Bjcorbin's Blog

In the first book of Kings, chapter 3 (verses 16-27), there is a story about two women, who lived in the same house, and who both had babies of similar age.  One night, one of the women inadvertently rolls over on her baby, killing it; and so she sneaks into the other woman’s room and exchanges her dead baby for the other woman’s live baby.  When this second woman wakes up in the morning, she sees the dead baby in her bed, but quickly realizes that it’s not her child.  Both women eventually wind up before King Solomon, claiming that the living baby is theirs.  Upon hearing their story, the King proposes the simple solution of cutting the baby in two, and giving each woman half.  At hearing this, one of the women concedes the fight, while the other says, “Neither I nor you shall have him.  Cut him in two!”

From their reaction, King Solomon deduces that the woman who wasn’t willing to allow the child to be destroyed was the real mother, but my concern is with this other woman.  It’s hard for me to fathom what allowed her to justify that destroying the child was somehow a better solution than yielding her position.  Maybe she was jealous that the other woman still had her baby, or maybe she couldn’t accept that she was no longer a mother, or maybe she was afraid of what people might think of her, or maybe she was filled with regret over the way her baby perished, or maybe she was offended that God allowed this to happen…  And while this story may seem rather extreme, I see situations like this all the time.  People who claim to love their family, but who would rather cut it in two than to yield their position.  Parents who claim to love their children, but who are willing to rip them apart rather than yield their position.  People who claim to treasure relationships, but who would rather sever them than to yield their position.  People who claim to be a body of believers, but who would rather split apart than to yield their position.

I am not suggesting that there aren’t legitimate reasons for some relationships and/or situations to come apart.  But I am saying that we need to be careful that we don’t become like the woman in this story; so entrenched in our position (e.g. jealousy, insecurity, woundedness, regret, offense) that we are willing to facilitate the destruction of the very thing we claim to care for.