Bjcorbin's Blog

It’s hard to believe that my two youngest (i.e. twins) will start high school in the Fall. Without a doubt they’re growing up fast, and as a parent I spend a lot of time praying about the decisions they will face. Of course, part of my job is to teach them how to make good decisions. To that end, I had an interesting conversation with my youngest son last night. He’s facing a tough decision about what to do when the next school year starts. He’s been playing both football, and in the band, for the last few years; but will now have to pick just one of those for his high school years. As we spoke, he expressed his fear of the regret that would come with making the “wrong decision”; and he seemed surprised when I assured him that he would regret it, regardless of which way he went. I guess that may seem a little harsh to some, but as I explained to him, that is the nature of making a decision. I told him that if he picks football, he will be bummed every time he sees the drum-line march by without him. And that if he picks the band, it will hurt to watch the team run onto the field without him. The reality of the situation is that he is going to have to give up something that he loves, and that is never pleasant.

I could see that this made him feel as though he was in a “no-win” situation, but I assured him that the opportunity to do both of these things, during the years leading up to high school, has been a great gift; and that the opportunity to continue with one of them was an even greater gift. I told him that whatever he decided he needed to do it with his whole heart, and to stubbornly refuse to entertain the thought of “what if I’d gone the other way”. By example, I said that a married couple, who walks around thinking about what it would be like if they’d married someone else, is destined for either a lifetime of unhappiness, or a divorce.

I’m not sure that any of this made his decision easier, or made him feel the slightest bit better, but hopefully it prepares him for the repercussions he will experience next Fall. It strikes me that our human nature always wants to have it both ways, but that life rarely allows for that. I know far too many adults who get paralyzed at this same point of decision. In the end, making a decision generally becomes the only way to keep moving forward.