I have recently been pulled into some conversations about what sort of “rights” a would-be father has, but I believe that before we talk about “rights” we need to address “responsibilities”.
1. Impregnating a woman does not automatically qualify you as a father. It makes you a sperm donor. The streets are filled with sperm donors, while good fathers are in short supply.
2. If you were unable to sustain a meaningful & committed relationship with the mother before she was pregnant, adding a baby isn’t likely to improve things.
3. If you haven’t figured out how to take care of yourself (i.e. put food on your own table, clean up after yourself, show up to where you said you’d be…), you’re probably not ready for fatherhood.
4. If your favorite recreational activity is partying yourself into a stupor, you might think about how you plan on handling the child who needs to go to the Emergency Room in the middle of the night.
5. If you routinely hang out with unsavory characters, you might also consider that you will become their connection to this child.
6. Being a father isn’t about how the baby makes you feel, it’s about what you bring to the child’s life. If all you’re looking for is unconditional love, consider buying a puppy instead.
7. A child is not a possession, a trophy, or some sort of validation of your manhood. It’s a lifelong commitment to pour out your soul for someone else.
8. Your child will be far more impacted by what you show it than what you tell it.
9. Fatherhood is not about what it adds to your life, it’s about what you’re willing to sacrifice.
10. While a child growing up without a father creates an emotional void, a child growing up with a bad father creates pain and destruction.
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