Bjcorbin's Blog

This piece was written several years ago, as my twelve year old step-daughter decided to leave our home to live with her father.  As hard as it was to let her go, it was even harder when we realized that she didn’t even want to come back to visit us.  That was a painful season, but slowly things have turned.  Today, our girl has come back to us, and a lot of healing has gone on.  I decided to share this piece for those who may be living through this kind of a season now.  I encourage you not to lose hope. 

It’s late at night and you are finally asleep

This seems like the only time we can really be together

If your eyes were open, you’d quickly close the door

But for now, you are unaware of my nearness

I want so much to hold you, but I know it would be a trespass

 

As the moonlight hits your face, you still look like an angel

Just like the first time I saw you

At once that seems long ago and like it were yesterday

It started out with such promise, it began with such joy

You touched a place inside me that I didn’t know was there

My heart just fell right open at the sight of you

It still does

 

I remember when your heart would reach for me

But now there is a wall

I remember when my love was your goal

But now you seem embarrassed by me

What is it that I have done, or is it something I failed to do

It never occurred to me to guard my heart from you

I still can’t

 

I can see that you are struggling

I ache when I see you hurt

There’s still so much I want to share with you

But I’m the last one that you’ll hear

You seem to be searching everywhere for acceptance

Everywhere but here

 

I tried to hold on tight

But you’ve pried away my hands

So I stand here in the dark, holding you in my heart

Oh God in heaven help me, I’m crushed and so afraid

I see that she is drowning

But she won’t take hold of my hand

 

As I cry out in the night, the truth washes over me

I am closer to His heart than I’ve ever been

For every one of His children has gone astray

O Lord, is this how I make you feel?

God forgive me and hold me close to You