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15 Thoughts for the Graduates of 2015

Posted in Commentaries, Lists, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2015| Leave a Comment »

 

There is an old saying that goes something like, “I wish I knew back then what I know now”.  And as I look back to my own graduation, here are some of those things I wish I had understood.

 

  1. Life is not a ride, it’s a journey.  A ride is simply being carried along to wherever the vehicle happens to be going, while a journey has an ultimate destination, which requires some navigation and effort to complete.  Unless we purpose in our heart to be someone, or to do something, we are likely to live life like a pinball; propelled by gravity and bouncing from one obstacle to another.  Anything worthwhile in life will require some investment on our part.  Those who are unwilling to make such an investment will generally be pushed along by the winds of circumstance to some uncertain end.

 

  1. Not everyone who agrees with you is for you, and not everyone who disagrees with you is against you. In this era of political correctness openly disagreeing with someone is often viewed as being “intolerant” of their beliefs.  But there are times when caring for a person dictates that we confront and contradict them.  Conversely, there are those who are perfectly willing to allow you to drive headlong into disaster, as long as it serves their own selfish agenda.

 

  1. Misery not only loves company, it wants to settle down and have children too.  I’ve noticed that miserable people not only seek out other miserable people to bond with, but that they’ll often unconsciously sabotage anything that has the potential to pull them from their misery.  There are few emotions that are as debilitating and self-sustaining as self-pity.  Generally, the only way to remain free of such feelings is through a dogged determination not to live that way.  As long as we are willing to blame other people, and circumstances, for our condition, we will remain powerless to change it.

 

  1. What other people believe about you isn’t as important as what you believe about yourself. Only the things which we genuinely believe have the ability to impact how we live.  Therefore, the only words (positive or negative) that have the power to move us are those which we accept as truth.  If a man concludes that he is a failure, no amount of praise or encouragement can bring him to victory; and if a man concludes that he is an over-comer, no amount of criticism can hold him back.  While we are generally powerless to keep others from speaking about us, we possess the ultimate responsibility for what we are willing to accept as truth.

 

  1. Planting apple seeds won’t get you an orange tree. Just as dependable as the law of gravity is the concept that we will reap (i.e. harvest) what we sow (i.e. plant).  Though this phrase is immediately recognizable to most people, there are few who actually live as though it were true.  Our human nature will often cause us to be unforgiving with other people, while expecting generosity in return; to be deceptive about our motivations, while expecting others to deal with us honestly; and to be selfish about our desires, while expecting others to be considerate of us.  We must always remain conscious of the fact that the cup we use to dispense blessing is the cup that we will eventually drink our blessings from.

 

  1. For everything there is a season and it’s important not to despise the season that you’re in.  If you live long enough you notice that there is a sort of pattern that life follows and that things come and go in seasons.  While we have a natural tendency to like some seasons better than others, I’ve found that every season comes with both challenges and blessings.  If we focus on the challenges of the season we’re in, we’ll often miss the blessings, and spend our time pining away for the season to change.  Conversely, if we focus on the blessings of each season, it makes the challenges easier to endure, and brings a sense of variety to the journey.

 

  1. It’s doubtful that anyone is really “out to get you”. Generally, a person has to be of significant consequence before someone is willing to invest the time and energy it takes to conspire against them.  I would suggest that we are more often damaged because people aren’t considerate of our position than we are because people have made a conscious effort to hurt us.  Though this knowledge doesn’t necessarily dampen the pain, it should aid in our endeavor to forgive.

 

  1. When you keep your own score, you always feel as though you’re losing. The problem with keeping score is that we naturally tend to under-appreciate our blessings, and to have an exaggerated sense of our hardships.  Because of that, people who keep score in life generally feel as though they’re never quite being given their due.  Ultimately, it’s better to just give our best in any given situation and to let someone else keep the scorecard.

 

  1. The path of least resistance is rarely a road worth taking.  Often what causes something to be valuable is that it cannot be easily attained.  It follows then that the most valuable things in life normally require some perseverance to apprehend.  While everyone may sincerely want these kinds of things for their life (e.g. a healthy body, a strong marriage, a successful career…), few are willing to endure the process it takes to secure them.  Unfortunately, we live in a culture that increasingly values convenience above quality, and in which many of our children have grown up with an expectation of the instant gratification of their desires. Many a parent has worked hard to ensure that their kids get a great education, so that these children won’t have to struggle like they did.  But this ignores the fact that it is in the midst of the struggle that we tend to develop our character and work ethic; and that without this development we are generally ill equipped to handle adversity.  I’ve found that you can teach someone with character and work ethic just about anything, but without those qualities, an education becomes of little value.  I’ve also come to believe that giving my children everything that I didn’t have when I grew up will likely handicap them for life.

 

  1. There are few jobs easier than being a critic and few that are more taxing than being a builder. I’m ashamed to admit that there have been times in my life when I’ve been like the guy who sits in the back of the classroom, ridiculing the person who’s teaching the class.  Playing the role of critic, while someone sincerely tries to have a positive influence on the people around them.  While I might try to rationalize that their efforts were less than perfect, or maybe even in vain, life has taught me how little that criticism helps anyone.  It takes a tremendous amount of effort and patience to bring unity where there has only been division, or to stir a group to battle, when they’ve only known defeat, or to restore a sense of hope to a place of desolation…  The builder must make a concerted effort to create, while the critic can bring destruction with little effort.  As a witness to, and a participant in, both of these processes, I’ve committed myself to spending the rest of my days being engaged in the building up and not the tearing down.

 

  1. It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.  Experience teaches us that the road to victory is generally paved with some amount of defeat; and that how we respond to those defeats will generally determine whether or not we ever come to the place of victory.   While victory tends to be the goal of every player, I’ve found that what we remember is how they played the game.  It is not necessarily the player with the highest winning percentage that captures our imagination, it is the player who played unselfishly, or with integrity, or who overcame the biggest odds…  Even for those who taste great victory, it is always in a moment that quickly passes into a lifetime of other moments.  At the moment we pass from this life, it won’t be that moment of glory that matters most; it will be how we lived all the other moments that ultimately defines us.

 

  1. It’s hard to be Clint Eastwood if you’re really Mr. Rogers. As I was growing up my conception of what a man was came largely from my father, who was a big fan of men like John Wayne and Clint Eastwood.   Throughout my adolescence there were other icons (e.g. John Travolta – Saturday Night Fever, Sly Stallone – Rambo, Don Johnson – Miami Vice…) who seemed to collectively shape the culture’s conception of manhood, and who I unconsciously graded myself against.  Since I was nothing like these men I assumed that I just wasn’t much of a man, and in subtle ways I let their image affect how I walked, talked, dressed…  But as I got older I began to notice that there weren’t many things less attractive than someone trying to be something that they’re not (e.g. a middle aged woman dressed like teenager; a suburban white kid acting as though he grew up in the ghetto; a man with a bad toupee, acting as though it is his natural hair…).  I eventually came to peace with the understanding that regardless of the fact that I bear little or no resemblance to the trendy cultural images of manhood, the best thing I could do was to be myself.  That catharsis has  allowed me to do things like wear the clothes that I feel comfortable in; to act silly in public, just to make my kids laugh; to say “I love you too honey” when I hang up the phone in front of someone; to cry at sad movies…, all without feeling self-conscious.  I highly recommend it.

 

  1. Love grows over time. We live in a society that seems affixed on the idea of trading in and up, on an almost constant basis (e.g. cellphones, computers, cars, houses…); and that basic philosophy carries into our relationships as well.  Most of our cultural allusions toward love seem centered on initial attraction and the titillation of something new; but that is ultimately the shallow end of the relationship pool.  It isn’t until you’ve experienced a love that lasts for years that you come to understand the depth and profound fulfillment that accompanies it.  This same aesthetic applies to friendships as well (i.e. I wouldn’t trade a few old friends for 500 “friends” on Facebook).

 

  1. No person or thing can “make you happy”.  People can support us, love us, inspire us, and even enhance the quality of our life.  But unless we determine within ourselves to find the joy, the beauty and the hope within our given circumstance, we will never be “happy”. The idea that it is someone else’s role to bring happiness into our life places tremendous pressure on our relationships, often causing them to fail (e.g. they just don’t make me happy anymore…).  Similarly, material things do not have the ability to bring satisfaction to our souls.  I’ve noticed that people, who can be grateful for what they have today, will generally be that way regardless of what they have.  And that people, who crave something more, will normally continue to crave regardless of what they get.

 

  1. The best things in life cannot be held in our hands or necessarily even be seen. A young person’s dreams are often rooted in tangible gains, like a mate, income, a career, a family, a home…  But as a person attains those kinds of things, values seem to shift from the tangible to the transcendent.  At the end of a long life, it is things like friendship, faith, love and hope that are ultimately treasured.

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10 Habits That Lead to Misery

Posted in Commentaries, Lists, tagged , , , , , , , on January 28, 2015| 4 Comments »

  1. Worrying about things you cannot change: Truth be told, there is very little in this life that we have direct control over, and worrying about things we cannot change is like trying to push over trees in a petrified forest.
  2. Assuming the worst about people: There is good and bad in every person.  If we look for the bad, we will find it; and if we speak to the bad, it will speak back to us.  (Note:  It works the same way for the good in people.)
  3. Talking with other miserable people about the things that make you miserable: Indeed, misery does love company, and while there can be some minor relief involved in “venting” our frustration, commiserating generally keeps both parties firmly stuck in the mud.
  4. Refusing to believe in moral victories: It’s popular in our culture to say things like, “there’s no such thing as a moral victory”, which is supposed to let everyone know that the person saying this is a “winner”.  But real life doesn’t play out that way.  Most of us can ill-afford to miss the joy of the little victories in our lives (e.g. our kid catching the fly ball, or getting a big hit, even though their team ultimately loses the game), as we holdout for some mythical trophy that will likely never appear.  A key to genuine happiness is finding the value and beauty, even in the most difficult moments.
  5. Constantly striving for something “more”: While many might try to rationalize this as being “goal-oriented”, constant craving is actually a torment (akin to dying of thirst in the desert).  Within this pattern, the act of apprehending a goal immediately destroys its value (i.e. “Been there, done that, got the t-shirt”).  People who always want more will forever remain one step away from satisfaction.
  6. Sharing your inner most feelings, thoughts, opinions, reactions and dreams on social media: The problem with this pattern is three-fold.  First, it tends to keep a person self-absorbed, as they constantly have to review and evaluate their “status”.  Secondly, it tends to stir up offense toward anyone who might disagree with (or “dislike”) their status.  And finally, it too often gives untrustworthy people access to information that they should never have.
  7. Frequently looking back and second guessing the choices you’ve made: We don’t know what we don’t know, and looking back with the benefit of hindsight totally changes the context of a decision.  Too often we idealize what might have happened had we taken a different path; not accounting for all the unforeseen ramifications that may have accompanied such a choice (e.g. George Bailey in “It’s a Wonderful Life”).
  8. Taking it upon yourself to hold other people accountable for their failures: Trying to act as another persons conscious is exhausting, and keeps us in a mode of constantly finding fault.  It makes people want to avoid you, and to point out your faults to you.
  9. Studying yourself in the mirror: Considering the commonality of eating disorders, drug addiction, and cosmetic surgeries amongst those considered to be the most beautiful within our culture (e.g. super models), it seems that no one is ever really satisfied with what they see in the mirror.  Even those rare few who might be enamored of their own reflection for a period of time eventually become a slave to maintaining that image.  Ultimately, the quality of our lives will be dictated by what lies beneath our skin (i.e. our heart, mind, soul, and spirit).
  10. Using the negative things people have said about you as motivation: While I realize that people like Michael Jordan have used this approach to accomplish great things, I’d submit that holding on to anger is poison to the soul, and that it sucks the joy out of even the most dazzling achievement.

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10 Surprising Albums

Posted in Entertainment/Music/Sports, Lists, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 25, 2015| Leave a Comment »

1. Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin: Originally hired as a bassist for the popular English band, “The Yardbirds”, Jimmy Page eventually came to share guitar duties with the legendary Jeff Beck. But as the group began to unravel, Page attempted to put together a new lineup, and tour as, “The New Yardbirds”. Allegedly, John Entwistle of “The Who” joked that this new band was going to go down like a lead balloon, so when the original band members forbade Page to use the Yardbirds name, “Led Zeppelin” was born. Despite the bumpy transition, Led Zeppelin’s debut album was an immediate success, and went on to become a rock classic.
2. Achtung Baby – U2: From the band’s debut album, “Boy” (released in 1980) until their classic 1987 release, “The Joshua Tree”, U2 had experienced a steady rise in both artistic and commercial success. It wasn’t until the release of their 1988 documentary, “Rattle and Hum”, that the band received its first notable criticism, with some describing it as, “bombastic” and “overly pretentious”. Disillusioned by the music industry in general, and bored with what had become their signature sound, the group’s 1991 album, “Achtung Baby” was a radical departure in almost every way.
3. Off the Wall – Michael Jackson: The Jackson Five’s departure from Motown records in 1975 seemed to mark the end of an era. Though the group continued to tour and release records, their popularity steadily dwindled. Because Michael was the main songwriter, and focal point of the band, there was no reason to believe that a new solo record would do much to change that trend. But the 1979 release of the album, “Off the Wall” set off a new era of stardom for the singer that eventually eclipsed everything that had come before it. An artistic leap forward, it laid the foundation for the phenomenal “Thriller” album, which was released just a few years later, and went on to become the biggest selling album of all time.
4. 1984 – Van Halen: The years that followed the band’s spectacular 1978 debut release, “Van Halen”, found the group steadily touring and recording. And though it would be difficult to argue their ongoing success, it was hard not to notice the progressively declining quality of their albums. Despite its commercial success, longtime fans couldn’t help but be dismayed by the remake filled album, “Diver Down” from 1982. Given those factors, there was no reason to expect the stunning return to form that “1984” represented. On many levels it was the band’s most successful album.
5. A Momentary Lapse of Reason – Pink Floyd: For long time fans, it didn’t seem possible to make a legitimate Pink Floyd record without founding member Roger Waters. But guitarist David Gilmour and company did just that with this 1987 release. Though not necessarily ranked with their best work, this album was highly successful, and proved to be a credible addition to the bands enduring legacy.
6. Fleetwood Mac (1975) – Fleetwood Mac: By the time that Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks arrived, “Fleetwood Mac” had already been a band for almost a decade, and had released nine albums. But the addition of these two distinctive artists radically changed the chemistry within the group, and propelled them to a whole new level of popularity. This album not only topped the chart, it sold over 5 million copies, and produced three big radio hits (i.e. Rhiannon, Over My Head, and Say You Love Me). More importantly, it set the stage for the group’s next album, “Rumours”, which went on to be one of the biggest selling albums of all time.
7. Infinity – Journey: Originally formed in 1973, the band was made up of veteran players from the San Francisco bay area; including Santana alum Gregg Rolie and Neal Schon. But after the groups first three albums failed to consistently connect with a sizeable audience, their record company recommended a change in direction, including the incorporation of another vocalist. This shift from a jazz/rock to pop/rock style, and the addition of Steve Perry’s striking vocals, proved to be a winning combination, as their 1978 release, “Infinity” went on to achieve platinum status, and set off a string of highly successful albums.
8. Back in Black – AC/DC: The death of lead singer, Bon Scott, seemed to signal the end for Australian rock outfit AC/DC. His charisma, and distinctive growl, were at the heart of the band’s sound, and looked to be irreplaceable. At that time, few could have anticipated the emergence of new singer Brian Johnson, and the release of what is arguably the bands most complete album.
9. Third Stage – Boston: Though not considered to be on a par with the band’s first two albums (i.e. 1976’s “Boston” and 1978’s “Don’t Look Back”), this album is notable for the eight year span that preceded it’s 1986 release. Multiple law suits, and techno-wiz/guitarist/producer Tom Scholz’s constant tinkering, led to the delay. Despite the gap, this album did manage to continue the bands string of multi-platinum success.
10. Heaven and Hell – Black Sabbath: Considering that Ozzy Osbourne was the face, the voice, and ultimately the stage persona of the band, it seemed unlikely that the group could be successful without him. But when his rampant drug & alcohol abuse caused the band to “fire” him in 1979, they decided to regroup with former Rainbow vocalist Ronnie James Dio. Surprisingly, this new lineup reinvigorated the band’s music, and was well-received by die hard Sabbath fans. It’s interesting to note that it was the daughter of the band’s manager, Don Arden who recommended Dio as Ozzy’s replacement, and that years later she (Sharon Arden) became Mrs. Ozzy Osbourne.

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10 Surprising Singles

Posted in Entertainment/Music/Sports, Lists, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 25, 2015| Leave a Comment »

  1. Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen:  Lead singer, Freddie Mercury was an unprecedented showman, and his unique persona made its mark on all of the band’s music; but this epic recording stands alone in its innovation and originality.  Even decades later, with all of the advances in music technology, there is nothing like it.
  2. December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night) – The Four Seasons:  Also known as Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, their string of 1960‘s hits made them one of the most successful vocal groups of all-time, eventually propelling them into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  And while the signature falsetto of lead singer Frankie Valli was at the forefront of almost every big hit, it was drummer Gerry Polci who sang lead on this 1975 hit, which went on to become the group’s biggest selling single.
  3. Owner of a Lonely Heart – Yes:  Through ten albums, and more than a decade, art rock band “Yes” habitually produced 8 -10 minute opuses that didn’t fit well into the pop radio format.  But all of that changed with the 1983 release of the album “90125”.  This pop music gem went on to become the band’s one and only #1 single.
  4. Smells Like Teen Spirit – Nirvana:  In the early nineties there was nothing on pop radio that sounded remotely like Nirvana’s brand of rock, which was ultimately dubbed, “grunge”.  Even their record company was caught completely off guard by the meteoric rise of the band, their single, “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, and its corresponding album, “Nevermind”.
  5. Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia) – Us3:  This Jazz/Hip-Hop fusion from 1993 was revolutionary for it’s day, and it’s mass appeal helped drive the Rap/Hip-Hop genre from the fringe of popular music to the heart of popular culture.
  6. Beth – Kiss:  By the mid-seventies, the band, “Kiss” had risen to stardom on the strength of their spectacular stage shows, and their hard rock sound.  In keeping with what had brought them success, the band released the single, “Detroit Rock City” in 1976.  But to the surprise of everyone associated with the band, it was the B-side of that record, the ballad, “Beth”, that went on to become one of the groups most successful songs.
  7. Jane – Jefferson Starship:  Founding member, Paul Kantner, and his band, had a string of soft rock hits (e.g. Miracles, With Your Love, Count on Me) following their transition from the original “Jefferson Airplane” lineup.  But with the 1978 departure of lead singers, Grace Slick, and Marty Balin, they found themselves at yet another crossroad.  Then, the addition of “Fooled Around & Fell in Love” singer, Mickey Thomas, and a new harder rock sound, propelled their surprising 1979 single, “Jane” up the charts; beginning a new chapter in the bands long and diverse history.
  8. Tusk – Fleetwood Mac:  Following up on the phenomenal success of the classic album “Rumours”, with its four top ten singles, was a daunting task.  But the 1979 album, “Tusk” provided twenty new songs to choose from.  Of those, the unusual title track seemed to be the least likely candidate for release as a single.  Nonetheless, this pop music oddity reached the top ten later that year.
  9. Because the Night – The Patti Smith Group:  Nothing in Patti Smith’s eclectic artistic history would have indicated that a Top 40 record was anywhere in her future, but her reworking of this Bruce Springsteen composition ruled the airwaves upon its 1978 release.
  10. Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy – Bing Crosby & David Bowie:  In what had to be one of the most unlikely pairings in pop music history, 1940’s crooner Bing Crosby, and 1970’s glam rocker David Bowie teamed for this Christmas medley, which was included as a part of Crosby’s 1977 television Christmas special.

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10 Memorable Debut Albums

Posted in Entertainment/Music/Sports, Lists, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 25, 2015| Leave a Comment »

  1. Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin:  From the opening notes of the first track (Good Times, Bad Times), Zeppelin’s debut album hailed the coming of one of rock-n-rolls greatest bands.  Mixing bruising rock with heavy blues, and sprinkling in a touch of folk, it was an instant hit that set off a string of now classic albums (e.g. Led Zeppelin II, III, IV, Houses of the Holy, and Physical Graffiti).  Cuts like “Dazed and Confused”, “Babe I’m Gonna Leave You” and “Communication Breakdown” stand amongst the best in Zeppelin’s catalog.
  2. The Cars – The Cars:  On the front of what was aptly called the, “New Wave”, the Cars debut record was a heady blend of synthesizers, crunchy guitars and quirky lyrics.  Though the band went on to score numerous radio hits, no album in their catalog ever approached the consistent quality of this one.
  3. Appetite for Destruction – Guns N’ Roses:  Looking back, it’s hard to remember that this record didn’t initially sell very well.  It wasn’t until the radio got a hold of “Sweet Child o Mine”, that sales began to take off.  Along with the popularity of tracks like “Welcome to the Jungle” and “Paradise City”, the album went on to sell almost 30 million copies worldwide.
  4. Crosby, Stills & Nash – Crosby, Stills and Nash:  Despite their notable success with other bands, David Crosby (The Byrds), Stephen Stills (Buffalo Springfield) and Graham Nash (The Hollies) never sounded better than when they joined their voices together in this super-group.  Their 1969 debut album stands as one of the greatest records of that turbulent era.
  5. Van Halen – Van Halen:  The Van Halen brothers arrived with a bang on their 1978 debut record.  Featuring tight rhythms, David Lee Roth’s distinctive howl, and Eddie’s virtuoso guitar work, it was a gritty counterpoint to the synth-pop sounds that ruled the airwaves.  For die-hard fans, this album still represents the pinnacle of their catalog.
  6. Whitney Houston – Whitney Houston:  Though originally released in 1985, it took almost a year for this landmark debut album to reach a worldwide audience.  But Whitney Houston’s dazzling voice and stunning beauty were impossible to ignore; as the record went on to produce three #1 singles.  It was a remarkable beginning for one of pop music’s most amazing voices.
  7. Boston – Boston:  Though their debut album seemed to explode onto the music scene in 1976, it was actually years in the making.  Techno wiz Tom Scholz essentially began the process of recording with the core of the band in the early 1970’s, repeatedly reworking the demos until he felt they were ready.  The finished product became one of the biggest selling debut albums of all time, and nearly forty years after its release, songs from this record can still be regularly heard on rock radio.
  8. The Pretenders – The Pretenders:  Though formed in England, the creative core of the group was primary songwriter, and singer, Chrissie Hynde; who was originally from Akron Ohio.  More gritty than the typical New Wave band, and more accessible than the average Punk band, their music was a compelling blend of influences.  Even decades removed from the context of the early 1980’s, this record still sounds fresh and relevant.
  9. Ten – Pearl Jam:  Just as band mates Stone Goassard and Jeff Ament’s previous group (Mother Love Bone) was set to release their debut album, lead singer Andrew Wood died of a drug overdose.  Just a year later, they regrouped with a new lead singer (Eddie Vedder), renamed the band (Pearl Jam), and released their ground-breaking debut album “Ten”.  Despite it’s rather dark themes, rock radio gravitated to cuts like, “Alive”, “Evenflow”, “Jeremy”, and “Black”; as the album went on to sell over 13 million copies.
  10. The Doors – The Doors:  1967 proved to be a pivotal year in Rock-n-Roll history, and the release of The Doors self-titled debut record proved to be a significant part of that.  Whether it was the irresistible keyboard hook of “Light My Fire”, the rocking “Break On Through”, or the haunting, “The End”, this record was an instant classic.

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14 Thoughts for the 2014 Graduates

Posted in Lists, Opinions, tagged on May 17, 2014| Leave a Comment »

There is an old saying that goes something like, “I wish I knew back then what I know now”.  And as I look back to my own graduation, here are some of those things I wish I had understood.

 

  1. Life is not a ride, it’s a journey.  A ride is simply being carried along to wherever the vehicle happens to be going, while a journey has an ultimate destination, which requires some navigation and effort to complete.  Unless we purpose in our heart to be someone, or to do something, we are likely to live life like a pinball; propelled by gravity and bouncing from one obstacle to another.  Anything worthwhile in life will require some investment on our part. Those who are unwilling to make such an investment will generally be pushed along by the winds of circumstance to some uncertain end.
  2. Not everyone who agrees with you is for you, and not everyone who disagrees with you is against you.  In this era of political correctness openly disagreeing with someone is often viewed as being “intolerant” of their beliefs. But there are times when caring for a person dictates that we confront and contradict them.  Conversely, there are those who are perfectly willing to allow you to drive headlong into disaster, as long as it serves their own selfish agenda.
  3. Misery not only loves company, it wants to settle down and have children too.  I’ve noticed that miserable people not only seek out other miserable people to bond with, but that they’ll often unconsciously sabotage anything that has the potential to pull them from their misery.  There are few emotions that are as debilitating and self-sustaining as self-pity. Generally, the only way to remain free of such feelings is through a dogged determination not to live that way.  As long as we are willing to blame other people, and circumstances, for our condition, we will remain powerless to change it.
  4. What other people believe about you isn’t as important as what you believe about yourself.  Only the things which we genuinely believe have the ability to impact how we live.  Therefore, the only words (positive or negative) that have the power to move us are those which we accept as truth.  If a man concludes that he is a failure, no amount of praise or encouragement can bring him to victory; and if a man concludes that he is an over-comer, no amount of criticism can hold him back.  While we are generally powerless to keep others from speaking about us, we possess the ultimate responsibility for what we are willing to accept as truth.
  5. Planting apple seeds won’t get you an orange tree.  Just as dependable as the law of gravity is the concept that we will reap (i.e. harvest) what we sow (i.e. plant).  Though this phrase is immediately recognizable to most people, there are few who actually live as though it were true.  Our human nature will often cause us to be unforgiving with other people, while expecting generosity in return; to be deceptive about our motivations, while expecting others to deal with us honestly; and to be selfish about our desires, while expecting others to be considerate of us.  We must always remain conscious of the fact that the cup we use to dispense blessing is the cup that we will eventually drink our blessings from.
  6. It’s doubtful that anyone is really “out to get you”.  Generally, a person has to be of significant consequence before someone is willing to invest the time and energy it takes to conspire against them.  I would suggest that we are more often damaged because people aren’t considerate of our position than we are because people have made a conscious effort to hurt us.  Though this knowledge doesn’t necessarily dampen the pain, it should aid in our endeavor to forgive.
  7. When you keep your own score, you always feel as though you’re losing.  The problem with keeping score is that we naturally tend to under-appreciate our blessings, and to have an exaggerated sense of our hardships.  Because of that, people who keep score in life generally feel as though they’re never quite being given their due.  Ultimately, it’s better to just give our best in any given situation and to let someone else keep the scorecard.
  8. The path of least resistance is rarely a road worth taking.  Often what causes something to be valuable is that it cannot be easily attained.  It follows then that the most valuable things in life normally require some perseverance to apprehend.  While everyone may sincerely want these kinds of things for their life (e.g. a healthy body, a strong marriage, a successful career…), few are willing to endure the process it takes to secure them.  Unfortunately, we live in a culture that increasingly values convenience above quality, and in which many of our children have grown up with an expectation of the instant gratification of their desires. Many a parent has worked hard to ensure that their kids get a great education, so that these children won’t have to struggle like they did.  But this ignores the fact that it is in the midst of the struggle that we tend to develop our character and work ethic; and that without this development we are generally ill equipped to handle adversity.  I’ve found that you can teach someone with character and work ethic just about anything, but without those qualities, an education becomes of little value.  I’ve also come to believe that giving my children everything that I didn’t have when I grew up will likely handicap them for life.
  9. There are few jobs easier than being a critic and few that are more taxing than being a builder.  I’m ashamed to admit that there have been times in my life when I’ve been like the guy who sits in the back of the classroom, ridiculing the person who’s teaching the class. Playing the role of critic, while someone sincerely tries to have a positive influence on the people around them.  While I might try to rationalize that their efforts were less than perfect, or maybe even in vain, life has taught me how little that criticism helps anyone.  It takes a tremendous amount of effort and patience to bring unity where there has only been division, or to stir a group to battle, when they’ve only known defeat, or to restore a sense of hope to a place of desolation…  The builder must make a concerted effort to create, while the critic can bring destruction with little effort.  As a witness to, and a participant in, both of these processes, I’ve committed myself to spending the rest of my days being engaged in the building up and not the tearing down.
  10. No person or thing can “make you happy”.  People can support us, love us, inspire us, and even enhance the quality of our life. But unless we determine within ourselves to find the joy, the beauty and the hope within our given circumstance, we will never be “happy”. The idea that it is someone else’s role to bring happiness into our life places tremendous pressure on our relationships, often causing them to fail (e.g. they just don’t make me happy anymore…).  Similarly, material things do not have the ability to bring satisfaction to our souls.  I’ve noticed that people, who can be grateful for what they have today, will generally be that way regardless of what they have. And that people, who crave something more, will normally continue to crave regardless of what they get.
  11. For everything there is a season and it’s important not to despise the season that you’re in.  If you live long enough you notice that there is a sort of pattern that life follows and that things come and go in seasons.  While we have a natural tendency to like some seasons better than others, I’ve found that every season comes with both challenges and blessings.  If we focus on the challenges of the season we’re in, we’ll often miss the blessings, and spend our time pining away for the season to change.  Conversely, if we focus on the blessings of each season, it makes the challenges easier to endure, and brings a sense of variety to the journey.
  12. It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.  Experience teaches us that the road to victory is generally paved with some amount of defeat; and that how we respond to those defeats will generally determine whether or not we ever come to the place of victory.   While victory tends to be the goal of every player, I’ve found that what we remember is how they played the game.  It is not necessarily the player with the highest winning percentage that captures our imagination, it is the player who played unselfishly, or with integrity, or who overcame the biggest odds…  Even for those who taste great victory, it is always in a moment that quickly passes into a lifetime of other moments.  At the moment we pass from this life, it won’t be that moment of glory that matters most; it will be how we lived all the other moments that ultimately defines us.
  13. It’s hard to be Clint Eastwood if you’re really Mr. Rogers.  As I was growing up my conception of what a man was came largely from my father, who was a big fan of men like John Wayne and Clint Eastwood.   Throughout my adolescence there were other icons (e.g. John Travolta – Saturday Night Fever, Sly Stallone – Rambo, Don Johnson – Miami Vice…) who seemed to collectively shape the culture’s conception of manhood, and who I unconsciously graded myself against.  Since I was nothing like these men I assumed that I just wasn’t much of a man, and in subtle ways I let their image affect how I walked, talked, dressed… But as I got older I began to notice that there weren’t many things less attractive than someone trying to be something that they’re not (e.g. a middle aged woman dressed like teenager; a suburban white kid acting as though he grew up in the ghetto; a man with a bad toupee, acting as though it is his natural hair…).  I eventually came to peace with the understanding that regardless of the fact that I bear little or no resemblance to the trendy cultural images of manhood, the best thing I could do was to be myself.  That catharsis has  allowed me to do things like wear the clothes that I feel comfortable in; to act silly in public, just to make my kids laugh; to say “I love you too honey” when I hang up the phone in front of someone; to cry at sad movies…, all without feeling self-conscious.  I highly recommend it.
  14. The best things in life cannot be held in our hands or necessarily even be seen.  A young person’s dreams are often rooted in tangible gains, like a mate, income, a career, a family, a home…  But as a person attains those kinds of things, values seem to shift from the tangible to the transcendent.  At the end of a long life, it is things like friendship, faith, love and hope that are ultimately treasured.

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Thoughts on Marriage

Posted in Heart of "The Father", Lists, Parenting / Family, tagged , on March 26, 2014| 3 Comments »

We seem to be in a season where people all around us are contemplating marriage, getting engaged, getting married, and unfortunately, getting divorced. As I’ve been praying for many of these folks, I was reminded of some things I’ve picked up along the way. These particular lists are more than a few years old, but I believe they still ring true today.

 

10 Thoughts for My Future Son and/or Daughter In-Laws

 

As a father of four (two sons and two daughters), it seems inevitable that I will one day occupy the position of “father-in-law” in somebody’s life.  Though that may still be some years away (I hope!), I’ve been watching my peers go through this process and I’ve noticed how often fiancé’s talk about wanting to have a great relationship with their future in-laws.  Since I’m confident that I won’t be included in the selection process, I thought it might be helpful to make a list for these future family members.  After all, I want to have a great relationship with them too!

 

  1. This marriage is going to cost you!  I sincerely hope that you’ve decided that my child is Mr. or Mrs. Right, that you guys were meant to be together, that you have great chemistry…etc, but even if all of that is true, you need to understand that sharing your life with someone will always involve sacrifice.  If that isn’t what you’re signing up for, I’d recommend reconsidering your position.
  2. I have x-ray vision & I plan on using it.  I’m sure that you’re going to make a big effort to make a good impression when we meet and I appreciate that; but I can promise you that my biggest concern will be with what’s in your heart.  If I sense the kind of love that I have for my child in your heart, I feel certain that we’ll get along just fine.
  3. Get ready to be disappointed.  I hope that your courtship has been like a great fairytale romance, and that your wedding will be a kind of coronation of that great love, but truthfully, day to day life is rarely like that.  There will undoubtedly be struggles and disappointments along the way, and how you handle those things together will ultimately define your marriage.  I have found that if your love is genuine, the struggles will only make that bond stronger.
  4. I cannot be an unbiased, casual observer.  In these days of political correctness it is tempting to claim that I will be a completely unbiased, casual observer, in your relationship with my son or daughter, but for me that would be a lie.  While I do understand that your life will be your own, and that I need to respect the boundaries you establish, I don’t have it within me to be casual or unbiased in my feelings for my children.  That does not mean that I will be against you, or that I will be unwilling to find fault in your spouse.  It is my hope that my feelings will eventually become just as biased for you.
  5. Remember where the hole was.  There is a void within our hearts that can only be filled by someone who genuinely cares for us; but the danger in long term relationships is that over time we can forget what life was like before that hole was filled.  One of the most common terminal illnesses’ that strikes in relationships is when people begin to take each other for granted.  Though I hope that your life together will bring about a sense of inner wholeness, I also pray that you will never forget where the hole used to be.
  6. Don’t marry my child for what you hope they will bring to your life.  Though I would hope that marrying one of my children will bring great things to your life, I pray that this would not be your sole motivation for the marriage.  The love that I have for my kids compels me to hope for someone who wants to bring something to their lives.  If you’re simply looking for someone to make you feel loved and to be there for you, I’d recommend buying a cat.  It’s cheaper, it’s easier and you can even have them de-clawed.
  7. Honesty is still the best policy.  If you really want a relationship that lasts, forget just about everything that you’ve ever seen on television or in movies about how to handle relationships.  It’s not supposed to be a battle, or a power struggle, or a game, or filled with intrigue and manipulation.  Just be honest from the beginning.  That not only goes for your marriage, it will also help tremendously with you and me.
  8. The easiest way to gain treasure is to treasure what you have.   If you treat something valuable as though it is old junk it will eventually become old junk.  Relationships work the same way.  Contrary to popular mythology, it is not often the younger, more physically attractive person that steals a spouse; it is generally the one who makes them feel more valued.
  9. Put all your eggs in one basket.  Once you’ve decided on your life’s mate, I suggest that you change your view of every other member of the opposite sex.  Begin to view every older person like a parent, every peer like a sibling and every younger person like one of your children.  Reserve every bit of your romantic and sexual energy (including your thoughts) for your mate.  If you do this, you’ll be amazed at how passionate your marriage will stay.
  10. God has a destiny for my child.  It is my personal belief that God created each of my children with a destiny and in the time they’ve been with me, it’s been my mission to help them in finding it.  If you will take that on as your mission, you will always have my support.

 

Note – The fact that this document contains no mention of grandchildren should not be misinterpreted. 

Some things go without saying.  If you don’t know my feelings about children, we’ve clearly never met.

 

10 Keys To A Better Marriage

The danger in writing a piece like this is that people will begin to examine your marriage in an attempt to validate or invalidate your premise.  Obviously I’d hope that an examination of my marriage would only serve to reaffirm these things, but regardless of whether it does, I believe that these principles are sound.  As a man who’s experienced a marriage that was totally in-step with the cultural philosophies of the day and who is now endeavoring to have a marriage based solely on the biblical model, I can testify that the contrast is dramatic.  I believe that there are few things in life which are more telling about a person then how they relate to their spouse.

 

  1. Make a covenant with your eyes:  Job said that he’d made a covenant with his eyes, so as to not look upon a woman with lust and I believe that we need to do much the same.  Our culture encourages us to view every person as a sexual being and even as a potential sexual partner; but such thoughts are the door way to the rampant sexuality (e.g. teen pregnancy, marital infidelity, pornography, perversion…) that pervades our society.  As a Christian person all of our sexual desires (e.g. feelings, thoughts, actions…) need to be focused on our spouse.  As a Christian man, I need to view every woman who is not my spouse as either, a mother, a sister or a daughter; and as such never allow myself to view them in a sexual way.  In doing so, I can have a loving relationship with them and not be in danger of falling into sin. 
  2. We were meant to complete, not compete:  In the book of Genesis we see that God created Eve in response to what He saw missing in Adam and that He used something from inside of Adam to create Eve.  I believe that this is a beautiful picture of Gods intent for marriage.  He has created us for oneness in marriage; to be a help and an encouragement to each other; and so that our differences would make us a more complete team.  Unfortunately our culture has perpetuated the idea that there is a natural competition (or battle) between men and women that cannot be avoided.  As Christians we need to derive our identities and our model for relationships from the Bible and not from the culture.  There is far too much teaching about marriage and relationships within the church that is steeped in Psychology (which simply identifies the way we’ve been), rather than the Word of God (which tells us who we were made to be).
  3. Don’t try to be your spouses’ conscience:  Only God can change a heart and only the Holy Spirit can bring about true “conviction”.  Our attempts to play this role in the life of our spouse only serves to inhibit the work that God desires to do.  If you know that your spouse is in need of a change, appeal to the only One who can bring that change about, and while you’re at it, pray that He will manifest patience and gentleness in you until that change comes to pass.
  4. Remember the picture of Jesus with a towel around his waist:  In the three years that Jesus and the Apostles were together, they became a family and undoubtedly Jesus was the leader of that family.  Before He went to the cross for them, He left them (and us) a beautiful picture of what spiritual leadership looks like, when He washed their feet.  If we intend on leading our families in a way that is pleasing to God, we must also learn to assume the position of humility and to serve.  In Jesus’ day many rejected Him as the Messiah because His image did not project the grandeur of a King; many of us have rejected Jesus’ example of spiritual leadership for the same reason.
  5. Remember that you will answer to your Father-In-Law:  While I understand that God is my Father, I have found that in marriage it is helpful to remember that He is my wife’s Father as well; and that He sees and hears everything that I say, do and think.  At any given moment I need to ask myself, “I wonder what her Daddy thinks about what I’m saying or thinking or doing”.  If the presence of her Father would alter my behavior, then I’m probably some place that I shouldn’t be.  As Christians we need to recognize that one day we will stand before our spouses’ Heavenly Father and give an accounting of how we treated them.  If that thought scares you, don’t worry – it was meant to.
  6. Don’t invite the Devil to live in your spare bedroom:  While this may sound a little strange, we unconsciously do this when we resort to manipulation, intimidation and/or domination in our relationships.  All of these tactics are celebrated in our culture and each one draws on the power of deception and fear.  Regardless of our intent, reverting to these methods empowers the enemy of our souls and gives him authority in our relationships and in our homes.  When we take what we know about our spouse (or anyone else) and use it against them, we invite our enemy to be Lord over that relationship.
  7. Don’t confuse love and bodily functions:  In an era of unparalleled sexual promiscuity, the church ought to be an oasis for sexual purity; unfortunately, like so many other things, the church continues to take its cues about sexuality from the world.  In many cases the subject is never spoken of, giving Christians little counterpoint to the teaching of the world.  Sadly, what little teaching is done on the subject is generally polluted with worldly and ungodly ideas.  I have heard well meaning Christians teach a spectrum of ideas; from things like, “we should be our spouse’s fantasy” to “we need to do our marital duty”.  As we look at Gods word, we can’t find these ideas substantiated.  The Bible portrays two people becoming one in an expression of unity, commitment and love; it perpetuates the idea of sacrificing ones individuality to become a part of a greater whole and it is an act that is meant to be experienced not only in our bodies, but in our souls and spirits.  In our culture, we’ve reduced this act to a bodily function and in doing so, we’ve made it totally unfulfilling.  If your spouse is having sexual fantasies, the last thing you want to do is to re-enforce them.  They need to quit imagining and to start expressing their passion for you.  If they don’t have any passion for you, they need to ask God for help, because He has passion for you.  In the same way, “doing your marital duty” will not suffice.  Every human being (man or woman) yearns to feel significant and valuable.  Doing your workmanlike duty in the bedroom will not fulfill that need, in fact it will have quite the opposite effect.  My experience with those who fall into infidelity is not that they’re necessarily after someone who is younger, more attractive or more successful; but that they want someone who makes them feel valuable and desired.  We as Christians need to come to a new understanding of the intimacy that God has called us to and to begin to experience the fullness that He created for us.
  8. Remember when you said, “Love, Honor & Cherish”:  These three words are included in the vows of most weddings, just as the biblical definition of love is (i.e. love is patient, love is kind, love is not self-seeking…) and yet we rarely witness these things in most marriages.  It seems that in a time where everything is viewed as being relative, we’ve come to see our vows as being relative too.  In the excitement of the moment we said all those things, but now we’re not all that excited; maybe we’re even a little disappointed, so we feel like that excuses us.  Of course as Christians, we know that the truth is not relative and that God expects us to live up to our end of a covenant, even when others fail to live up to theirs.  While it is rare to see the kind of love described in the Bible manifest in most marriages; it is even rarer still to see spouses’ honoring and cherishing each other.  As Christians we need to seek to live these words out.  If we’re struggling, we need to ask God to give us His heart for our spouse, because He loves, honors and cherishes them.
  9. Throw away your scorecard:  The Bible says that love keeps no record of wrong doing and that the measure that we use with others is the measure that will be used with us.  We need to quit keeping score with the people that we say that we love, and begin to give our best; regardless of whether it is recognized, appreciated or reciprocated.
  10. Nobody can make you happy:  We must understand that no matter how much we love someone or how much they love us, they cannot “make us happy”.  They can be a conduit for good things in our lives, but ultimately our happiness is dependent on how we choose to view and respond to life.  God did not design us so that our well being would hinge on the imperfect love of another human being; He invested himself in us, so that we would find our identity, fulfillment and security in Him.  We cannot use our spouse as the scapegoat for our unhappiness; only our Creator can fill the place in our hearts that He created for Himself.  It is ultimately the mission of every Christian spouse to help their mate find that place in God.

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Rock & Roll Hall of Fame – Five for Five

Posted in Entertainment/Music/Sports, Lists, Opinions, tagged on February 27, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Clearly, I don’t get a vote on who gets into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame; but if I did, things would look a little different. For me, some of the artists they’ve chosen are head scratchers, while some of the ones they’ve left out are equally baffling. I could go on for days, but let me narrow it down to five. If I could trade five who are already in for five who’ve been left out, they’d be:

Sell

1. The Beastie Boys – I guess white guys making credible rap music was somewhat groundbreaking in its day, but I can’t find anything in the catalog that warrants this kind of accolade.
2. Donna Summer – I love her voice and she made some great dance records, but I don’t get the rock and roll connection. While early R&B artists and Motown legends influenced a whole generation of rockers, I don’t know anyone who’d site her catalog and/or disco music in general, as informing their rock and roll. Definitely belongs in the Pop Music Hall of Fame.
3. Blondie – Another band that I enjoyed, but like the Beasties I can’t find the classic work that would launch them into this sphere.
4. Patti Smith – I’ve appreciated her art (in all its varied forms) and I admire her as a human being. I also think that “Because the Night” was a great record. But I don’t see anything that really warrants elevating her to the pantheon of rock music.
5. Daryl Hall and John Oats – Like Ms. Summer, I’ve enjoyed some of the records, and they’ve had great success on the charts, but the music is purely pop. Other than a pretty credible cover of the classic “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling”, I’m struggling to see Hall of Fame credentials here.

Buy

1. The Doobie Brothers – Though their catalog is a little uneven in spots, it is filled with classic rock songs (e.g. Listen to the Music, Black Water, Another Park – Another Sunday, Long Train Running, China Grove, Takin’ it to the Streets…) that make them worthy of this recognition.
2. Bad Company/Paul Rodgers – I personally feel as though the quality of Bad Company’s catalog (e.g. Bad Company, Ready for Love, Can’t Get Enough, Shooting Star, Feel Like Makin’ Love, Burnin’ Sky…) justifies a spot, but for those who might disagree, I would submit that without a doubt vocalist Paul Rodgers belongs. His work with “Free”, “Bad Company”, “The Firm” and even “Queen”, qualifies him as one of the greatest rock vocalists ever.
3. Chicago – I realize that some of their later pop recordings tarnished their legacy a bit, but they had a solid run of ten albums filled with groundbreaking rock music.
4. Boston – I believe that their debut album alone qualifies them. The second album was a classic as well. Over 30 years later, these songs are still all over the radio.
5. Yes – An amazing collection of virtuoso artists, making totally original music. With artists like Traffic, Genesis, Pink Floyd, and now Peter Gabriel, already inducted, why not recognize the achievements of this innovative band.

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Upon Further Review (A Fresh Look at Some Old Rock)

Posted in Entertainment/Music/Sports, Lists, Opinions, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2014| Leave a Comment »

After spending the first thirty years of my life being glued to the radio, collecting record albums, and reading Rolling Stone magazine, I took about a twelve year hiatus from that whole scene. In recent years, as I’ve revisited some of that old music, I’ve been surprised by how different some of it sounds to me now.  A few of the bands I used to love don’t sound that good anymore, and others seem even better than I remember them.  Here are a few examples:

Under-rated:

  • Steely Dan – I always enjoyed this bands completely unique approach to their craft. The complex jazz influenced arrangements, the exquisite musicianship, the cryptic lyrics and the sparkling production made them standout against the rock/pop music landscape. These attributes also give their best work a timeless quality that has allowed it to become classic.
  • Chicago – In its heyday, this band was one of the brightest and most innovative groups in rock music. Through their first ten albums they produced a library of compelling music, much of which remains vibrant today. Though the exploitation of the band’s name in later years diminished their stature in the rock community, a listen to their earlier work is a great reminder of what a special group this was.
  • Bad Company – Formed from the ashes of the bands, “Free”, “Mott the Hoople” and “King Crimson”, Bad Company was something of a super-group and it showed immediately on their classic (self-titled) debut album. Though their run (with the original lineup) was relatively brief, it produced five solid albums filled with a lot of great music.
  • The Guess Who – This legendary Canadian band has taken on many forms over the years, but it was the combination of Burton Cummings remarkable vocals and guitarist Randy Bachman’s copious musical skills that created their most memorable music. Between 1969 and 1970 they released classics like, “These Eyes”, “Laughing”, “Undun”, “No Time”, “No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature”, “Share the Land”, and “American Woman”. Those songs alone give them a Hall of Fame worthy resume.

Over-rated:

  • Kiss – No one is likely to dispute their credentials as world class entertainers, and I would list a Kiss concert (with makeup) as a must-see event for any avid rock music fan. But as I revisited the old studio recordings it’s been hard to miss the mediocre songwriting, singing and, in many cases, playing. Other than Kiss Alive I & II, I’d be hard pressed to get through a whole album anymore.
  • Eric Clapton (Solo) – There’s no doubt that Clapton is a guitar virtuoso, and that he has played on numerous classic recordings. But as I’ve listened with fresh ears it’s difficult not to notice the huge disparity between the work he did in bands such as the Bluesbreakers, Cream, Blind Faith, Derek and the Domino’s, and his solo recordings. His limitations as a songwriter and vocalist become far more apparent when he was not surrounded by great musicians/vocalists like Jack Bruce, Ginger Baker, Duane Allman, Steve Winwood… His best solo recordings have generally been songs written by others (e.g. JJ Cale).
  • Jimi Hendrix – I know that I’ll likely be lynched for including his hallowed name on this list, and it is in no way meant to disparage his amazing talent. In truth, it is more a lament over the circumstances that surrounded his brief recording career. Though every fan cherishes anything they can get their hands on, most of the Hendrix catalog is made up of poorly recorded, poorly produced snippets of songs and ideas. All of them point to the limitless potential that Hendrix possessed, but sadly, few of them represent the realization of that potential.

Lives Up to the Hype:

  • The Beatles – These guys are the gold standard by which just about everyone else is judged and after years of not hearing them, their music still sounds fresh and innovative. With all due respect to their notable individual accomplishments, none of them consistently approached this artistic level as a solo artist.
  • The Doors – Like everyone else, I was a big Jim Morrison fan, and was often mesmerized by his persona. But in revisiting the Doors catalog I was struck by the incredible talent and contributions of the rest of the band (keyboardist Ray Manzarek, drummer John Densmore and guitarist Robby Krieger).   They were by no means simply Morrison’s backing band.
  • Led Zeppelin – English bands that loved to play the blues were a dime a dozen back in the 1960’s, but none of them quite reached the heights that Zeppelin did. Their eclectic mix of blues, folk and hard rock could be at times tender, haunting, or even bludgeoning. Going back and listening to this music only enhanced my respect for this one of a kind band.

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10 Definitive Versions of Classic Christmas Songs

Posted in Christmas, Entertainment/Music/Sports, Lists, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 18, 2013| 3 Comments »

1.     Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Gene Autry):  Even though the story had been written some years before (1939), it could be argued that Autry’s version of this song (1949) was the sleigh that launched Rudolph to a worldwide audience.  As the first #1 song of the 1950’s, it eventually went on to sell over 12 million copies.   Autry’s warm folksy rendition has never been surpassed (though the 1960’s television special made Burl Ives version of the song a holiday staple as well).

2.     The Christmas Waltz (Frank Sinatra):  While many believe that Frank also nailed the definitive version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”, “The Christmas Waltz” manages to capture both the holiday spirit and the classic Sinatra style.  Except for the Christmas oriented lyrics, it’s not hard to imagine this song fitting nicely on any of his Nelson Riddle era albums.

3.     Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow (Dean Martin):  This song was a perfect vehicle to combine Martin’s gifts as a crooner with his naturally playful personality.  It also served to reinforce his reputation as something of a ladies’ man, as it turns out to be one of the more romantic holiday songs of the Christmas season.

4.     Jingle Bell Rock (Bobby Helms):  At the time of this recording (1957) Bobby Helms was a rising country music star.  The song itself was meant to capture both the holiday feel of “Jingle Bells” and the emerging popularity of “rock and roll”.  With its catchy, easy-going, style, it has managed to become an enduring classic in the years since.

5.     Holly Jolly Christmas (Burl Ives):  As an accomplished actor and folk singer, Burl Ives was picked to voice the character of “Sam,” the snowman, in the 1960’s TV special, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”  Johnny Marks, who’d composed the original Gene Autry hit, was also brought in to do some additional music for the show.  “Holly Jolly Christmas” was one of those compositions, and it went on to become a holiday standard in its own right. 

6.     Sleigh Ride (Arthur Fiedler & the Boston Pops):  Although Leroy Anderson originally composed this piece and went on to have a big hit record with it in the 1950s, Arthur Fiedler & the Boston Pops have the distinction of doing the original recording in 1949.  In the years since it has become something a signature song for that revered orchestra. 

7.     Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree (Brenda Lee):  Recorded in 1958, when Lee was only thirteen years old, this song eventually became the biggest selling record of her long and illustrious career.  Like a couple of other classics on this list, it was also composed by Johnny Marks.

8.     Blue Christmas (Elvis Presley):  While this song was originally recorded in 1948, and had been remade by numerous artists, it was Presley’s decision to include it on his 1957 Christmas album that propelled it to worldwide acclaim.  Released as a single in 1964, the song has become an indelible part of the Elvis legacy.

9.     The Christmas Song (Nat King Cole):  Written by notable composer/singer Mel Torme in 1944, Cole recorded the original version of this song in 1946.  Despite its immediate success, he chose to re-record the tune on multiple occasions in order to take full advantage of the developing recording technology.  The definitive version was completed in 1961 and featured a full orchestra and “Stereophonic” sound.  It still stands as one of the highlights of Cole’s stellar career. 

10.  White Christmas (Bing Crosby):  First recorded in 1942, and featured as part of the movie “Holiday Inn,” this song is considered the best selling single (>50 million copies) and record (including various albums, >100 million copies) of all time.  Its phenomenal success eventually led to the development of the 1958 movie “White Christmas,” which went on to build a holiday legacy of its own.  Crosby originated another holiday classic the following year (1943) with the bittersweet, “I’ll be Home for Christmas.”

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