Bjcorbin's Blog

1. You get what you pay for. While this statement is most often used in the context of cheaply made goods, it is much less true on the other end of the spectrum. Too often the only difference between highly priced items and the rest is an extra coating of gloss, a trendy nameplate and/or a better advertising campaign. Frequently, we fall for the marketing ploy that spending more somehow makes it (and us) more valuable.
2. That any child is an “accident”. The Bible says that before we were in our mother’s womb, God knew us (Jeremiah 1:5) and that all of our days were written in His book, before one of them came to pass (Psalm 139:16). This tells me that every child is first conceived in the mind of God, before either parent donates their DNA. Just because a parent may not have anticipated their conception doesn’t mean that they weren’t “planned”.
3. That the idea of being “sexy” is harmless. Western society has raised sexuality to a ridiculous level of prominence within the collective consciousness; integrating its elements into just about every aspect of popular culture. Over the years, the term “sexy” has become trivialized to imply ideas like playful or flirty, but in truth it is simply an invitation to consider people in a sexual way. While viewing each other in that light causes all sorts of problems for mature adults, it is especially troubling when you consider how it impacts our children. If we intentionally present our kids in manner that is meant to be enticing (e.g. Jon Benet Ramsey), should we really be shocked when a predator chooses to act on that provocation?
4. That the idea of being “spoiled” is cute. Much like the term “sexy”, the connotation of the word “spoiled” seems to have changed in recent years. Once thought to be something to be avoided, it now seems to be a badge of honor for many (think Kardashian). It is commonplace to hear grandparents brag about “spoiling” their grandkids or to see little girls wear t-shirts boasting of their “spoiled” status. To be sure, this is a phenomenon that is lost on me. Spoiled is what happens to food that’s left out for too long. If you wouldn’t dream of eating something moldy from your refrigerator, why would you set out to “spoil” someone you cared about?
5. The concept of “Mr. or Mrs. Right”. While there are undeniably people who seem destined for each other, the myth of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right is that you can then have a relationship that doesn’t require any real effort. Regardless of how compatible two people may be, a healthy relationship always involves give and take. Just as in a garden, you must start with good seed, weeds occasionally have to be pulled, infestations need to be treated and sometimes things need to be watered by hand.
6. That older people forget what it’s like to be young. The upcoming generations tend to judge the previous generations as staid and set in their ways; often interpreting their maturation as some sort of an indictment on their zest for life. But experience consistently reveals the impetuousness and foolishness of youthful infatuations. With age, one comes to find value in different things and taking unwarranted risks no longer seems like a prudent approach. While some might regard this as an unfortunate side effect of aging, others might rightfully refer to it as wisdom.
7. That there is no such thing as a “moral victory”. In this era of win at all costs, it has become popular to claim that there is no such thing as a “moral victory”; but for many human beings, that is the only kind of victory that they will ever experience. Like teaching a baby to walk, moral victories constitute the first small steps toward consistent success. People who don’t believe in such things often burn themselves (& others) out, trying to run before they’ve developed the ability to stand.
8. That new love is somehow better than old love. We live in a society that seems affixed on the idea of trading in and up, on an almost constant basis (e.g. cellphones, computers, cars, houses…); and that basic philosophy carries into our relationships as well. Most of our cultural allusions toward love seem centered on initial attraction and the titillation of something new; but that is ultimately the shallow end of the relationship pool. It isn’t until you’ve experienced a love that lasts for years that you come to understand the depth and profound fulfillment that accompanies it. This same aesthetic applies to friendships as well (i.e. I wouldn’t trade a few old friends for 500 “friends” on Facebook).
9. The idea that fair and equal is the same thing. As the father of four, I am very aware of the unique qualities of each of my children. In raising them, I’ve not found any one thing that works well with all of them. Each one thinks differently, learns differently and responds to different stimulus. As such, I try to tailor my approach to the specific individual I’m dealing with and I strive to be fair with all of them. Unfortunately, they often perceive that they’ve been treated unfairly because I haven’t dealt with them in the exact same manner as one of their siblings. I suspect that God has the same issue with His kids.
10. “Christian” Leaders who don’t resemble Jesus. The scripture tells us that true disciples have been “predestined” to be conformed to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29) and that the intensity of this transformation should be “ever-increasing” (2 Cor. 3:18). While all of us fall short of the glory of God, it remains baffling to me that someone can claim to have walked with/represented Jesus for twenty, or thirty, or forty years and yet barely evoke His character. Generally, such ministers are revered more for their giftedness, personality and resume. Ultimately, there is a world of difference between “following” Jesus and doing things in His name.