ejected the mom of one of the players, the inevitable storm of accusations and condemnations quickly ensued. Regardless of the particulars of that ridiculous exchange, the mere exercise itself managed to eclipse the whole reason we had come to the gym in the first place. Players on both sides stood staring at the crowd, bewildered and embarrassed. Minutes later, the game was stopped again; this time because the level of player hostility on the court seemed to be escalating to a dangerous level. Certainly, it shouldn’t be surprising that eleven and twelve year old girls would follow the lead of their parents and it made for a tense and miserable closing period to what had otherwise been a hard fought game of basketball. On the losing side, one young player valiantly attempted to lift her team’s morale by making a positive comment in the huddle, only to be shouted down by her teammates. This, of course, managed to leave the team even more miserable and fractured than simply losing the game would have; and I couldn’t help but shake my head at the whole pitiful mess. There was a lot that the girls could have learned from the game; much of it, things that their coach has been trying to teach them in practice; but I’ve no doubt that the car ride home with their parents convinced them that the only reason they lost that game was because of the “bad referee’s”.
Though some might view this as an isolated incident, I see it more as representative of where we’ve arrived as a culture. As we’ve transitioned from the idea that we are “One Nation Under God” to the concept that every man is their own island, we’ve lost perspective on anything that stretches beyond our own perceptions. Collectively, we have become so enamored of our individual points of view, opinions, ideas… that most of us have websites, blogs or Facebook pages, so as to broadcast our invaluable perspectives into cyberspace. As if that wasn’t enough, we now also have Twitter; so that minute by minute, we can keep everyone abreast of our spontaneous reactions to and insights on, life itself. Sadly, these mediums rarely produce much that is truly uplifting and more often are used as a way to criticize, condemn and ridicule the things that we don’t understand or agree with. We often use them to post images that we shouldn’t be sharing or to say things that we shouldn’t be saying. I myself shudder at the thought of having a Twitter account, as my initial and spontaneous reaction to things is often wrongheaded or at least misinformed. I’m thankful that many of the thoughts I’ve entertained were never recorded for posterity, much less transmitted to the people I care about. How foolish and self important would I be to think that people are sitting at home and wondering what my “status” is at any given moment. I’m not saying that there is “no value” in these things, but I am saying that their potential for destruction is more often realized than their potential for good. Worst of all, is that our kids have never known it to be any other way. They’ve grown up in a culture that has largely cast off restraint, with a steady diet of reality TV, where people routinely express every rude, crude and vulgar thought that pops into their head. They’ve been taught by coaches who tell them that “trash talking” is just a normal part of the game; and they’ve witnessed their parents blatant disrespect, and often ridicule, for any other adult (e.g. teacher, coach, referee, umpire, co-worker, neighbor, traffic cop, politician…) who has the audacity to disagree with their opinion. Unwittingly we have trained up a whole generation in this way and it is unlikely that they will ever depart from it. Is it any wonder that teachers are struggling to maintain control in the classroom or that bullying has reached new levels of viciousness or that fans are trying to beat each other to death in the parking lots of sports venues.
There have been many apocalyptic predictions about 2012 and I’m certainly not the kind of person who would attempt to confirm or deny any of them; but the words that the Bible uses to describe the people of the “end times” give me pause. It says, “There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God – having a form of godliness, but denying it’s power (2 Tim 3:1-5)”. As I turn on the television or listen to the radio or look at my computer or attend one of my kid’s ballgames, I can’t help but think that this is becoming a pretty fair description of our national character. Last night, as I consoled my tearful daughter and told her how proud I was of her for having a good attitude, playing hard and trying to lift up her teammates, I was sickened by the knowledge that next week’s game might not be any different. After all, unless we are willing to admit that we were wrong yesterday, there won’t be any incentive to do things differently next week. God help us.
You are so right Brian. I cringe just in our neighborhood at the trash talking children and little ones oh my. Kids no bigger than a minute would as soon tell you off as to look at you. Here You are trying to teach yours thats not the way we act. It is so unfair what the parents are doing to their children and they can’t even see it.
God help us indeed!! :- ( How awful for Bekah, how awful for you. Am I correct in assuming this was not an Upwards team??
Yes, we’re playing for the school system now. Some of the parents are wonderful, but it only takes a couple to destroy the whole atmosphere.