When she walked in front of the car, she wouldn’t even look at me; and when she got in, she shut the door harder than she meant to. I knew she was frustrated that I’d made her change clothes, but her shorts were too short and her shirt was too tight. I understood that she wasn’t trying to be provocative, and that compared to her peers she was downright modest; but a dad has to do what he has to do. I wanted to explain it to her, but I realized that at the moment she wasn’t ready to have that conversation. We’d driven a few blocks in awkward silence when I noticed that one of the neighbors had a bunch of their furniture in the driveway. Given the fact that there was a carpet company truck parked along the street, I assumed they must be getting some new carpet; but my teenaged daughter said, “Hey look, they’re having a Garage Sale”. After doing another quick scan, I said, “I don’t see any signs for a Garage Sale.” But she insisted, “Why else would they have all their furniture in the driveway like that?” I then pointed out the carpet truck, and shared my theory on what was happening; but then I added, “This is ultimately the reason you had to change clothes.” With a confused look on her face, she said, “What?” To which I replied, “When you put all of your stuff out on display like that, people just assume it’s for sale; even if you never said so.” It was a very quiet ride after that.
Archive for the ‘Thought for the Day / Quotes’ Category
Thought for the Day – For Sale
Posted in Parenting / Family, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged modest, teenaged girls on September 5, 2014| Leave a Comment »
Thought for the Day – Apples & Oranges
Posted in Commentaries, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged Garden of Eden, Tree of Life, Tree of the Knowledge of Good & Evil on August 28, 2014| Leave a Comment »
I recently read an article about a popular young actress, who claims that she’d been a “born-again Christian” for 4 years. She says that this all changed when, at 16 yrs. old, she had a major crush on a bisexual man, who liked to dress in women’s clothing. Because of her great affection for him, she thought, “There’s no way this guy’s going to hell. This guy is amazing.” Since that was counter to the teachings of her church, she decided to leave Christianity behind. Her take on the Bible is that it lacks “strong female role models” and that though “it was a nice guide”, “it certainly wasn’t how I was going to live my life.” I would guess that her story isn’t all that unusual in Hollywood, or the rest of America for that matter. At least this girl seemed to recognize that by throwing the Bible “out the window” she was fundamentally departing from the entire system of belief. There are many folks who still count themselves “Christian” and even occupy a pew on a weekly basis, who believe that they can pick and choose which parts of God’s word they adhere to.
While I wasn’t really surprised by this article, I was struck by this girl’s utter confidence (i.e. faith) in her ability to discern what was acceptable and what was not. In effect, she’s saying that she’s not willing to believe in a God who doesn’t agree with her conception of right and wrong. As I pondered the source of her confidence I couldn’t help but think of the Garden of Eden, where man first got to choose between the tree of life, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Interestingly, religion has confused people into believing that the choice was between the knowledge of good and the knowledge of evil, which really skews the lesson of the fall of man. Ultimately, mankind’s folly is wrapped up in his desire to decide for himself rather than to depend on a Savior. In fact, Jesus told his disciples, “The work of God is this: to believe in the One He has sent.” In the end, it will all boil down to what we’ve placed our faith in. For this young woman, who is rich in the things of this world, that will likely be her own sense of righteousness. For those who choose the tree of life, that will be the righteousness of our Savior.
Thought for the Day – Honesty
Posted in Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged emotional honesty, honesty on August 20, 2014| Leave a Comment »
Like so many other words in our culture, I believe that the meaning of the word “honesty” has changed over time. In today’s world, I suspect that most people would define it something like, “being honest means that you don’t tell a lie.” And while on some level that is probably true, I believe that genuine honesty goes much deeper than that. In fact, I would submit that honesty is a lot more about our intentions/motivations than our actions/words. Here’s an example:
A man takes a legitimate business trip to Las Vegas, and happens to run into an old girlfriend. After dinner and drinks, they head up to his hotel room, and it quickly becomes “just like old times”. After that encounter, they spend the rest of the trip carrying on a torrid affair. When the man comes home, and his wife asks how his trip was, he responds, “It was good. I ran into an old friend out there”.
Many would likely defend that he didn’t lie to his wife. After all, from his perspective, the trip was “good”, and he absolutely “ran into an old friend”. But clearly, his intention is to deceive her as to what really went on in Las Vegas. And at the very least, that makes him dishonest.
To go a step further, I would suggest that if the man comes home and merely presents himself as a dutiful husband, returning from an uneventful business trip, he is guilty creating an illusion. Within himself he has the understanding that what he’s done has the potential to massively change the context of his relationship with his family; and to pretend that things are unchanged is emotionally dishonest. Over time, this kind of dishonesty can be more damaging than the unfaithful act that precipitated it. While the wife might be able to get past the husband’s momentary indiscretion, she would be left to wonder whether she could ever trust a man who could look her in the eye, and lie to her, on a daily basis.
While this example may seem extreme, I believe that emotional dishonesty has become commonplace within our culture, and that we often rationalize that by not verbalizing or acting on the truth of our hearts, we’re somehow absolved of what goes on there. We think that if we don’t use racial slurs, we aren’t really a racist; even when we consciously judge people based on the color of their skin. Sadly, I don’t sense that church folk are any different in this regard. We smile at each other, and call each other “brother” or “sister”, but too often there is judgement, jealousy, and slander in our hearts. I believe that this is why the word that non-church going folk most often use to describe the Sunday morning crowd is “hypocrites”.
Before we can be emotionally honest with anyone else, we have to be honest with ourselves, and with God. If the man in the example convinces himself that what happened in Vegas really didn’t mean anything, he’s deceived himself, and as such, he loses the ability to be honest with his family or with God. To sustain the deception, he has to harden himself to any truth that would threaten to break that illusion, and over time he will have to build layer upon layer to protect it. Those layers then become an impediment to having a healthy relationship with either of them.
The Psalmist wrote, “Search me , O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24) I believe that opening our hearts to God, and allowing Him to reveal what is within us, is the first step in becoming a truly honest person. When we reach the point that we can be that honest with Him and with ourselves, I believe that He will empower us to walk with integrity before men. Until we reach that point, the credibility of our message will remain largely compromised.
Thought for the Day – Fair Leadership
Posted in Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged fairness, leadership, unfair on August 13, 2014| 1 Comment »
A weak leader generally creates a wall of oppressive rules, which he hopes to hide behind in times of trouble. While a strong leader is more likely to create reasonable boundaries, and to stand with confidence in the face of adversity. The weak one rationalizes that treating everyone the same makes him “fair”, while the strong one understands that failing to acknowledge the differences will ultimately render him “unfair”.
Thought for the Day – A Cheerful Giver
Posted in Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged cheerful giver, giving on July 18, 2014| Leave a Comment »
Sometimes the first step toward being a cheerful giver is becoming a reluctant one.
Thought for the Day – Is This Really Helping?
Posted in Parenting / Family, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged helping, pigsty, prodigal on June 26, 2014| Leave a Comment »
There is a significant difference between caring for a stranger, who you find naked and beat up along the road, and feeding a prodigal that you find living in a pigsty. The former presents an opportunity for the person to get to a better place, while the latter may actually help them to remain in the slop. Making the pigsty bearable can be the very thing that keeps a prodigal from ever humbling themselves and going home.
Thought for the Day – Standing at Death’s Door
Posted in Commentaries, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged death, sudden death on June 12, 2014| Leave a Comment »
We seem to be going through a period where death is all around us. Within the last two weeks we lost a co-worker to cancer, my father-in-law had a stroke (which easily could have taken him from us), and a young man, who is close to our family, once again stopped his heart through his use of heroin (he is still in the Intensive Care Unit). Though the latter two survived, the sense of death’s nearness has been tangible. Then, a couple of days ago, we got word that one of the five soldiers killed in the friendly fire incident over in Afghanistan was from a small community that is immediately adjacent to the plant I’ve worked at for the last two decades. Though I didn’t know this boy personally, his family and friends are embedded in our community; and when I looked into his smiling face, I couldn’t help but think of my own son Patrick, who is enthusiastic to join the military when his school days are done. Finally, another co-worker was killed yesterday in a traffic accident, just outside the plant. This is the same intersection I’ve been passing through, on an almost daily basis, for over 20 years. Though the depth of my association to each of these individuals was varied, it’s hard not to feel a sense of connection to all of these events.
It’s probably a by-product of my age that I don’t necessarily turn my head from such things anymore. When you’re young, the concept of death can seem abstract, but as the years go by, the reality of it comes crashing in. Like these last two men, it can, and often does, come quickly and without warning. Such events should prompt us to consider each day as a gift, and to endeavor to make the most of them. Last night, as I drove past the site of the car accident, I thought about questions like, “What if that had been me?” “What would I wish I’d have said or done before that moment arrived; and what would suddenly seem like it had been a huge waste of my time?” Maybe that sounds morbid to some, but to me, it is a necessary part of making the most of my days. I’m not sure whether the man in the accident survived the initial impact, but if he did, I feel certain that he wasn’t thinking about the professional achievements of his career, or the balance of his IRA, or his golf handicap, or the status of his Fantasy Football team, or another one of the thousand things that compete for our time and energy. If we are fortunate enough to experience such a moment before stepping out of this life, I have no doubt that we will have a sudden clarity on what really matters. Unfortunately, by then, it’s too late to do anything about it. So even though it may seem strange, I’m not rushing to get past this recent rash of tragedies. As I pray for the families and communities impacted by these deaths, I also catch myself praying that the Lord will help me to make the most of the days that I have left. While a part of me hopes that I’ll have another 25 or 30 years of days, another part of me knows that I’m not guaranteed to make it to the end of this one. And if I die, before I wake, I pray that those closest to me would know how much I loved them, and that the Lord that I love will be able to say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
Thought for the Day – Asking for Directions
Posted in Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged seeking God's guidance on June 2, 2014| Leave a Comment »
At a time when I was laboring to hear the voice of my heavenly Father, the Lord showed me an image of my (then) young son Andrew. Within the vision I had told him to go clean up his room, but I somehow realized that I’d given that direction in French. As my little boy blinked at me in confusion, the Lord said, “Whose fault is it that Andrew’s not cleaning up his room?” To which I responded, “It’s my fault because I spoke to him in French.” To which the Lord replied, “That’s right, it is a father’s responsibility to speak in a way that his children can understand.” I understood that this was God’s way of telling me to stop worrying about whether I would hear Him, and to trust that He knew how to get through to me. Later, the Lord brought some balance to this picture by reminding me that it is not a father’s job to chase down his children in order to give them direction; and that a wise son looks to his father for guidance.
While I’ve most often heard the passage from James (4:2) “you have not because you ask not” used in the context of asking for what we want, I believe that it more rightly applies to asking for His guidance. Generally speaking, our desire for the former tends to keep us from seeking the latter.
Thought for the Day – Decision Making
Posted in Parenting / Family, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged consequences, making decisions on May 28, 2014| Leave a Comment »
It’s hard to believe that my two youngest (i.e. twins) will start high school in the Fall. Without a doubt they’re growing up fast, and as a parent I spend a lot of time praying about the decisions they will face. Of course, part of my job is to teach them how to make good decisions. To that end, I had an interesting conversation with my youngest son last night. He’s facing a tough decision about what to do when the next school year starts. He’s been playing both football, and in the band, for the last few years; but will now have to pick just one of those for his high school years. As we spoke, he expressed his fear of the regret that would come with making the “wrong decision”; and he seemed surprised when I assured him that he would regret it, regardless of which way he went. I guess that may seem a little harsh to some, but as I explained to him, that is the nature of making a decision. I told him that if he picks football, he will be bummed every time he sees the drum-line march by without him. And that if he picks the band, it will hurt to watch the team run onto the field without him. The reality of the situation is that he is going to have to give up something that he loves, and that is never pleasant.
I could see that this made him feel as though he was in a “no-win” situation, but I assured him that the opportunity to do both of these things, during the years leading up to high school, has been a great gift; and that the opportunity to continue with one of them was an even greater gift. I told him that whatever he decided he needed to do it with his whole heart, and to stubbornly refuse to entertain the thought of “what if I’d gone the other way”. By example, I said that a married couple, who walks around thinking about what it would be like if they’d married someone else, is destined for either a lifetime of unhappiness, or a divorce.
I’m not sure that any of this made his decision easier, or made him feel the slightest bit better, but hopefully it prepares him for the repercussions he will experience next Fall. It strikes me that our human nature always wants to have it both ways, but that life rarely allows for that. I know far too many adults who get paralyzed at this same point of decision. In the end, making a decision generally becomes the only way to keep moving forward.
Bjcorbin's Blog 
Thought for the Day – Molestation of the Mind
Posted in Commentaries, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged Jesus, religion on September 16, 2014| 1 Comment »
I am currently reading, “Foxe’s Book of Martyrs”, which was originally published in 1563. While fumbling through the old English text can be a little challenging, there are also some unusual phrases that really resonate. One of those is found in the description of the Apostle Andrew at the time of his martyrdom. Knowing what awaited him, Foxe describes Andrew’s state as he marched toward crucifixion. “Going toward the place, and seeing afar off the cross prepared, did neither change countenance nor colour, neither did his blood shrink, neither did he fail in his speech, his body fainted not, neither was his mind molested, nor did his understanding fail him, as it is the manner of men to do”.
While this is no doubt a beautiful portrait of unshakable faith, I was especially taken with the image of a mind that has been “molested”. The word molestation has some interesting inferences, which makes it especially meaningful in this context. Molestation almost always involves a child, or at least an innocent. It also tends to be initiated by someone close to the victim, like a family member, a teacher, a coach, or maybe even an older child. Often, the perpetrators of such crimes wrap their insidious intent in a cloak of legitimate authority, empathy, or even affection. Because of this guise, these predators generally don’t have to break down the door, as their unsuspecting victims willing let them in. And in all of this I see profound parallels to the manner in which our minds become corrupted from pure and simple devotion to the person of Jesus Christ.
More so than the hollow and deceptive philosophies of this world, I sense that it is the false doctrines of religion that have most defiled our understanding of Christ, and His Kingdom. Generally, these things came to us when we were as yet still children in the faith, and dressed in their priestly robes, we succumbed to their implied authority. Years later, and far removed from those circumstances, the taint of these formative experiences continues to stain our thinking, and distort our vision. Like Andrew, the key to our freedom lies within a genuine relationship with the man Jesus. We need to get past those things which have simply come to represent Him, and engage with Him actively and directly.
Rate this:
Read Full Post »