The word, “triggered” has become a popular part of today’s vernacular, and is generally applied to anything that might cause one to become upset. But for the purposes of this discourse, I will use it in a very specific context, which is when in the midst of an experience that is happening in real time (i.e. right now) we make an emotional/intellectual/spiritual connection to an experience that has happened in the past. In such moments, the magnitude of our response can quickly escalate well beyond what seems reasonable for the current circumstance.
One of the clearest examples I can give of being “triggered” is something I witnessed while I was in the Navy. During those years, guys routinely messed with each other and rough-housed. One day, a big guy (John) snuck up on a smaller guy (Jim), and grabbed him from behind. Jim let out a blood curdling scream, and rammed John into a piece of machinery, causing him to let go. When John released him, Jim turned and furiously began to pummel John with his fists. Eventually, it took five guys to restrain Jim and keep him from killing John.
At the time, Jim’s reaction didn’t make any sense to us. But we later learned that his step-father had molested him for years, and that what he was experiencing at that moment wasn’t his friend playing a practical joke on him, he was reliving the terror of a little boy being raped by his step-father.
Though it is an extreme example, it drives home the seriousness of this phenomena. Our responses often seem inappropriate because we’re emotionally/spiritually connected to some other moment.
For those who consider themselves to be spiritual, and believe that there are actual forces of darkness at work against our souls, you can be sure that making these connections is a valuable tool of the enemy. By linking the two moments, the illusion that Jim was about to be ravaged eclipsed the reality that he wasn’t in any real danger. The enemy of our soul loves it when he can get us to react to an unreality, and if we choose to hold on to those emotions, it opens the door for that painful moment to turn into an altered perception of reality going forward.
An example of this would be a woman whose first husband was unfaithful to her. Years later, after marrying a more honest and loyal man, she still experiences feelings of hurt and anxiety whenever she sees him talking to another woman. On an intellectual level she can say that her second husband is nothing like the first. But emotionally, she continues to reconnect her past hurts with her present fears. The voice of the enemy tells her that all men will eventually cheat, and on some level, she believes it. Every time she hears of a man being unfaithful, the enemy reinforces the stronghold, “See, that’s just how men are”. Without healing, she might actually be the one to drive her second marriage to destruction.
The enemy’s ultimate prize is our identity, and as we accept that the hurts of the past are who we are as opposed to what happened to us, he gains a valuable stronghold that he can revisit again and again. When this happens, it doesn’t take a traumatic event to trigger strong emotions. It simply takes a mirror.
Our Creator stands at the ready to show us who we really are, but that type of healing requires a willingness to surrender our old identities.
Once in this “triggered” state, several common patterns emerge. Accompanying the magnified sense of current and past events is the tendency to vigorously defend the legitimacy of this heightened emotional state, to lash out at anyone who attempts to provide a more balanced perspective, to speak in definitives (e.g. they always do this, they never do that, nothing works, no one ever has…), and to project the characteristics/actions of an individual (or a few individuals) onto the entire group (e.g. men do this, women think that, that generation believes…).
Remaining in this condition for any appreciable amount of time can be like putting on a pair of sunglasses, as it begins to color every other thing we look at. If we feel disrespected, we begin to perceive disrespect in everything that goes on around us, even from people who don’t know us, and in situations that don’t involve us. All it takes is a spark in the right spot, and soon the whole forest can be ablaze.
We live in a culture that is filled with stimuli which are meant to provoke a reaction. Every day we are bombarded with images and words that are intended to incite some type of a response. If we don’t recognize the danger, and guard our hearts, we too will be tossed about on the waves of emotional / spiritual turmoil.
The enemy loves to exploit these moments, as heavy and lasting damage to relationships is often the outcome. Like Jim in the previous story, we can feel as though our very existence is threatened, and therefore act / speak in a way that is completely out of our normal character. Unfortunately, when the moment is over, and the emotions subside, the damage often remains. In the end, both Jim and John felt like they’d been attacked, and their friendship never recovered.
Being a gifted and genuine believer does not exempt a person from falling into this trap. Elijah had been ministering in the miraculous power of God for some time before Jezebel’s threat sent him running for the hills (1 Kings 19). Fresh off a spectacular showdown with the prophets of Baal, and even after the Lord literally shook the earth with His power, Elijah was convinced that he was the “only one” left, and wanted to die. The veil of his fear blinded him to the reality of seven thousand other believers who had not bowed to the god of the age.
The scriptures warn us not to focus on what is seen, because it is perishing (i.e. temporary). It exhorts us to take every thought captive, making it subject to Christ, and to fix our hearts on things above (i.e. eternal). It is vital that we discern the spirit which lurks behind the things that trigger our emotions and provoke us to wrath. We must learn to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. If not, we risk becoming enslaved by a hollow and deceptive philosophy which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.
The enemy of our souls has a story he’d like to share today. It’s a tale of frustration, failure, and pain. It’s a narrative filled with “if only’s” (e.g. if only this would happen, if only that hadn’t happened) which will always leave us one step away from wherever we want to be. The Creator of our souls also has a story He’d like to share today. It’s a plan of provision, strength and hope. It’s a narrative filled with “even if’s” (e.g. even if that happened, even if this never happens), which will free us from the constraints of our circumstance. Ultimately, the reality of our day will boil down to whose report we believe.
Bjcorbin's Blog 
Fitting In
Posted in Commentaries, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged apprehension, audience, compare, compete, conceal, concerto, covet, differences, embarassed, estrangement, facade, fit in, fitting in, five-fold, humiliation, identity, insecurity, jealousy, mindset, naked, puzzle, stronghold, subconscious, symphony, trauma, unique, unity on June 13, 2025| Leave a Comment »
Throughout my lifetime I have heard countless people attest to the fact that they feel as though they “never really fit it,” which is a sentiment that is generally greeted with a hearty chorus of amens. Even folks who seem to be popular and successful often profess to battling such feelings. Indeed, in all my years I’ve never encountered even one person claim the converse of this condition (i.e., I feel like I always “fit in”).
I’ve heard Psychologists assert that most people wrestle with the subconscious fear that, “if you really knew me, you wouldn’t love me,” and I sense that is probably truer than any of us would like to admit. There does seem to be a very human tendency to conceal and safeguard the inner most part of our being for fear of being rejected. Though some experience traumatic levels of rejection at a very young age, this apprehension seems to be prevalent even in those who haven’t.
Anxiety about other people truly knowing us tends to manifest itself as insecurity, which then becomes a breeding ground for covetous, competition, envy, manipulation, and strife. Needless to say, all of those dynamics are highly destructive in terms of our relationship to others, which greatly impedes our ability to function as a family, a community or as a body of believers. Given Jesus’ description of how people would be able to distinguish His followers (i.e., by their strong, loving relationships -John 13:35), this would seem to be a significant issue for those who are called by His name.
In praying about the root of this problem, I sense that it goes all the way back to the first man, and his decision in the garden. When Adam and Eve were walking in undeterred fellowship with the Father, they were aware of their nakedness, but they were unashamed (Gen.2:25). Yet immediately after eating the fruit, it says that their nakedness became a source of humiliation (Gen.3:7), and they felt the need to cover themselves.
Though the scripture doesn’t really describe these coverings, I sensed the Spirit clarify that they didn’t feel the need to cover their face, or hands, or legs… It was only the parts of them that looked different from each other that they felt compelled to conceal.
Prior to eating the” fruit of the knowledge of good and evil,” they viewed each other through the lens of the Father’s love, and were unashamed of their differences, but after the fall, they viewed each other through the context of their own senses, and were embarrassed by the things that made them unique.
Thus, mankind became mired in an endless cycle of comparison, covetousness, and competition, which turns out to be the antithesis of unity. This pattern became lethal within the first generation, as jealousy compelled Cain to murder his brother (Gen.4:8).
Considering that our Creator saw fit to make each one of His children a unique expression of Himself (Gen.1:27), and that Paul would later describe the Body of Christ as the coming together of all these distinctive aspects (1Cor.12:1-26), our apprehension at being vulnerable and genuine with one another is no doubt at the heart of our ineffectiveness in manifesting the body that the Lord described.
Our concept of “fitting in” seems to be predicated on the idea that we will be just like everyone else. So we tend to dress like the proverbial “them”, speak like them, and act like them, in the vain hope that we will find acceptance. But no two pieces of a puzzle are exactly alike, and if they were, a clear picture would not emerge at the end. I would suggest that we were not created to “fit in,” we were designed to “fit together”.
Yet, even if we come to recognize the power in diversity that potential can only be realized when each member of the group is willing to yield to the unique aspects of the others. The whole cannot partake of its rich variety of parts, if a singular element or elite grouping is allowed to dominate at the expense of the others.
Indeed, a clarinet was never meant to sound like a flute, and you actually need both to play the symphony as it was originally written. But you’re not likely to hear either of them if the brass continues to play beyond their prescribed stanzas.
Church models that promote some to be soloists, while making the remainder accompanists (or even worse, simply an audience) virtually ensure that we will never truly function as the body described in scripture (1Cor.12:12-20). Much of the new Apostolic movement has fallen into this trap, as they seek to elevate the position of a few, when the five-fold gifts were actually intended to cultivate the gifts of the many (Eph.4:12-13). Effective “Five-fold” ministry is when every member’s gift finds its place at the table (and every instrument is given its rightful place within the concerto).
Sadly, these mindsets (e.g., I never fit it, if you really knew me you wouldn’t love me…) have become strongholds within the body, and drive most people to willingly forfeit their seat within the orchestra. They will happily sit in the audience if it means that no one will ever truly see what is inside of them. And they will freely gather around someone else’s gifts, while their gifts go dormant.
There is little doubt that the enemy of our souls loves to stir our sense of alienation, so that we will willingly isolate ourselves from the group. It is a classic predator tactic. These feelings of estrangement are often at the emotional core of those who pursue and assume a completely new identity in the hope of finding a suitable new tribe (i.e., the place where they fit in).
Of course, the cost of pursuing a new identity is the identity that they were endowed with by their Creator, which tends to relentlessly haunt them in moments of quiet reflection. They suppose that no one can accept them for who they really are, when it is actually their innermost being that is rejecting this contrived facade.
If this compulsion to “fit in” and be like everyone else is a byproduct of mankind’s fall, then the antidote surely lies in returning to God’s original plan, which is to view ourselves and each other through the lens of the Father’s love (Psalm 139:14, John 13:34). Until we learn how to walk together in unity, by considering others before ourselves (Phil.2:3-4) and submitting to one another in love (Eph.5:21), we will not be able to experience the fullness the Lord authored for His Body (1Cor.12:12-20).
If we continue to fall into the snare of the compare-covet-compete dynamic, we will remain a house divided (Mark 3:25) and never step into the fulness that has been authored for us. For this, and so many other issues, the renewing of our minds (Rom.12:2) is at the heart of the “revival” we cry out for.
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