Bjcorbin's Blog

I had an interesting conversation with my kids, and some of their friends, over the weekend.  They had just come from their Homecoming dance, where they had been shocked by some of the blatant sexuality displayed on the dance floor.  When my daughter said that she’d lost respect for some of her peers, one of my son’s friends chided her, saying that he felt like that was “too harsh”, and that “everyone does it”.  I let them banter for a bit before jumping into the conversation, and eventually, it turned into a discussion about sex in general.

The first question I asked was, “is fire a good thing or a bad thing?”  After some discussion, they decided it could be good or bad, depending on the situation.  “That’s right,” I affirmed,, “people want to over simplify things as either good, or bad, but the truth is that most things can go either way.”  “Fire in your fireplace can be great, but fire on your roof is not so good.”  “But what about a fire in your fireplace on a 90 degree day” I added.  They collectively agreed that wouldn’t be good either.  “Right again,” I said.  “There is not only a proper place for fire, but there’s also a proper time for it.”  Finally, I asked, “So would there be any problem with letting a 5 year old light the fire in the fireplace?”  Not surprisingly, they all agreed that wouldn’t be a very good idea.  “Indeed,” I replied.  “While a 5 year old might possess the hand-eye coordination for the task, it is unlikely that they would have an adequate understanding of the dangers involved with fire to do the job safely.” 

With that foundation laid, I steered the conversation back to the topic at hand.  “Sex is just like fire.  Sex was God’s idea, and when we follow His blueprint, it is very good.  He not only gave us the gift of sex, He also gave us the context in which it would be a great blessing to us.  But sex in the wrong context (i.e. in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong people) can be just like fire on your roof – dangerous and destructive.  I believe that departing from that context has led to much of the perversion, dysfunction and destruction that have become so prevalent in our society.  Additionally, just because someone is old enough to have functioning sexual organs doesn’t mean that they have developed the maturity to safely handle such a relationship.  You guys are growing up in a culture that has largely determined that sex is good, and that having the necessary equipment qualifies you to join the party; but I can promise you that both of those philosophies are wrong.  I challenge you to watch those kids who’ve embraced that mentality, and see if you don’t start noticing smoke coming from the rooftops of their lives (e.g. depression, alcohol, cutting, drugs, suicidal thoughts…).”

While I believe that this was ultimately a positive discourse, I have a feeling that my kid’s friends are going to quit asking me for rides.