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Archive for the ‘Commentaries’ Category

Jesus did not publicly shame, threaten, or otherwise coerce people to come to repentance, which is why our efforts to do so “in Jesus name” only serve to drive them away from Him.  The good news of the gospel is not the judgement to come, it is that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us, and that this amazing grace is still available today.

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The Greeks had a god for everything, and temples were erected all over their cities to facilitate the worship of them.  As time goes by, America is becoming much the same.  Here is a list of a few of the most popular gods within our culture.

 

  • Self– Certainly self absorption is nothing new for mankind, but previous generations didn’t have the amazing technology that we have to assist them.  American’s are completely consumed with making sure everyone knows their status (Facebook, Instagram), hears their opinions (Twitter, the Blogosphere), see’s their images (selfies, YouTube, Snapchat) and is appraised of their likes and/or dislikes (all social media).  The cumulative effect is that it keeps most people focused on themselves, and on what everyone else is thinking & saying about them.

 

  • Technology– Americans pay billions of dollars a year to be a part of the newest technological craze.  Whether it be the latest i-Phone, or a hover-board, or a GoPro, or self-driving cars… we can’t stand the idea that there is something newer, and possibly more advanced, than what we have already.  Sadly, the emerging generation has so much faith in the power of technology that they’ve become largely disconnected from the lessons of the past.

 

  • Humanism– We’ve become a society that willingly disparages the character of God in order to substantiate the inherent virtue of mankind.  We shun the “Holy Spirit” and celebrate the “human spirit”.  Collectively, we’ve decided that if God has a problem with us, He must not be as loving as we’ve been told, and thus we have every right to ignore Him.

 

  • Convenience– Our culture is absolutely obsessed with making everything fast, easy, and achievable with the touch of a button.  We have an “app” for just about anything you can think of, and a huge amount of an average person’s life is channeled through their electronic devices.  But with every advance in this direction, we become less tolerant of things that require any sort of sustained effort on our part, or things that take time.  We also become more dependent on the technology for even the most basic of functions.  Given the fact that life is a long journey, which requires genuine determination, perseverance and patience, this trend doesn’t bode well for our future.

 

  • Sensuality– Without a doubt, sex is meant to be one of life’s great pleasures, but just as doubtless, there is a context within which it was meant to fit in our lives.  In the decades since the “Sexual Revolution” began, our culture has found ways to inject sex into all sorts of settings, circumstances, and contexts where it doesn’t belong.  This has not only resulted in confusion and dysfunction, for many it has reduced sex to little more than a bodily function.  That’s sad, because it was intended to be so much more.

 

  • Voyeurism– My kids have no idea what a “Peeping Tom” is, and I would submit that this is due to the fact that (figuratively speaking) peeking into people’s windows has become a national pastime.  While it may have started with a litany of “Reality TV” shows, there are now surveillance cameras everywhere, a host of scammers combing the web for personal information, and millions of would-be photographers/reporters carrying portable electronic devices, and looking for that next viral sensation.  Indeed, there is little within our present culture that could accurately be characterized as “private”.

 

  • Celebrity– The insatiable craving for notoriety within our culture continues to fill our screens (both large and small) with images of people willing to eat bugs, wife swap, gender swap, submit themselves to dangerous circumstances, fix bad tattoos, torment their kids, wrestle alligators/snapping turtles/wolverines, bully their wedding planner, search for Bigfoot…  And all of this has created a new breed of celebrity that includes people like the “Reality TV Star”, and the “You-Tube Star”.  Many of these folks are not known for a specific talent, or some meaningful contribution to society, they’re simply famous for being famous (e.g. the Kardashians); which somehow manages to take the superficiality of “fame and fortune” to a whole new level.

 

  • Autonomy– In our culture, we don’t generally admire people who follow the rules.  More typically, we revere those who make up their own.  Increasingly, people don’t feel as though they should have to abide by a rule that they think is stupid, or unwarranted, or that they simply disagree with.  This trait is commonly reflected in the people our society raises to the level of “hero”, and in the characters popular entertainment presents as “super-heroes”.  While a life with “no boundaries” may sound appealing, it is by definition a state of lawlessness.

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Last night, our daughter spent hours trying to convince one of her classmates not to end their life.  I wish I could say that this is a first, but all of our kids have been pulled into this sort of thing before.  It was late, and the situation was far from settled when I finally forced her off the phone.  This morning, she woke up troubled and exhausted.  As I sensed her emotional state, I was impressed to write it down.  Please pray for our young people, these are difficult times and their struggles are real.

 

Are You Still Here?

*

As my eyes reluctantly crack open, I can see that it’s still dark

And I wonder whether you’re still here

*

It was another night of tears and prayers

And words that seemed to fall to the ground

*

I tried everything I could think of

But eventually, I ran out of things to say

*

You seemed to have a counterpoint for every encouragement

And ultimately I could not carry you to a place you refused to go

*

When we hung up the phone, I cried out to God

But I knew that He wouldn’t force Himself on you

*

I know that you’re looking for someone who will take away the pain

But you’ve grown immune to the love that’s already around you

*

No one has the strength to pry the hurt from your clinched fists

No one else can provide you with the desire to go on

*

Hope can be an elusive thing

But it’s not because it’s complicated

*

You don’t necessarily need to believe that things will get better

But you have to be open to the possibility that they could

*

For whatever it’s worth, I really do love you

And it’s hard not to feel as though I’ve let you down

*

I keep searching for a remedy

But the shelves of the medicine chest look empty

*

So I lay here in the pre-dawn hours of the morning

And I wonder whether you’re still here

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Close loving relationships quite naturally gravitate toward sex, while casual sexual relationships rarely gravitate toward love.

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  1. Every child is their own story. What works with one doesn’t necessarily work with another.  Different things inspire them, motivate them, scare them, and hurt them.  Though there may be some broad tenets that apply to all, each one requires a unique approach.
  2. Perfection cannot be the goal. No matter how hard we try, we will not be perfect parents; and demanding perfection from our kids simply makes them feel as though nothing they do is ever good enough.
  3. Boundaries are meant to keep kids safe, not to keep them from the “good stuff”. Though, as children, we all tested our limits; as parents, we cannot ignore the benefit of hindsight.
  4. Fear is a lousy teacher.  Consistently playing on a child’s fear ultimately destroys their ability to function effectively.
  5. Our children’s perception of themselves is powerfully impacted by what we say to and about them.  Giving voice to our fears, frustrations and disappointments can scar them for life.
  6. Consistently yelling at kids makes them hard of hearing. For survival sake, they simply begin to tune us out.
  7. “Do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t work. We cannot hope to hold our kids to a standard that we ourselves do not adhere to.
  8. Though we naturally want to protect our children, it is also our job to prepare them for life without us. Finding the balance between those two things is a long and demanding process.
  9. No matter how doting, diligent and devoted we are as parents, our kids will face adversity, and they will make mistakes.  We cannot be shocked when it happens, and we need to prepare them for those moments.
  10. Love covers a multitude of sins (yours and theirs). When combined with faith, it forms the only wild card that we have in our parenting deck.

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The United States is a country that was arguably birthed in protest; as English settlers in the colonies challenged the King’s right to tax them without proper representation.  As such, the founding fathers ensured that our right to protest was guaranteed by the constitution, and throughout our history there have been many notable periods of protest; some of which have ultimately spurred on social change.  But I believe that there are limits to what a protest can achieve.  While it can provide a voice to a group who isn’t being heard, or shed light on a situation that people aren’t aware of, or change the tone of the dialogue around an issue; in and of itself, it doesn’t solve problems.  At best, it creates an impetus to address an issue.  But simply pointing out problems is a lot easier than fixing them, and at some point we need to transition from the simplicity of protesting to the complexity of problem solving.

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As I’ve listened to the uproar surrounding San Francisco 49ers quarterback, Collin Kaepernick’s decision to sit out the national anthem, in protest of the “country’s” treatment of people of color, I’ve found it hard to relate to much of the dialogue.  While I wholeheartedly agree that he is within his rights as an American to make such a stand, I’m utterly baffled by the notion that he’s “shedding light on an important topic”.  The issues of race relations, the use of force by police, the “Black Lives Matter” movement… were already at the forefront of our national consciousness.  His protest hasn’t shed light on some new aspect of this issue, and it certainly has no potential for bringing us closer to a resolution.  Truthfully, it has simply inflamed and re-polarized the factions involved.  Haven’t we already resolved the fact that gunning down cops in retaliation for illegal police shootings isn’t the answer.  If so, then how is the disrespect that Kaepernick feels the “country” shows toward black people going to be changed by disrespecting the symbol of our country’s freedom.  As my parents always said, two wrongs don’t make a right.  Some rationalize that at least he’s got people talking, but I would submit that instead of talking about the issue he purportedly cares so deeply about, they’re talking about him, and the appropriate bounds of protest.  If anything, it has detracted from the dialogue surrounding race relations.

*

Another problem with his stand lies in the target of his protest.  He says he’s protesting this “country’s” treatment of African Americans, but who is he really referring to.  When he says “country” is he talking about the government of this country, the police in this country, the white police in this country, the white people in this country, the white racist people in this country…  If the aim of a protest is to affect change, then who are we actually talking about, and what has to happen for the protest to result in some sort of worthwhile action?

*

I agree with Collin Kaepernick that black lives do matter, and that there is a very real problem that needs to be addressed.  I believe that there are a multitude of people who are genuinely trying to move from the protest phase to the problem solving phase; which is a longer and more difficult process.  From my perspective, re-stoking the flames of rhetoric only sets us back.  The time for antagonistic gestures is past, it’s time to work on viable alternatives.

*

As for Kaepernick, if he doesn’t start playing better, he may have to move to Canada or Europe to continue his football career.  Unfortunately, he’ll find that they have racism there too, but at least he won’t have to worry about them playing our national anthem.

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5 Things I’ve Stopped Saying

 

  1. “Shame on you!”:  Though shame is a natural human emotion, I don’t think that it is ever my place to pronounce it over someone.  For the spiritually minded, these words are a type of curse.
  2. “I am lucky”:  I’m not really a big supporter of the idea that the fickle winds of fate just spontaneously blow in my favor.  I actually sense that there is someone looking out for me, so I ascribe to the belief that, “I am blessed”.
  3. “There is no such thing as a moral victory”:  In an era of “win at all costs”, this notion has become generally accepted; but for many human beings, a moral victory is the only kind they will ever experience.  Like teaching a baby to walk, moral victories constitute the first small steps toward consistent success.  People who don’t believe in such things often burn themselves (& others) out, trying to run before they’ve developed the ability to stand.
  4. God is in control”:  Though I’m a big believer that there is an all-powerful God residing up in heaven, my understanding is that He’s not the one pulling the strings down here on a daily basis.  My reading of the Bible indicates that He gave the earth to mankind and that He only intervenes as we invite Him to.  Ultimately, this is what makes prayer such a necessary and powerful tool.
  5. “I can’t help it”:  Life has taught me that I probably can, if I really wanted to.

 

5 Things I Find Myself Saying Over & Over Again

 

  1. “No one can make you happy”:  People can support us, love us, inspire us, and even enhance the quality of our life.  But unless we determine within ourselves to find the joy, the beauty and the hope within our given circumstance, we will never be “happy”. The idea that it is someone else’s role to bring happiness into our life places tremendous pressure on our relationships, which often causes them to fail.
  2. “It is what it is”:  Age has shown me that life comes at us however it chooses to.  We may not like it, but it never seems to ask our opinion or permission.  We can deny it, complain about it, feel sorry for ourselves… but eventually we just have to deal with it.  It is what it is.
  3. “It’s in God’s hands”:  This seems like a contradiction of my “God is in Control” thought, but it really isn’t.  The longer I live, the more I recognize that things are out of my hands, so I quickly put them in God’s hands.  Then I struggle mightily to stand in faith and leave them there.
  4. “Let it go”:  Holding on to something poisonous makes you sick, and things like envy, greed, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, bigotry, frustration, depression… are ultimately toxic to our soul.  Everybody sing it with me; Let it go, Let it go…
  5. “You’re in my thoughts and prayers”:  I suppose that as Christianity has fallen out of favor within our culture it is no longer politically correct to mention prayer; as you now simply hear, “you’re in my thoughts”.  And while it is nice to know that people are thinking about you, I’m not sure that it does much else.  I’m still an advocate for calling on some heavenly intervention, and letting you know that I’m battling for you.

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We should not expect a “good day” to run through the obstacle course of our circumstance and find us.  Indeed, it is incumbent upon us to press through the crowd of impediments and apprehend it.  Every day comes with an armload of reasons to be sad, mad, hurt, disappointed, frustrated, or afraid.  And if we choose to make any one of those the centerpiece of our consciousness, there is no “good day” with the power to wrestle it from us. (Deuteronomy 30:15)

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The fruit of the “Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil” (Genesis 2:17) is presumption.  Partaking of it allows us to believe that we can rightfully discern for ourselves what is right and wrong; what is just and unjust; and ultimately, what is in our best interests.  It’s pulp nourishes the notion that we are self-made and dependent on no one.

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Insecurity will often cause a person to try to gain by manipulation what others would willingly give to them (e.g. attention, affection, respect).  Self-doubt convinces them that illegitimate means are the only way to obtain what is legitimately available to them.  Ultimately, these attempts to coerce are often what drive people away, which only serves to reinforce their feelings of insecurity.

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