The problem with finding a perfect church is that none of us would be qualified to attend there.
Archive for the ‘Commentaries’ Category
Thought for the Day – A Perfect Church
Posted in Commentaries, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged perfect church on March 15, 2015| 1 Comment »
Thought for the Day – Criticism
Posted in Commentaries, Personal, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged accusing, complaining, criticism, rationalizing on January 28, 2015| 2 Comments »
Recently, an associate of mine shared some negative perceptions that they’d heard others express about me in the workplace. And while it’s never pleasant to hear that bad things are being said about you, I believe that my co-worker’s intent was to genuinely help me. Undoubtedly, receiving criticism can be very challenging, and I must admit that I’ve cycled through a range of emotions. Part of me wants to make the case that these folks really haven’t taken the time to get to know me, and part of me wants to explain that I’ve been placed in a somewhat precarious job position in recent years. Yet another part wants to be offended, and to vehemently deny that there is any truth to these viewpoints. But ultimately, all of those actions would prove to be counterproductive.
When I take a deep breath, and try to look at things objectively, I can understand how someone, who has only seen me in my current job context, might draw some negative conclusions about me, and my work ethic. Though I don’t feel that these are representative of who I really am, or what I’m capable of, I do have to accept some ownership of the fact that my handling of this situation has not been sufficient to quell these unflattering perceptions. I guess I have to ask myself, “Can I do more?” or “Can I do better?” And the answer to those questions is “Yes, I can.” So instead of defending, accusing, rationalizing, stewing, or complaining, I just need to step up, and prove these criticisms to be invalid.
These folks are not particularly interested in my almost 25 years of performance at the plant, they want to know what I did yesterday, and what I’m going to do for them tomorrow. Generally, that’s how real life works.
A Driver, An Actor, and the Ability to Speak Chinese
Posted in Commentaries, Parenting / Family, Thought for the Day / Quotes, Word Pictures, tagged coaching young people, Little League Coach, Middle School Coach on January 3, 2015| Leave a Comment »
Being an auto mechanic isn’t necessarily a prerequisite for being a race car driver. Indeed they are two distinct skill sets. But without a fundamental understanding of how a high performance automobile works, a driver’s competitiveness is likely to result in shredded tires, overheated brakes, locked-up transmissions, and/or blown engines. And so it is for coaches, especially those who work with players who are in their formative years. The Little League coach, who thoroughly understands baseball, but knows little about the capabilities of 8 & 9 year old boys, or the Middle School volleyball coach who knows bump/set/spike, but has no understanding of the capacities of 12 & 13 year old girls, is bound to struggle and become highly frustrated. In these instances the player is the vehicle through which the game is played, and a coach who lacks insight into their inner workings is likely to cause damage in the pursuit of victory. With this in mind, I would suggest that the evaluation process for coaches who work with young people needs to look beyond the individual’s knowledge of the game. As a parent, I would submit that a coaches ability to effectively connect with their players is far more important than their expertise in the given sport. On the surface, a great Shakespearean actor may seem well qualified to teach a simple university drama class, but if that university is located in Beijing, and the actor doesn’t speak Chinese, their legitimate expertise may be rendered useless.
Thought for the Day – Secular Activities
Posted in Commentaries, Opinions, Parenting / Family, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged secular activities on November 23, 2014| 2 Comments »
Earlier this week, our three youngest children were recognized for their participation in a Fall sport at the high school (i.e. Patrick & AJ – football, and Bekah – volleyball), as well as their appearance on the school’s Honor Roll for the 1st grading period. For us, their distinction as “Scholar Athletes” is a special achievement, because it indicates that they are balancing the demands of both the classroom and the playing field. As proud as we are of these things, I am also mindful of the criticism that we’ve received as “Christian” parents, for allowing our kids to be so involved in these “secular” activities. After all, both practices and games have, and will, continue to conflict with church activities; and our involvement as parents will continue to compete for our time and resources. For some, this would seem to be unspiritual, worldly, and a distraction from the things of God. But I would beg to differ.
There was a time in our lives when we, and often times our kids, were at the church three or four nights a week. Our whole life centered around it, and we certainly wouldn’t have let anything as trivial as a ball game take precedence over it. In those days our concept of holiness hinged on being set apart from the world, and what we would have called, “ministry” went on within the four walls of the church. We home schooled the kids with Christian based curriculum, and wouldn’t allow cable television in our house. Now, let me preface the rest of this thought with the disclaimer, that none of these things, in and of themselves, is bad or wrong. If you, or someone you love, has felt led to do these things, by all means follow that leading. I’m not even saying that it was wrong for us in that season of life. But after a while, the Lord began to push us in a new direction. He showed us that the people He wanted to reach weren’t likely to set foot in the church, and that we would not be a credible voice to them by simply showing up on their doorstep one day. As I looked around, I realized that I didn’t even know my own neighbors, because we were always too busy with church stuff. The Lord also impressed upon me that our connection to the institution that we called, “church”, should not, and could not be a substitute for our connection to Him. While I’d grown up with the idea that the church building was “God’s house”, I now understood that He actually dwelled inside of me; and that it is “Christ in Me” that is the “hope of glory”. In this, I could see that holiness wasn’t simply separating myself from the world, it was actually separating myself unto God and His purposes; which actually includes engaging the world, and the people in it. I further understood that if this is true for me, it must also be true for my kids.
I also started to recognize that our job as parents wasn’t just to protect our kids, but to prepare them for the life that God was calling them to. While the thought of raising them as hothouse flowers (i.e. in a filtered & controlled environment) was appealing, it was hard not to wonder whether they would survive their inevitable transplant into the garden of real life. I had to admit that the thought of allowing them to swim in the murky waters of a troubled world was pretty daunting. But if you know that someone is destined to live in the ocean, the sooner you can acclimate them to water, the better.
All of this amounted to a revolution in the way we approached our day to day business. Church stopped being the place we went to feel connected to God, and simply became a place to gather with other believers as we endeavored to integrate Him into every other facet of our lives. While that gathering remains a source of inspiration, encouragement and accountability, it is by no means our source for God’s interaction in our lives. Over time, our schedule has included less and less church based activities, and more time spent with people who don’t know Jesus. And as such, we’ve become more like real neighbors and less like visitors from the holy land. This is not meant as a slight or to disparage our church family, or our pastor. We are blessed to be a part of a great congregation of brothers and sisters, with a wonderful Christ-like Pastor, and a teen ministry that’s touching the lives of our kids. The point is that these things are simply meant to undergird the mission, which is ultimately to be salt and light to a world in need of hope.
Finally, there is the issue of sports itself. Again, many would view this as a purely secular and/or recreational activity, but we tend to look at it as training for real life. While some might argue that it is academics that prepare a child for adulthood, I would submit that life is much more like an arena than a schoolroom. The classroom is a controlled environment, with a script (i.e. established curriculum), a clear standard for success, and where the individual can flourish based on their own merit; while the playing field is often chaotic, and prone to sudden unexpected changes. It’s a place where strategies often have to be adjusted in the middle of the game, and where we frequently are forced to rely on others in order to reach a place of victory. I have found that those who only excel on an academic level, often find the non-linear and unscripted nature of life to be overwhelming.
It is not the sport itself that is virtuous, it is the heart of the athlete that dictates the value of the game. If one simply participates for their own glory and edification, there is little to be derived. But when one embraces the challenges of commitment, self-discipline, sacrifice, preparation, endurance, teamwork, and execution, it can be fraught with benefits. If nothing else, simply being involved in, and representing, something bigger than yourself can be of great value. While it seems unlikely that our kids will play sports beyond this high school level, I can revel in the manifestations of these worthwhile characteristics in them. They are all virtues which the scripture endorses.
In the end, it’s what’s going on inside of our hearts that will determine the eternal value of how we choose to spend our time. Allowing the kids to participate in these programs has not only made them stronger, it has connected us to our community in a way that we weren’t, and created a myriad of opportunities to share the love of Christ. Whether it’s grabbing a burger for a kid who has no money for food, or buying a Gatorade for a thirsty player, or sharing a blanket/poncho/umbrella when the weather’s bad, or giving a kid a ride home, or encouraging a player/coach when things don’t go well, or praising them when they do well, or telling another parent how great their kid is, or watching one of my kids initiate team prayer, or any one of a thousand other things, we have found that the playing field is a fertile field for fulfilling God’s purposes.
When asked about the apparent conflict between his athletic career and his missions work, the famous Scottish Missionary and Olympian, Eric Liddell was quoted as saying, “When I run I feel His (i.e. God’s) pleasure”. I would submit that this was because being a runner was part of who God had made him to be. Similarly, as we’ve stepped out into our community, and embraced our role as a conduit for God’s love, we have experienced that same pleasure. For those who will follow the leading of God’s Spirit, there is no such thing as a genuinely “secular” activity.
Thought for the Day – The Roof is on Fire
Posted in Commentaries, Parenting / Family, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged sex on October 14, 2014| 4 Comments »
I had an interesting conversation with my kids, and some of their friends, over the weekend. They had just come from their Homecoming dance, where they had been shocked by some of the blatant sexuality displayed on the dance floor. When my daughter said that she’d lost respect for some of her peers, one of my son’s friends chided her, saying that he felt like that was “too harsh”, and that “everyone does it”. I let them banter for a bit before jumping into the conversation, and eventually, it turned into a discussion about sex in general.
The first question I asked was, “is fire a good thing or a bad thing?” After some discussion, they decided it could be good or bad, depending on the situation. “That’s right,” I affirmed,, “people want to over simplify things as either good, or bad, but the truth is that most things can go either way.” “Fire in your fireplace can be great, but fire on your roof is not so good.” “But what about a fire in your fireplace on a 90 degree day” I added. They collectively agreed that wouldn’t be good either. “Right again,” I said. “There is not only a proper place for fire, but there’s also a proper time for it.” Finally, I asked, “So would there be any problem with letting a 5 year old light the fire in the fireplace?” Not surprisingly, they all agreed that wouldn’t be a very good idea. “Indeed,” I replied. “While a 5 year old might possess the hand-eye coordination for the task, it is unlikely that they would have an adequate understanding of the dangers involved with fire to do the job safely.”
With that foundation laid, I steered the conversation back to the topic at hand. “Sex is just like fire. Sex was God’s idea, and when we follow His blueprint, it is very good. He not only gave us the gift of sex, He also gave us the context in which it would be a great blessing to us. But sex in the wrong context (i.e. in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong people) can be just like fire on your roof – dangerous and destructive. I believe that departing from that context has led to much of the perversion, dysfunction and destruction that have become so prevalent in our society. Additionally, just because someone is old enough to have functioning sexual organs doesn’t mean that they have developed the maturity to safely handle such a relationship. You guys are growing up in a culture that has largely determined that sex is good, and that having the necessary equipment qualifies you to join the party; but I can promise you that both of those philosophies are wrong. I challenge you to watch those kids who’ve embraced that mentality, and see if you don’t start noticing smoke coming from the rooftops of their lives (e.g. depression, alcohol, cutting, drugs, suicidal thoughts…).”
While I believe that this was ultimately a positive discourse, I have a feeling that my kid’s friends are going to quit asking me for rides.
Thought for the Day – Fragile Consolation
Posted in Commentaries, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged blessings, difficult circumstance, harsh word on October 12, 2014| 2 Comments »
It is a perverse feature of human nature that the consolation of a thousand blessings can be so easily stolen by one harsh word, or difficult circumstance.
Thought for the Day – Racist Tendencies
Posted in Commentaries, Opinions, Social / Political, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged middle aged white men, racism, racist on March 17, 2015| Leave a Comment »
The person who presumes that all middle aged white men harbor some secret racist agenda renders themselves guilty of that accusation.
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