Bjcorbin's Blog

(Written many years ago)

Barry stared at the seemingly endless and unchanging landscape of the Arizona desert, as the bus crept down the highway.  Though not even six months had passed since his 21^st birthday, he felt much older.  His view of the world and of life itself had changed a lot in the three years since he’d left his hometown in Selby, Oklahoma, to join the Army.  Nothing in his upbringing there had prepared him for the things that he’d seen and experienced since he’d left. 

Selby was a very small town that was in the middle of nowhere; even the few people from Oklahoma that Barry had met while in the Army, had never heard of it.  The town had sprung up during the oil boom in the early 1900s, and years later a pipeline pumping station was built there to load crude oil into tank cars, which were then moved to refineries in the south of Texas.  Pretty much anyone who lived in Selby either worked for the railroad or the oil company, though a few people tried to raise some cattle or sheep on the side. 

There was no hotel in town because no one ever came to visit and no one had a television set, because there wasn’t a signal that reached the area.  Barry’s family lived on the edge of the community, on a ten-acre tract that most people would consider a “dirt farm”.  The soil wasn’t fit for growing anything, but Barry’s father managed to support enough livestock to keep his family supplied with eggs, milk, and on occasion, some fresh pork.  Though his father worked long days for the railroad, Barry tended to think of him as more of a farmer.

Though many a small town boy has entertained dreams of leaving the confines of their upbringing, Barry wasn’t one of them.  He loved his family and the life that they had in Selby.  It was a tight knit community, where everyone felt like kin and Barry had no desire to live anywhere else.  But in 1972, the year that he’d turned 18, the United States was still deeply entrenched in the Vietnam War, and he felt that it was his duty to serve his country. 

The week after he graduated, his father drove him to the nearest recruiting station, which was over two hours away.  Though Barry had not been anxious about this decision, a wave of loneliness and fear swept over him as he watched his father drive away.  He felt sure, in that moment, that life would never be the same, and the years since had been proof that he was right. 

Barry was a quiet and thoughtful young man with a very developed sense of right and wrong.  His upbringing had cultivated a deep and abiding faith in God, which seemed to affect the way he viewed everything.  In the Army, they often referred to him as “preacher man”, because of his habit of carrying his Bible with him everywhere he went; though Barry was never one to preach to anybody.  He was more of a listener and observer.  He seemed to run to the scripture more to find a context for what he was observing than to create a sermon for someone else. 

During his years in Selby, he had experienced very little turmoil, so as he ventured from there, he was shocked by the emotional pitch of the times.  In his mind, it was like driving into a tornado.  As grieved as he found himself over the condition of his own country, what he saw in Vietnam shook him to his foundations.  He was not one to question God’s goodness, and so he viewed these things as the byproduct of man’s fallen nature.  As such, they only served to reinforce his belief that God’s intervention is man’s only hope. 

As Barry laid his head back against the bus seat, the emotional and spiritual exhaustion of the last three years seemed to weigh upon him.  He wondered what the next chapter of his life was going to look like, and those thoughts of the future made him wish that God would simply come and take him to heaven, like He did with Enoch in the Bible.  As he drifted off to sleep, he whispered beneath his breath, “I just want to be with You, Lord.” 

In what seemed to be only a few short moments later, Barry became aware of his head resting on the shoulder of the man seated next to him, which caused him to jerk his body upright.  As he tried to clear his head & open his eyes, he said, “Excuse me sir, I’m sorry about lying against you like that.”  Before his eyes could focus, he heard a warm voice reply, “That’s not a problem son.”  As he regained his composure, Barry saw that this voice had come from a well preserved man who appeared to be in his early 60s; with a full head of silvery hair and very light blue eyes.  Just as his voice had managed to convey a sense of warmth, so did his glance, which helped to curb Barry’s embarrassment. 

Not really knowing what else to say, Barry began to sink back into his seat when another sudden realization struck him.  He was no longer on a bus; he was now seated in a train. 

Without realizing it, Barry let out an audible gasp and the man sitting next to him said, “Are you all right, son?” 

Again, Barry was at a loss for words, as he quietly stammered, “I must be dreaming.” 

As his eyes met the older man’s, the man said, “It is very dream like, isn’t it?” 

Both his glance and tone let Barry know that this man understood exactly what he was feeling. “So is this a dream?” asked Barry. 

The older man’s face broke into a broad smile as he said, “Sometimes it’s hard to tell what is real and what’s a dream.  Maybe we should just ride for awhile and see what happens.” 

Despite the strangeness of the situation, Barry felt compelled to trust this man, as he exhaled some of the tension from his body. 

After a few moments Barry asked the man, “Where exactly is this train heading?” 

To which he replied, “Everyone on this train is heading to a place that they’ve never been before,” and as their eyes again met, he went on to say, “This is the Glory Train.” 

While Barry didn’t really understand what that meant, he could sense that there was profound meaning in it.  He qualified, “God’s glory?” 

“Is there any other kind?” the man replied.

After another awkward pause, Barry reached out his hand to the man and introduced himself, “By the way, my name is Barry.” 

As the man grasped his hand he said, “Hi, Barry, my name is Raymond.”  

“I’m pleased to meet you, sir,” Barry responded, before going on to ask, “You seem to know something about what’s going on here.  Can you tell me about this train and how I got on it?” 

Raymond explained that the train had been created specifically for those who were seeking God’s glory and that Barry’s desire for that must have been what brought him aboard.  As Barry looked at the other passengers he noticed the various, and in some cases strange, ways that they were dressed.  When he queried Raymond about it, Raymond explained that the Glory Train itself existed outside of time, but that the passengers had come from many different periods in time.  Barry found the idea to be pretty hard to digest, but he reminded himself that this was probably just a dream and decided not to worry about it. 

For several minutes after that, he sat watching and listening to the other passengers.   The conversations seemed to blend into a low, undistinguishable murmur, until the heated words of a man sitting just in front of them cut through the background. 

“This is totally unacceptable!  I will not have my name attached to some third-rate, amateurish effort like this!  You’re not going to accomplish anything for the Kingdom unless you start demanding excellence from yourself and from everyone else!  You need to get this out of my face!” 

As the man’s terse words ebbed, a well dressed young man with a distressed look on his face moved quickly from the seats in front of them and down the aisle.  Raymond stood up and leaned against the seat in front of him, asking, “Is everything all right my friend?” 

The man sitting in front of them quickly stood to his feet and spun around; and with a tone quite unlike the one he’d used with his young assistant said, “Oh, yes, everything’s just fine.  It’s just this boy I’ve been discipling.  He just doesn’t get it.”  

“Get what?” asked Raymond  

“Oh, you know, the Kingdom,” replied the man. 

“Ah yes, the Kingdom,” Raymond said knowingly.  As he reached his hand out to the man, he said, “My name is Raymond.” 

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Raymond, I am Apostle Terrance Jones.” 

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Terrance.  This is my friend Barry,” Raymond said as he motioned toward Barry. 

Barry quickly stood, offering his hand as he said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.” 

“The pleasure is mine, Barry.  I just love young people,” Terrance replied.  “In fact, you may have heard of some of the youth-oriented programs our ministry offers,” he continued. 

But before he could go on, Raymond interrupted to say, “Barry comes from a different time period than that of your ministry.” 

“Oh, well that’s too bad,” continued Terrance, “But I just happen to have some samples with me.” 

Reaching down into his seat, Terrance pulled a laptop computer from his case and inserted a disc.  Barry watched in amazement as the disc played.  It detailed Terrance’s rise from the humble beginnings of a small rural church to the renown that accompanies international ministry.  There was footage of him storming across the stages of packed arenas, of people crying and falling on the ground as he lay hands on them, of the beautiful facilities that the ministry had built all over the world, and there were endorsements for all of the resources available from his ministry.  Barry had never seen anything like it, especially not associated with church. 

When the disc ended, Raymond said, “That’s very impressive,” which seemed to please Terrance, but he then went on to say, “We just wanted to make sure that your young friend was okay,” which seemed to make him uncomfortable. 

“Oh, yes, he’ll be fine.  He’s like my little Elisha.  He sees my anointing and wants to wear my mantle, but every once in a while I have to tell him to go away to test his desire for it.  I’ve told him many times that if he wants my anointing, he’s going to have to serve me without question.  This is all just a part of his discipleship,” Terrance concluded smugly. 

“Ah yes, discipleship,” said Raymond.  After a somewhat awkward pause, he continued, “Well we certainly didn’t mean to intrude, it was a pleasure meeting you, Terrance.” 

Terrance thanked them as well and upon gathering his things, he moved down the aisle in the same direction that his assistant had fled.

As they sat back down in their seats, Raymond could see that Barry was troubled, and he asked, “So what do you make of all that?” 

Barry thought about it for a moment and finally replied, “I find it kind of disturbing I guess.” 

“In what way?” asked Raymond. 

“In a lot of different ways, really; but I guess he probably knows a lot of things that I don’t, so it’s better that I don’t say anything,” Barry replied sheepishly. 

“What do you think he knows that you don’t?” asked Raymond. 

“I don’t know, I mean he went to bible college and he’s been ministering for years and he’s obviously been very successful with it, so who am I to question what he says?” he answered. 

“Well, I’ve been around for awhile myself and some of what he said raised a few questions for me too; so why don’t we share our questions and see if we can help each other out?” suggested Raymond. 

“Well that seems like it should be okay.  You go first,” replied Barry. 

“All right”, said Raymond. “What did you think about his explanation of discipleship?” 

“I think that I understand the relationship between Elijah and Elisha, but I wonder if that should be our model for discipleship today?” he said.  “I mean, back then, they didn’t have Jesus or the Holy Spirit living inside of them, so I guess all they could do was to chase after someone who they figured had tapped into God in a way that they hadn’t.  For Elisha, Elijah was probably the closest thing to Jesus that he ever knew, but it seems to me that it shouldn’t work like that anymore,” Barry concluded. 

“Why not?” asked Raymond. 

“Well, because Jesus came and accomplished everything for us, He reconnected us to God, He gave us an example of how to live, He gave us the Holy Spirit, and so we don’t have to chase after someone else’s connection to God, we’ve got one of our own,” Barry replied. 

“That’s very good, Barry, but what about this young man’s desire for Terrance’s anointing?  I mean wouldn’t you like to have a big successful ministry like that?” asked Raymond. 

Barry thought for a moment and said, “I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t find that idea kind of appealing, but that sort of seems like covetousness to me.  I guess that I believe that God formed me with His very own hands for a specific reason, and that I ought to be seeking what He’s anointed me to do instead of coveting what He’s already done in someone else.” 

Raymond smiled and said, “Very good my young friend, very good.” 

Before they could continue their conversation, a monotone voice came over the railcar speaker, announcing that they were pulling into Kingdom Station.  This drew Barry’s attention away from their conversation, as he craned his neck to see what was happening.

As the train crept to a halt, Barry asked Raymond about what this stop was for.  Raymond explained that the Glory Train stopped at several stations, and this stop was for those who were seeking a revelation of God’s glory through His kingdom.  After explaining that he could only get off of the train at one stop, he asked Barry whether he felt that this was the one.  Barry asked how he could know and Raymond assured him that when the time came, there would be no doubt about where to get off the train.  In light of Raymond’s answer, Barry said that this must not be his stop, and within a few minutes the train was once again underway.  After the commotion of the stop calmed down, Raymond and Barry got back to their conversation.

“So we were talking about what disturbed you during our time with Brother Terrance,” began Raymond. 

“Oh yeah,” replied Barry.  “Well, I guess I’ve got a pretty simplistic way of looking at things, but shouldn’t a man who’s spent so much of his life in ministry seem a little more like Christ?” he continued. 

Raymond again smiled and asked, “Why would you expect him to resemble Christ?” 

“Well I guess it’s because the scripture says that we are destined to be conformed to the image of Christ and because of the fruit of Holy Spirit,” Barry replied. 

“What about the fruit of the Holy Spirit?” asked Raymond. 

“I don’t know, maybe I don’t have the right understanding of this, but I always thought that as we give control of our lives over to the Holy Spirit that people should start to see the fruit of the Spirit in us,” he replied. 

“So you didn’t see any of that fruit?” asked Raymond. 

“Well, not really.  I sure couldn’t use words like peace, patience, self control, kindness, gentleness, or joy to describe the way that he talked to his assistant, but honestly, I didn’t see any of that in his little movies either,” he replied. 

“How would you describe what you saw?” Raymond asked. 

Barry was quiet for a few moments and then his face broke into a smile. 

Raymond asked, “What is it?” 

“It’s nothing really,” said Barry. 

“No, it’s something, be honest,” he prodded. 

“Well, I don’t want to be disrespectful, but have you ever heard of the singer James Brown?” 

“You mean the guy they call ‘The Hardest Working Man in Show Business’?” answered Raymond. 

“Yes, that’s the guy,” Barry said with a big smile “Even though this pastor was talking about God, with all that running around and shaking, and shouting, and sweating, and working the crowd into a frenzy, he seemed a lot more like James Brown than Jesus Christ.” 

Raymond laughed loudly, but Barry only smiled, as he was still worried about appearing to be disrespectful. 

When Raymond’s amusement subsided he said, “I take it that isn’t how the pastor did it in your church back home?” 

“Well, actually we didn’t really have a pastor,” replied Barry. 

“Really, why not?” he asked. 

“Well, Selby was too small and too far away from anything.  Besides we couldn’t afford to pay a pastor,” Barry explained. 

“So what did you do?” 

“Well my dad pretty much led the services,” he answered. 

“Really.  So what were those services like?” continued Raymond. 

Barry’s eyes seemed to lock into a stare, as if he were reliving the past, and he said, “Everyone would come to the Union Hall at around 11:00 on Sunday morning, with pots, pans and bowls of food, which the ladies would put in the kitchen.  My Aunt Ruth would always lead us in a couple of hymns, then we’d have a time of prayer where anyone who had something on their heart could lead out.  When that was finished, my dad would always pray that the Lord would open our eyes, ears and hearts to the Word.  Then he’d read whatever scripture he felt the Lord was leading Him to share. 

Sometimes he’d say what he thought it meant, but he would always remind us, that as children of God, we needed to go to the Lord directly for our understanding of scripture.  He’d always end the service with a prayer of thanks for the previous week, for God’s hand to be on us in the coming week and a blessing over the food.  He’d also remind us that, ‘His sheep know His voice’ and to be listening for that voice in the week to come.  Then we’d all move into the part of the hall that had the tables and eat lunch together.” 

“Wow that sounds wonderful,” said Raymond. 

Barry’s eyes seemed to return to the present and he said, “It wasn’t very exciting, but it’s what I grew up thinking church ought to be.” 

“Now that you’ve been some other places, have you changed your mind about that?” asked Raymond. 

After a thoughtful pause Barry replied, “No, actually I think what I’ve seen since then has only made me believe that even more.” 

Raymond was shaking his head in agreement when the railcar speaker crackled with the announcement that the train was pulling into Firetown.

As they continued their journey, Raymond continued to ask Barry questions.  Even though Barry wasn’t very fond of talking, Raymond kept asking about things that were close to his heart.  Barry wanted to ask Raymond some questions too, but he wasn’t able to steer the conversation like Raymond seemed to be able to. 

At each stop, Raymond would ask if this was the one and when Barry would say that he didn’t think so, he would ask him why he didn’t think so.  It forced Barry to express his beliefs in a way that he never had, and even he was surprised at some of the things that came out of his mouth.  He hadn’t remembered thinking some of the things that he said, but they were, without a doubt, his convictions.  He was also surprised by how at ease he was with Raymond.  It normally took Barry awhile to warm to someone, but he seemed to have an instant bond with him. 

With each stop, they seemed to get deeper in conversation about the things of the Kingdom, like the fire of God, God’s grace, God’s love of the lost, knowledge, wisdom, miracles, the anointing, abundance.  It seemed that they had been riding all day, and as they pulled out of the Miracle City station, the expression on Raymond’s face grew serious.

“Barry, I have to tell you that was the last scheduled stop for the train on this run.” 

Barry’s looked somewhat distressed and said, “I thought that you said that I’d know where to get off and that there wouldn’t be any doubt?” 

“Indeed, that is what I said,” replied Raymond. 

“But I don’t understand.  I mean as attractive as all of those stops were, I didn’t believe that I should get off there.  Now you’re saying that I’ve somehow missed it?” exclaimed Barry! 

“Missed what?” Raymond asked calmly. 

“I don’t understand what you’re asking me,” said Barry. 

“I’m asking you what you came here to find?” said Raymond. 

“I thought you said that everyone came looking for God’s glory?” 

“Again, you are correct, I did say that.  But as you can see God manifests His glory in many things, which is why there were so many stops.  But none of them represented His glory sufficiently enough for you to choose them.  So the question that I’m posing to you is where do you hope to find God’s glory?” 

Barry was confused by the question and he didn’t understand why Raymond seemed to know everything else, but that he couldn’t (or maybe wouldn’t) tell him this answer.  He closed his eyes and began to silently pray that God would help him, and he began to have a vision of a hand reaching toward him.  It was a strong, rugged looking hand, but it moved in a manner that seemed very gentle.  As the hand reached him, it lovingly stroked his face, and he began to weep. 

Barry opened his tear filled eyes and quietly said to Raymond, “Jesus… it is Jesus that I’m looking for… that’s where I hope to find God’s glory…Jesus.” 

Raymond’s eyes seemed to be filled with loving approval, as he slowly put his hand on Barry’s shoulder and whispered, “Very good son…very good.” 

Barry dropped his head and quietly wept, as Raymond rubbed his shoulder.  After a few minutes Raymond asked, “What is it, son?” 

As Barry raised his head, he said, “I just want to see Him glorified in my life.” 

As Raymond looked deeply into his face, he replied, “Do you understand how rare that is?” 

Barry looked confused and said, “I thought you said that everyone on this train was seeking to glorify Him?” 

Raymond shook his head vigorously, “No, no I said that everyone was seeking His glory, not that they were seeking to glorify Him.” 

Still confused, Barry said, “I don’t understand, if it’s not to glorify Him, then what are they seeking His glory for?” 

“It can be different things with different people, but rest assured that His glory will expose the motivation of every heart.” 

For several minutes they rode quietly as a profound sense of God’s nearness resonated in Barry.  Suddenly, he was aware of the train slowing and Barry looked to Raymond for an explanation.  Raymond didn’t seem at all surprised and said, “We’re here.” 

“We’re where?” asked Barry. 

“At your stop,” he replied. 

“But I thought that you said that there were no more stops?” Barry said. 

“No, I said that there were no more scheduled stops.” 

As the train crept to a stand still, Raymond led Barry to the door of the railcar.  As they stepped into the warm outside air, Barry could see that there was no station, no platform, not even a marker.  The only thing that Barry saw was a dirt road that seemed to lead through the desert, to an empty horizon.

“What is this place?” asked Barry.

“It is the way,” he replied. 

“The way to what?” Barry continued. 

“The way to what you’re looking for.”

“I don’t understand, if this is the way to Jesus, then why is there no station or scheduled stop here?”

Raymond’s face grew serious as he replied, “Because the train is normally empty by the time we get this far.” 

A sense of wonder and grief washed over Barry, as he stared across the landscape.  “How will I know where to go?” 

“Stay on the road and you won’t be able to miss it,” replied Raymond. 

As Barry stepped off the train, he could feel the sandy soil shift beneath his feet and his eyes strained to look for any sign of life on the horizon.  Now that he was standing on it, Barry could see that the dirt road that cut across the desert was really just a narrow path that appeared to be perfectly straight and level.  He breathed a heavy sigh and turned to say farewell to Raymond, when he saw that he, the train, and even the tracks were gone.  There was no sign that they’d ever been there. 

Suddenly feeling very alone, Barry tried to console himself that this was probably a dream, but fear and discouragement began to well up inside of him.  He closed his eyes and prayed beneath his breath, “Help me, Lord Jesus, help me.”  This seemed to curb his apprehension some, and he slowly began down the path.

As Barry shuffled along, hunger, thirst and fatigue began to gnaw at him.  His mind began to drift back to the train and his conversations with Raymond.  He wondered if he’d made a mistake by not getting off the train sooner, but he quickly consoled himself with the thought that nothing was more worthy of his pursuit than Jesus. 

After several minutes of being lost in his thoughts, it occurred to Barry that he hadn’t checked the horizon for a while.  Without any real sense of expectation, he raised his eyes and glanced down the path.  To his surprise, he saw a wooden shed just a couple of hundred feet ahead of him.  His heart began to throb in his chest, as his anxiousness at not finding his way became anxiousness at what he might find.  He instinctively began to pray, “Help me, Lord Jesus, help me.”

The shed was the size of a small barn, with darkly stained, vertically mounted boards covering the outside.  The wooden-framed windows and the single entry door in the front gave it the appearance of an old general store, like the ones Barry had seen in pictures from the frontier days.  Though there was a large window near the front door, he could not clearly see what was inside. 

As he approached the door, he noticed an old paper sign in the lower corner of the window, which said, “Open, Please Come In.”  Even though he hadn’t seen any indication of life within the shed, the invitation of the sign helped to calm him some.  His hands trembled as he reached for the door, and he unconsciously held his breath as he stepped across the threshold into a large open room. 

The air within the room seemed cool and light, compared to the heavy warm air of the desert.  The interior of the room seemed dark because of the rich cherry-stained wood that covered the walls and floor.  The room had the appearance of a furniture gallery, with many different pieces of wooden furniture throughout.  Several of the pieces were beautifully stained and polished, with each piece taking on a different wood tone. 

In one corner of the room there were other pieces that appeared to be constructed of raw wood and not yet stained or finished.  The smell of wood stain and varnish filled the air.  Though Barry knew very little about woodworking, he sensed that these pieces were very special.  The atmosphere in the room heightened his sense of being invited and a fresh wave of peace washed over him as he slowly moved amongst the furniture.

Suddenly a voice from behind him said, “You’re here.”  Barry was startled by this break in the silence, and he quickly spun around to see a tall man standing in the doorway to what appeared to be a back room.  The man had on a sleeveless linen work shirt, long linen pants, and what appeared to be a tool belt around his waist.  Though he was not exceptionally large, he was powerfully built.  His bearded face was rugged but pleasant, and as Barry looked into his eyes, he immediately understood that this was Jesus. 

Along with this realization came a sense of awe that caused Barry to remain motionless and speechless.  His heart was filled with emotion and there were so many things that he wanted to express, but his mouth was as dry as the desert sand and he could not seem to move.  In his mind, he pictured himself falling at the Lord’s feet, but his body remained unresponsive.  Jesus seemed to understand his dilemma and said, “Here, why don’t you sit down,” as He pulled a chair away from a nearby table. 

Barry was embarrassed, and he felt as though he was underwater and moving in slow motion as he struggled to get to the chair.  He tried to muster a loud, clear voice, but his “thank you” came out in a whisper, as he came down heavily on the chair.  Jesus smiled knowingly and said, “Let me get you something to eat and drink.”  As He disappeared into the back room, Barry tried desperately to gather himself.

In what seemed to be a very short time, Jesus returned, carrying a tray with a glass pitcher of water, two water glasses and what smelled like a loaf of fresh bread.  Barry’s perceptions still seemed to be overwhelmed by the presence of the Lord, so he stared intently as Jesus poured them each a glass of water.  He studied Jesus’ strong hands as He placed the glass in front of him and said, “I’m glad that you’ve come.” 

Barry took the glass in his hand, nodded to Jesus and brought it to his lips, just as Jesus did.  As Barry began to drink, the cool fresh water seemed to touch every part of his inner being; a wave of joy and strength seemed to surge through him and his thirst was quenched in a way that he’d never experienced.  As he lowered the glass from his lips, he could perceive Jesus’ face with a clarity that he couldn’t before and he began to ache to be closer to Him.  He felt as though his soul was going to rip itself from his body in order to reach Jesus. 

He then took the loaf in His hands, pulling it into two pieces and reaching one of those pieces across the table to Barry.  Barry’s heart and eyes overflowed at the realization of what was happening between them.  He hesitated to take the bread as he pondered his unworthiness, but the Lord said, “take and eat this bread, it was made especially for you.”  Tears streamed down Barry’s face and his hands trembled as he took the bread. 

As with the water, they both raised the bread to their lips at the same time; and as Barry put the bread in his mouth, it once again seemed to go all through him.  A sensation that he imagined was something like swallowing burning candle wax moved through him; as the initial sense of burning quickly cooled and seemed to coat the inside of him.  He sensed a fullness and completeness within himself that he never could have imagined was possible. 

His eyes remained locked upon the Lord, and he once again found himself full of things that he wanted to say, yet unable to speak.  He thought of the little drummer boy, who wanted to give his best to the Lord, but felt as though he had nothing worthwhile to give.  The Lord’s eyes were filled with understanding as He asked, “do you know what the treasure of heaven is, for Me?”  Barry gave a shallow nod to indicate that he did not.  “It is your heart,” He said. 

The revelation of those words hit Barry like lightning, and in that instant, he remembered the Lord coming to walk with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day, the hurt in the Lords voice as He conveyed His unrequited desire to be Israel’s King, Jesus calling His disciples “friends”; and the day that he first knelt on the floor of the old Union Hall and told the Lord that he wanted to live for Him.  He profoundly understood how valuable his love was to the Lord and how immense the Lord’s love for him was. 

Waves of emotion swept through Barry – joy at the love of the Lord, shame at the imperfection of his love for the Lord, love and gratitude for his Savior, fear of the treason within his nature, warm security in the Lords sovereignty.  They all bubbled within him, though everything seemed to melt into tears of joy. 

Barry desired to express his love to the Lord, but all that came from his lips were the whispered words, “I am Yours, I am Yours.”  The Lord’s eyes blazed with love as He reached across the table and took Barry’s hands, saying “Yes, you are Mine.”  It was all more than Barry’s senses could process. 

He felt at once completely broken & yet wonderfully whole, totally inadequate & yet completely accepted, without any strength of his own & yet totally empowered.  He lowered his forehead onto Jesus’ outstretched forearms and wept without restraint as his heart continued to overflow.  After what seemed to be a long time, waves of peace began to wash over him, as the emotional intensity ebbed and he began to feel weightless.  In this quiet state of euphoria, he drifted into a deep and restful sleep.

Since this place seemed to exist outside of time, it was impossible to tell how long he had slept, but Barry felt completely refreshed when he awoke.  As he raised his head from the table, he looked longingly for Jesus, but he could sense that He was no longer there; though even the residue of His presence brought a sense of great peace. 

As he sat back in the chair, he noticed a small piece of paper on the table.   Picking it up, he saw that Jesus had written the words, “Please come again.”  His heart once again welled up with emotion and he smiled, saying “I will, Lord, I will.” 

Barry briefly wondered what to do next, but his profound sense of well being prevented him from worrying about it.  He slowly got up and took one last look around the room as he found himself wanting to remember everything about it.  With one final glance over his shoulder as he turned the doorknob, he stepped from the coolness of the room into the warm air of the desert. 

To his surprise, he found that the Glory Train was waiting for him just outside, and that the tracks that had disappeared earlier were now routed up to the shed as if it were a station.  Raymond was standing in the doorway to the passenger car with a big smile, and for the first time it occurred to Barry who He was. 

“Did you find what you were looking for?” asked Raymond. 

Barry smiled, and replied, “Like all of the other questions that you’ve asked me, you know the answer.” 

Raymond laughed and said, “Indeed, I do.  Are you ready to go home?” 

“Can I stay here?” he asked, with a knowing smile.

“No, there is much left to do,” replied Raymond.

“Then I guess I’m ready.”

Barry stepped onto the rail car and followed Raymond to their seats.  “Where is everyone?” he asked. 

“Well this train is still bound for glory, so everyone who missed this stop still has some traveling to do,” replied Raymond. 

“I guess I understand what you’re saying, but how will me going home be anymore glorious than this?” he asked. 

“Because it is Christ in you that is the hope of glory for the world,” answered Raymond. 

The train lurched forward and Barry sat quietly pondering what Raymond had said.  After a few minutes, he turned to Raymond and said, “thank you.” 

“For what?” asked Raymond. 

“For being my comforter and counselor and for guiding me to my destiny,” he answered. 

Raymond smiled and it appeared as though there were tears in his eyes as he said, “It is my pleasure.”  They sat silently for a few more minutes before Raymond said, “maybe you ought to get some rest, it’s a long way home.”  Barry nodded, and laid his head back against the seat.  Within a couple of minutes he was asleep.

He felt as though he’d just dozed off, when something fell on his feet and woke him.  He quickly looked down and realized that his Bible had slipped off his lap.  As he picked it up, he recognized that he was no longer on the train, but back on the bus.  He leaned back against his seat and stared out the window.  Somehow the Arizona desert didn’t seem so desolate anymore.  In fact, he could see that it was really quite beautiful in its own way.  The vastness of it seemed to stir a sense of endless possibility within him, and the long highway gave him a sense that he was heading toward his destiny. 

He wondered if what he’d experienced was a dream or a vision or some sort of out of body experience, but in the end he supposed that it really didn’t matter; because the truth of what he saw and felt was undeniable to him.  He understood that whatever his new life would bring, it would be Christ in him that would be the hope of glory.  After a few minutes of soaking in this blessed assurance, he decided to read his Bible for awhile.  As he opened the book, he saw a small piece of paper between the pages; pulling it out, he read the words, “Please come again.” 

Looking upward, he whispered, “I will, Lord, I will.”