Posts Tagged ‘sex’


  1. Convenience – Our culture is absolutely obsessed with making everything fast, easy, and achievable with the touch of a button.  We have an “app” for just about anything you can think of, and a huge amount of an average person’s life is channeled through their electronic devices.  But with every advance in this direction, we become less tolerant of things that require any sort of sustained effort on our part, or things that take time.  We also become more dependent on the technology for even the most basic of functions.  Given the fact that life is a long journey, which requires genuine determination, perseverance and patience, this trend doesn’t bode well for our future.
  2. Sex – Without a doubt, sex is meant to be one of life’s great pleasures, but just as doubtless, there is a context within which it was meant to fit in our lives.  In the decades since the “Sexual Revolution” began, our culture has found ways to inject sex into all sorts of settings, circumstances, and contexts where it doesn’t belong.  This has not only resulted in confusion and dysfunction, for many it has reduced sex to nothing more than a bodily function.  That’s sad, because it was intended to be so much more.
  3. Stardom – The insatiable craving for notoriety within our culture continues to fill our screens (both large and small) with images of people willing to eat bugs, wife swap, gender swap, submit themselves to tortuous circumstances, fix bad tattoos, torment their kid on the pageant circuit, wrestle alligators/snapping turtles/wolverines, bully their wedding planner, search for bigfoot…  And all of this has created a new breed of star that includes people like the “Reality TV Star”, and the “You-Tube Star”.  Most of these folks are not known for a specific talent, or some meaningful contribution to society, they’re simply famous for being famous (e.g. the Kardashians); which somehow manages to take the superficiality of “fame and fortune” to a whole new level.
  4. SWAG – Though the exact meaning of this term continues to evolve, it comes from the word “swagger”.  And it refers to a person’s attitude, self-image, and self-confidence.  Sadly, for the emerging generation, this confidence doesn’t necessarily need to be rooted in any sort of reality.  With a steady diet of trash talk, and brash posturing, one’s “SWAG” is often just an alter-ego (i.e. the person they wish they were or imagine they will become), and ultimately how they choose to market themselves to the world.  In such cases, life has a way of reducing these facades to rubble (e.g. OJ Simpson, Allen Iverson, Tiger Woods, Lindsay Lohan…).
  5. Self – This is the age of the “Selfie”, where people spend countless hours each day broadcasting their “status”, their reactions, their opinions, pictures of themselves, pictures of their food, videos of themselves…  And while a certain amount of that can be relatively harmless, the cumulative effect is that it keeps most people focused on themselves, and on what everyone else is thinking & saying.  Ultimately, the most miserable life that one can lead is one that is all about themselves.

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I had an interesting conversation with my kids, and some of their friends, over the weekend.  They had just come from their Homecoming dance, where they had been shocked by some of the blatant sexuality displayed on the dance floor.  When my daughter said that she’d lost respect for some of her peers, one of my son’s friends chided her, saying that he felt like that was “too harsh”, and that “everyone does it”.  I let them banter for a bit before jumping into the conversation, and eventually, it turned into a discussion about sex in general.


The first question I asked was, “is fire a good thing or a bad thing?”  After some discussion, they decided it could be good or bad, depending on the situation.  “That’s right,” I affirmed,, “people want to over simplify things as either good, or bad, but the truth is that most things can go either way.”  “Fire in your fireplace can be great, but fire on your roof is not so good.”  “But what about a fire in your fireplace on a 90 degree day” I added.  They collectively agreed that wouldn’t be good either.  “Right again,” I said.  “There is not only a proper place for fire, but there’s also a proper time for it.”  Finally, I asked, “So would there be any problem with letting a 5 year old light the fire in the fireplace?”  Not surprisingly, they all agreed that wouldn’t be a very good idea.  “Indeed,” I replied.  “While a 5 year old might possess the hand-eye coordination for the task, it is unlikely that they would have an adequate understanding of the dangers involved with fire to do the job safely.” 


With that foundation laid, I steered the conversation back to the topic at hand.  “Sex is just like fire.  Sex was God’s idea, and when we follow His blueprint, it is very good.  He not only gave us the gift of sex, He also gave us the context in which it would be a great blessing to us.  But sex in the wrong context (i.e. in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong people) can be just like fire on your roof – dangerous and destructive.  I believe that departing from that context has led to much of the perversion, dysfunction and destruction that have become so prevalent in our society.  Additionally, just because someone is old enough to have functioning sexual organs doesn’t mean that they have developed the maturity to safely handle such a relationship.  You guys are growing up in a culture that has largely determined that sex is good, and that having the necessary equipment qualifies you to join the party; but I can promise you that both of those philosophies are wrong.  I challenge you to watch those kids who’ve embraced that mentality, and see if you don’t start noticing smoke coming from the rooftops of their lives (e.g. depression, alcohol, cutting, drugs, suicidal thoughts…).”


While I believe that this was ultimately a positive discourse, I have a feeling that my kid’s friends are going to quit asking me for rides.

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