Because our adversary is an identity thief we need to discern the difference between what is by design & what is a result of damage; between who we were made to be & who we’ve become instead. Only our Creator is able to guide us in this.
Posts Tagged ‘identity’
Thought for the Day – Design or Damage?
Posted in Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged creator, damage, design, discern, identity, identity thief on December 2, 2021| Leave a Comment »
Defining Moments
Posted in Commentaries, Opinions, tagged defining moment, identity, retrospect on November 25, 2019| Leave a Comment »
There is no doubt that life is a long journey, made up of a countless number of moments. Most of them, good or bad, eventually dissolve into a mist of vague memories. But there are others which distinguish themselves in such a way as to become watersheds, where the very flow of our lives can be altered. These instances ultimately come to define our journey, and often times can significantly impact the way we see ourselves and/or the way we are perceived by others. Such an occasion is commonly known as a “defining moment”. Just as significant as the moment itself, is how we interpret it in real time, and the lens through which we choose to view it in retrospect.
An example of interpretation can be found in an experience I had in elementary school. As the youngest of three boys, I struggled mightily in school, while my older brothers were both model students. My beleaguered parents were constantly being called in for Parent-Teacher conferences, which isn’t something they had to deal with previously. So when I managed to go for an entire 9 week period with no significant issues, and brought home a solid report card (A’s and B’s), they decided to reward me with a new Harlem Globetrotters lunchbox. All they were trying to do was acknowledge my progress and encourage me. Unfortunately, I was keenly aware that both my brothers had straight A’s on their report cards, and that they were getting nothing for their efforts. Thus, I interpreted my parent’s gift as an implicit acknowledgment that I was their stupid child, which completely diffused the virtue of their intent. Instead of encouraging me, the lunchbox became a symbol of my inadequacies.
This faulty reading of my parents gesture was rooted in both my habit of comparing myself to my older siblings, and the conclusion I had already drawn about myself, which was that I was in fact stupid. Because that was the lens through which I viewed the situation, it clearly colored my perception of reality. Though my parents never openly compared me to my brothers or belittled my intelligence, I felt woefully inadequate whenever I was around them, and thus I came to that judgment on my own.
There is no doubt that what we believe about ourselves is far more consequential than what others believe about us, and once we draw such a conclusion, it becomes nearly impossible for anyone else to change our mind. For me, it took becoming an adult, moving away from my family, and learning to stand on my own merits, before I could gain a new perspective.
While we are not in control of many of the things which befall us in life, we do bear some responsibility for how we choose to respond, and we do have a choice about which moments will ultimately define us. Remaining focused on the most painful moments of our lives, pursuing people who reject us, while ignoring those who value us, seeing ourselves through the lens of our greatest weaknesses and failures, holding on to bitterness and unforgiveness for those who’ve hurt us… are all recipes for misery. People will define us by whatever measure they choose to use, but they do not have the power to control how we define ourselves. When we blame everyone else for our present condition, we have unwittingly forfeited the power to change it.
No one gets through this life without some amount of adversity, pain, and struggle. We can see ourselves as a victim, or a survivor, or maybe even an overcomer. I believe that we have far more control over this than most of us understand. If we don’t like the moments that have defined us thus far, it is up to us to change our course. I have a sister-in-law who was once an addict, a convict, and judged by the courts to be an unfit parent. She made the decision to change her life, and though it took some time, she is now a sober, loving wife and mother, raising her family. Not long ago she was seen as being beyond help, but today, she is an inspiration. She is living proof that if you don’t like your story thus far, you can rewrite the ending.
Behind the Mirror
Posted in Free Verse / Poetry, tagged criticism, exaggerate, identity, insecurity, manipulate, taunt on March 20, 2019| Leave a Comment »
It is a blindness to the beauty, with a clarity on the flaws
It is the impulse to manipulate for what’s already been freely given
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It is the urge to compete with those who are dearest to us
It is the voice that taunts us from behind the mirror
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It is the compulsion to tear people down to what we unconsciously perceive to be our level
It is the willingness to trade our values for the approval of others
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It is the frequency that muffles every compliment, while amplifying the slightest criticism
It is the apprehension to speak for fear of sounding stupid
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It is the drive to control what was never ours to govern
It is the tendency to exaggerate our accomplishments, while denying our weaknesses
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It is the fear that if they really knew us, they wouldn’t love us
It is the unspoken sense that it would be better if we were someone else
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It is ultimately an identity thief
and
Its name is insecurity
Thought for the Day – Checking Your ID
Posted in Commentaries, Opinions, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged identity, slave to what other people say, slave to what other people think on October 15, 2018| Leave a Comment »
When you don’t know who you are, you unwittingly rely on others to show you, which ultimately turns you into a slave to what other people say and think about you.
Thought for the Day – Considering the Possibilities
Posted in Commentaries, Opinions, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged Father's love, identity, nearness of God's Spirit, position in Christ, significance on October 18, 2017| Leave a Comment »
If we could comprehend the significance of who we were created to be,
we wouldn’t be so prone to invest our identity in other things
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If we could understand the position we’ve been given in Christ,
we wouldn’t feel the need to fight our way to the front of the crowd
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If we could grasp the magnitude of what the Savior accomplished for us,
we would never need to be afraid of the future
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If we could accept what God says about us as truth,
we would be immune to the sharp and hurtful words that so often pierce us
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If we could fathom the depth of our Father’s love for us,
we wouldn’t be so willing to settle for superficial affections
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If we could discern the nearness of God’s Spirit,
we would never feel alone
Compare-Covet-Compete
Posted in Commentaries, tagged compare, comparison, compete, competition, covet, covetous, covetousness, envy, greed, identity, power struggles, strife on August 1, 2022| Leave a Comment »
Before we were in our mother’s womb, God knew us (Jer.1:5), which means that His intent, purpose, and calling were established independently of our parent’s DNA, the circumstances surrounding our physical conception, or the history of our family.
He not only made us in His image (Gen.1:27), but “pre-destined” us to be conformed to that image as well (2Cor.3:18). Scripture goes on to say that the steps of a righteous man are ordered by God (Psalm 37:23), that the days ordained for us are written in His book, before one of them comes to pass (Psalm 139:16), and that God is faithful to complete the good work that He has begun in us (Phil.1:6).
Within that framework, our identity, our value, our security, and ultimately our destiny were all meant to be completely derived from Him. This design was fully realized in His Son, Jesus Christ, and to the degree that we are willing to surrender our lives to that pattern, it can be manifest in us as well.
A catastrophic consequence of sin is that as we become disconnected from the person of God, we also lose our connection to these provisions, and thereby invest those aspects of our being in other things. Indeed, as originally conceived, Adam and Eve were naked, yet without shame (Gen.2:25), as they viewed themselves through the lens of the Lord’s affection. But upon eating of the fruit, they gained a new awareness that caused them to look at themselves, and each other with a different perspective (Gen.3:7). Nothing had actually changed, other than their perception.
Undoubtedly, this is where the poisons of comparison, covetous, and competition were first introduced, and mankind has grappled with them ever since. Within the first generation these toxins produced murderous effects (Gen.4:8), and like a swarm of locust, they have combined to devour just about every tender sprout of fellowship / community the church has endeavored to establish.
With Western culture essentially fueled by these elements (i.e. comparison, covetous, competition), they have seamlessly blended into our brand of Christianity, largely rendering the church (in the west) impotent, or at least incapable of healthy reproduction. Indeed, it seems doubtful that there is any standard within scripture that we have fallen shorter of than Christ’s assertion that the way people would be able to distinguish His disciples was by the way they loved one another (John 13:35).
In his letter to the Corinthians (1 Cor.12) Paul lays out God’s strategy for the body, with each part having a unique design, and purpose that work together for the greater good of the whole. Indeed, if these individual parts derived their identity and value from their Creator, they could work together in harmony, reveling in their distinct function. Sadly, Paul also forecasts the inevitable chaos that comes when the various parts begin to compare themselves to each other (versus 15-26).
Throughout scripture we see examples of the damaging effects of comparison, and Paul speaks directly of it in his letter to the Corinthians (2 Cor.10:12-18). When the Israelites compared themselves to the people living in Canaan, they judged themselves to be too weak (Num.13:33) to apprehend the promised lands. In Jesus’ parable of the workers in the vineyard, the workers hired at the beginning of the day compare their wages to those hired at the end of the day, and feel cheated, even though they had agreed to do the work for that price (Matt.20:1-16). And when Peter tried to compare the manner of death he was facing with how John might perish, he earned a strong rebuke from the Lord (John 21:20-23), who challenged, “What is that to you? You must follow me.”
The inescapable byproducts of comparison are covetousness, and competition, which also breed their own dire consequences. When Esau covets Jacobs stew, he willingly forfeits his birthright (Gen.25:29-33), and when David covets another man’s wife (Bathsheba), it leads to adultery, and murder (2 Sam.11:2-17). Even more damaging, when the nation of Israel covets an earthly king to lead them (1 Sam.8:4-21), they forsake the supernatural protection of their heavenly King.
Likewise, there are multiple gospel accounts of the discord resulting from various disciples jockeying for their heavenly positions (Matt.20:20-28, Mark 10:37-45), Saul’s murderous intent caused by the people’s praise of David (1 Samuel 18:8-11), and the fatal outcome of one brother’s offering being found acceptable, while the other’s was not (Gen.4:2-8).
Today, even relatively mature believers generally struggle to gather in any sort of meaningful way without falling into these same destructive patterns. Churches and ministries are infamously contaminated with envy, greed, intrigue, and power struggles. This constant strife is the antithesis of the destiny the Lord authored for His Bride.
And if sin is what separated us from our identity in Christ (including our value, security and destiny), then surely reconnecting with that identity is a critical part of our redemption. Paul speaks of this in various places within his writings, especially in Ephesians 4 (17-32). This “putting off” or “laying aside” the old self, in order to step into the fullness of Christ is a transformation rarely witnessed in Western Christianity, but it is the key to experiencing genuine freedom, and becoming effective ministers of the gospel.
It begins with taking our eyes off of each other, and our circumstances (2Cor.4:18), and fixing them on the One who is Lord (Heb.12:2). If real love is not proud, and does not boast; if it does not envy, and keeps no record, then there is no context in which it could ever be competitive. And until (or unless) God’s people manifest the genuine article, we have nothing to offer in Jesus’ name (1Corth.13).
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