I was the youngest of three brothers*; two years younger than the oldest one, and a year younger than the other. Because we were so close in age, I was always trying to prove that I was their equal. That desire deepened in me when I wound up in the same grade as my middle brother, and was compared to him on an almost daily basis. Despite my best efforts, I never could quite measure up to either of my brothers.
In hindsight I can see that it wasn’t really a fair comparison, as a year (or two) makes a very significant difference in the development of a child, but at that time in my life I didn’t understand. Combined with the fact that I was slightly built, with poor eyesight, and very emotional, I grew up with a deep sense of inadequacy. These feelings were magnified during adolescence, when I found that girls never seemed as interested in me and as I was in them.
In those years I struggled to find a place where I felt significant, or where I sensed that I fit in. During high school I was working at a downtown restaurant, where for the first time I encountered openly gay men. For many of these men, a skinny teenaged boy was a thing to be coveted, and they had no trouble expressing their desire for me. While I was not physically attracted to men, I had to admit that it felt good to be seen as desirable and special; and those feelings began to open a door way in my mind. I began to wonder if the reason I didn’t really fit in and that women didn’t seem very interested in me was because there was something deficient in my manhood, which could somehow make me gay by default.
While it may sound a little strange for a boy who was wildly attracted to girls and not attracted to men to wrestle with the idea that he might be gay, I had adopted the world’s philosophy that some people are just made that way and it made me wonder about myself. The issue wasn’t really about sexuality as much as it was about identity; because I was insecure in my identity as a person, I started to become insecure in my identity as a man.
Fortunately for me, one of the most significant elements in forming the identity of a child is its relationship with its parents, and the relationship of its parents with each other. In this regard, I had been blessed with two parents who loved me, believed in me and modeled for me the God given roles of a man and a woman. Even though I was not conscious of it, these things were strongly encoded in my being, and eventually this sense of my identity as a man was strong enough to keep me from being drawn into the gay community.
Though that experience cleared up any potential for confusion about my sexuality, it didn’t necessarily solidify my identity as a man. I continued to struggle in finding much common ground with the cultural images of manhood (e.g. Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Rambo…) and as such I drew the conclusion that I must not be much of a man.
Over the years I found ways to compensate for, or to conceal, those traits which weren’t seen as being particularly manly (e.g. being expressive, showing emotion, loving children…) and eventually I came to what I thought was peace about it. Years later, when I came into a meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ and began to read the scripture, my whole concept of manhood was revolutionized.
In the light of God’s Word I could see that the culture had adopted, and even promoted, a faulty image of manhood; and that only “The Creator” could reveal to me my true identity. When I read about Gideon, I heard him essentially say that he was the least of the least, and the facts surrounding his life seemed to support that claim; but God’s assessment was that he was mighty, and once Gideon got that revelation, his life went on to validate that view.
It struck me that God knew who He made Gideon to be, and that nothing from his past had the power to change that. I understood that if this was true of Gideon, it was true of me too. It didn’t matter what my history had been; only God’s assessment of me was valid.
When I read that God said that David was a man after His own heart, I decided that he must be an example of what God was looking for in a man. And while David possessed many of the traits that are typically associated with men (e.g. strong, bold, fearless…), he also manifested others that aren’t (e.g. expressive, emotional, vulnerable…). Through this I began to understand that God’s concept of a real man was quite different than that of our culture.
As I read the Gospels I realized that Jesus Himself was God’s model for manhood and in the Epistles I learned that He’d predestined me to be transformed into that image. With this understanding I stopped trying to live up to some false idea of what a man should be and began to pursue becoming the person God made me to be.
Not long into that journey I discovered that many in the church are more in tune with the cultural image of what it means to be a man (or woman), than what is portrayed in scripture. As I heard teaching on the subject of men, women, children, marriage…much of it seemed more rooted in Psychology than in the Word of God.
I remember as a young father, I volunteered to be in the Nursery to watch the kids, and that there were actually parents who refused to leave their children with me because I was a man. If Jesus is our model, why should a man who is willing to serve, and who loves children be so unusual? I would suggest that it is because we’ve been more influenced by cultural images than by the image of Christ.
There are certain images of Christ that men seem to willingly embrace, like Christ preaching the Sermon on the Mount, or turning over tables in the temple, or dueling with the Pharisees; but are men willing to embrace the image of a lamb led to slaughter, or His open display of emotion at the tomb of Lazarus, or of Him washing the feet of the friends. Love, kindness, patience, and gentleness are all hallmarks of His character, but these things run counter to the generally accepted concept of being manly. Are we endeavoring to mold our little boys into the image of Christ, or are we more interested in molding them into the next Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, Bill Gates…
The people of God need to see “manhood” in a different light than the culture. The tenets of scripture stand in stark contrast to the principles of the world. The Apostle Paul said that “the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself as love”. David said that the kind of heart that God honors is broken and contrite; and Jesus said that unless we come as little children, we would not receive the Kingdom. If outward expressions of love, having a broken heart, or possessing childlike trust don’t sound very manly, I’d suggest that maybe it’s because we’ve studied the wrong model for manhood.
* I also have a sister who is eleven years younger than me. While she is the jewel of our family, she was not around in my formative years, and thus didn’t impact the sibling rivalry dynamic I developed with my brothers.
Bjcorbin's Blog 
A Theology of Giving
Posted in Commentaries, tagged giving, new covenant, offerings, old covenant, tithing on March 21, 2011| 4 Comments »
Foreword: Please notice that the title of this writing is “A Theology of Giving” as opposed to “The Theology of Giving”. My understanding of God and His purposes (i.e. theology) is dynamic and this is simply where I find myself today. I’m not foolish enough to believe that this is the final word on giving nor am I apt to criticize anyone who might arrive at a different conclusion. All I can say is that though I’ve never heard anyone teach what I’m about to present, this is where I feel the Lord has brought me to. If it doesn’t ring true to you, feel free to dismiss it (as we’d all undoubtedly be wise to do with much of the fodder that makes its way about the internet).
I was taught from a very young age that it is more blessed to give than to receive; and so the principle of giving is foundational in my being. Growing up in church, I always saw my parents give when the collection plate was passed, so I just assumed that this is what Christian people do. Though I didn’t get serious about the Lord until many years later, I’ve always tried to slip something in the basket at offering time. My first steps on the journey of giving were relatively small ones, as I learned to become a “cheerful giver”, that you “reap what you sow” and eventually the principle of the “First Fruits” (i.e. that if I gave God the first part of any harvest, He’d bless the rest). While all of these principles can be found in scripture, I’d suggest that simply using these elements to draw a conclusion will make for a woefully incomplete picture in regards to what the Bible has to say about giving.
Eventually, I was confronted with the whole issue of tithing (i.e. giving ten percent of my increase) and after hearing many sermons to the affect that a failure in this area amounted to “robbing God”, it became my normal practice. I liked tithing; it made me feel like I was somehow doing my part for God and so, to some degree, it was a matter of pride. When the person taking up the collection at church, testified to being a lifelong “Tither”, I could give them a hearty “Amen!” because I was a “Tither” too. I was aware that some people said that tithing was part of the Old Testament Law and thus was no longer required; but I tended to dismiss that argument as a convenient excuse not to give. I was pretty happy with my theology of giving at that point and assumed that it was what I’d always believe. It wasn’t until some people, who were much younger in the faith, asked me if tithing was still “required” that I began to look into the issue for myself.
At first blush, the argument about being a part of the law seemed pretty valid; but then I heard some teaching that pointed out that Abraham had tithed to Melchizedek, which seemed to indicate that the practice of tithing actually preceded the giving of the law. If that was true, then it seemed logical that tithing didn’t necessarily pass away just because we no longer lived under the law. By this time in my Christian walk, I had begun to sense the internal stirring of the Holy Spirit and on more than one occasion, had felt impressed to spontaneously give something other than the requisite 10%. This practice of following the leading of the Holy Spirit was quickly incorporated into my giving theology; as I would give ten percent unless I felt the Spirit move me to give something more. That soon changed to praying about what to give and giving ten percent if I didn’t feel a specific leading. Once again, I was pretty happy with this giving theology and undoubtedly, it remained a matter of pride. It wasn’t until I began to come to a greater understanding of the differences between the old and the new covenant that this theology would once again be challenged.
Though anyone who’s knowledgeable of the scripture would undoubtedly agree that the new covenant, that Jesus afforded us, is superior to the old covenant, the magnitude of that change seems to be lost on most believers. Jesus was the “perfect sacrifice” and the absolute fulfillment of the law; when He said that “It is finished!” that’s exactly what He meant. Regardless of whether tithing was a part of the law, it was a part of the old covenant and because of what Jesus did, we now have a much better covenant. I don’t believe that it is an accident of the scripture (i.e. an oversight on God’s part) that tithing is not directly addressed in the New Testament. We are no longer required to give in order to receive; we are required to believe so that we can receive. We are no longer required to offer a sacrifice to demonstrate our faith in what God will do; we now demonstrate our faith by believing in what He’s already accomplished. For a heart that struggles to give, that may sound like good news, but the reality is that to whom much is given, much is required. While the old covenant allowed for a sacrifice of ten percent, to get the ninety percent blessed; the new covenant requires much more than that. Under its provisions, only those things that are brought into submission to Christ’s lordship are truly and fully blessed.
The arrangement that God intends for new covenant believers goes much deeper than the former agreement. He avails Himself to dwell within us, not to be a passive bystander, but so that “in Him, we might live and move and have our being”. For partakers of this new covenant, all that we have must now be forfeit to God and to His purposes. I am not suggesting that we are required to give away all of our material possessions, keeping nothing for our families (unless, of course, the Spirit directs us to do so); but I am suggesting that it is no longer acceptable to give ten percent of our increase to God’s purposes, while spending the other ninety percent in whatever way we choose. The indwelling of His Holy Spirit was meant to revolutionize every facet of our lives, not simply to give us goose bumps about what heaven might be like, while we indulge ourselves in the things of this world. All that a new covenant believer has was meant to be at God’s disposal.
If we’re looking for a New Testament reference on giving, I believe that Acts chapter 5 provides a powerful picture. This scripture tells us that God was moving on His people to share all that they had with one another, when a couple named Ananias & Sapphira decided to hold back a little for themselves; if tithing was still the requirement, then selling their piece of property and giving ten percent of their gain, should have been enough. In fact, the story would seem to indicate that they gave the larger portion of their gain to the apostles, keeping only a part for themselves. But something within them (e.g. the Holy Spirit) knew that God was asking for more, so they tried to create the illusion of giving their all, which ultimately became their undoing. I believe that we “Tithers” can fall into a similar trap, as we comfortably give our ten percent, when the Spirit of God is urging us to give and do much more. If we truly believe in what Jesus accomplished at the cross and that He is the source of our blessing, than why wouldn’t we trust Him to guide us in the dispensing of “all” of the increase that He has provided for us? Could it be that we’ve maintained the Old Testament mindset that the harvest really belongs to us and that we just want God to bless it?
I don’t believe that it is incidental that many of the Old Testament heroes (e.g. Job, Abraham, David, Jacob…) were rich in material things; after all, under the old covenant, this was an outward sign of fruitfulness. But with the indwelling of God’s Spirit came a new standard for fruitfulness and the lives of the New Testament heroes looked much different because of it. While we love the picture of God’s people shouting down the walls of Jericho, I believe that the image of an imprisoned Paul and Silas, shackled and singing praise choruses at midnight, is more applicable. In the former, they were shouting for what God was going to do for them; while in the latter, they were praising Him for what He’d already done. God didn’t promise Paul and Silas that he’d bring the walls of the prison down and for all they knew, this might be their last few hours on the earth; yet they praised the Lord for His goodness and faithfulness. They understood that it was now Christ, within us, that was the hope of glory; and not that we would have the largest flocks or the most land or be the most powerful nation on the earth.
My heart goes out to anyone in ministry, who relies on the giving of the saints. Even with the fervent preaching of the tithe (and/or sowing your seed of blessing), the giving rarely gets anywhere near ten percent. I would suggest that if believers truly sought the leading of the Holy Spirit in matters of giving and were genuinely obedient to that guidance, no God ordained ministry would ever lack the needed resources. Unfortunately, too many of us are still more interested in tapping into the resources of heaven for the purposes of building our own earthly kingdoms; as opposed to allowing God to bring His Kingdom rule through us. Oddly, the preaching of the tithe and the concept of sowing your seed of blessing, both feed that mentality. They make God seem like a heavenly vending machine; so that if we put in the right amount of change and punch the right buttons, He’ll be obligated to deliver what we want. And ultimately, “what we want” is the problem. The new covenant only really works as designed, when what we want is Jesus. When He becomes the means instead of the end, we’ve missed the point completely. In light of Christ’s sacrifice, the only “reasonable” response is the offering of our bodies and indeed our very lives, which is simply an act of our spiritual worship (Rom 12:1). At this point in my life, I’ve come to believe that anything less amounts to “robbing God”.
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