I wrote this many years ago, and it’s actually appeared in multiple books, but I guess I never posted it here.
*
As a child You seemed so far away
Ancient and foreboding
A mythological figure from another realm
*
I could not see You
nor hear Your voice
nor sense Your presence
It made it so easy to ignore You
*
Because I never really understood that I was lost
I had no idea that You were looking for me
Nor did I appreciate the significance of the day that You found me
All I knew was that I’d traded a smoke-filled room for the open air
and that for the first time, I could breathe
*
But then You came
Like a little bird at first
Flickering along the branches of my barren tree
I didn’t grasp the meaning of Your song, but I knew that You were there
And that was enough for me
*
But You could not be content with that
So You sent the swirling wind of Your Spirit
Splintering the rails of my fences
and uprooting the posts that they hung on
Releasing all that had been pent up within
and scattering it to places I could not reach
*
Upon the dust of what remained You breathed Your life
And the fire of Your passion consumed me
As wells of hope and joy sprang up within me
And the wings of Your peace enclosed around me
*
For the first time I recognized Your voice
and I realized that You’d been speaking to me from the beginning
I loved what You said and I loved the way You said it
Your words are like dancing flames within my consciousness
Your wisdom is an unshakable mooring
*
Yet beyond what I’ve known
And beyond what I feel
There is You!
And all that You are
*
You are the gentle rain that sustains the land
You are the lightning that renews the forest
You are the wonder in a newborns eye
You are the shaking of the earth
You are the beauty of the pearl
You are the majesty of the canyons
You are the vastness of the heavens
You are the tenderness of the butterfly
You are the crashing of the waves
*
You are the tears I’ve refused to shed
You are the song I’ve been afraid to sing
You are the word stuck in my throat
You are my strength
You are my refuge
You are my hope
You are, I Am
*
Pull me into Your circle dance
Weave me into Your fabric
Dissolve me in Your cup
Draw me into all that You are
Old Flame
Posted in Commentaries, Free Verse / Poetry, tagged attraction, bedazzled, chaos, I'm not who I was, inheritance, James 4:4, royal on September 24, 2024| Leave a Comment »
I wish I could deny there was ever an attraction
But I was young and didn’t know any better
I freely abandoned my royal heritage & forfeited my inheritance
Just so I could chase you through the streets
I rummaged through dumpsters for you
And you let me think that we might one day be together
You always talked as if you knew
And for a time, I hung on your every word
My eyes were bedazzled by the flashes that came from your lure
And I willingly drank from the drainage of your gutters
I can’t really blame you for my affliction or hunger
But I so desperately needed a shower
You loved it when I’d get up and dance with you
But it made you furious that I would never sing your song
And once I caught a glimpse behind the curtain
I couldn’t go back out front and pretend like I didn’t know
Eventually, I just crawled into my own head
And dwelt in the basement of my soul
But the stillness and the quiet was more than I could bear
And I had to open a window
I really just needed some air
But I couldn’t keep the light from pouring in
The sun beams repainted everything
And the shadows had no place to go
I couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under your eyes
And the cracks in your façade
But it was never really about the way you looked
It was about the chaos that always seemed to follow you
After a while you stopped coming around
And I moved on to higher ground
Every so often, I catch of whiff of your old perfume
Or hear that song blaring from someone’s speakers
But it was such a long time ago
And I’m not who I was
(James 4:4)
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