Being a committed and loving father does not guarantee that your kids will never struggle, but the failure to do so ensures that they will.
Posted in Heart of "The Father", Parenting / Family, Thought for the Day / Quotes | Tagged committed, fatherhood | 2 Comments »
When she walked in front of the car, she wouldn’t even look at me; and when she got in, she shut the door harder than she meant to. I knew she was frustrated that I’d made her change clothes, but her shorts were too short and her shirt was too tight. I understood that she wasn’t trying to be provocative, and that compared to her peers she was downright modest; but a dad has to do what he has to do. I wanted to explain it to her, but I realized that at the moment she wasn’t ready to have that conversation. We’d driven a few blocks in awkward silence when I noticed that one of the neighbors had a bunch of their furniture in the driveway. Given the fact that there was a carpet company truck parked along the street, I assumed they must be getting some new carpet; but my teenaged daughter said, “Hey look, they’re having a Garage Sale”. After doing another quick scan, I said, “I don’t see any signs for a Garage Sale.” But she insisted, “Why else would they have all their furniture in the driveway like that?” I then pointed out the carpet truck, and shared my theory on what was happening; but then I added, “This is ultimately the reason you had to change clothes.” With a confused look on her face, she said, “What?” To which I replied, “When you put all of your stuff out on display like that, people just assume it’s for sale; even if you never said so.” It was a very quiet ride after that.
Posted in Parenting / Family, Thought for the Day / Quotes | Tagged modest, teenaged girls | Leave a Comment »
I recently read an article about a popular young actress, who claims that she’d been a “born-again Christian” for 4 years. She says that this all changed when, at 16 yrs. old, she had a major crush on a bisexual man, who liked to dress in women’s clothing. Because of her great affection for him, she thought, “There’s no way this guy’s going to hell. This guy is amazing.” Since that was counter to the teachings of her church, she decided to leave Christianity behind. Her take on the Bible is that it lacks “strong female role models” and that though “it was a nice guide”, “it certainly wasn’t how I was going to live my life.” I would guess that her story isn’t all that unusual in Hollywood, or the rest of America for that matter. At least this girl seemed to recognize that by throwing the Bible “out the window” she was fundamentally departing from the entire system of belief. There are many folks who still count themselves “Christian” and even occupy a pew on a weekly basis, who believe that they can pick and choose which parts of God’s word they adhere to.
While I wasn’t really surprised by this article, I was struck by this girl’s utter confidence (i.e. faith) in her ability to discern what was acceptable and what was not. In effect, she’s saying that she’s not willing to believe in a God who doesn’t agree with her conception of right and wrong. As I pondered the source of her confidence I couldn’t help but think of the Garden of Eden, where man first got to choose between the tree of life, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Interestingly, religion has confused people into believing that the choice was between the knowledge of good and the knowledge of evil, which really skews the lesson of the fall of man. Ultimately, mankind’s folly is wrapped up in his desire to decide for himself rather than to depend on a Savior. In fact, Jesus told his disciples, “The work of God is this: to believe in the One He has sent.” In the end, it will all boil down to what we’ve placed our faith in. For this young woman, who is rich in the things of this world, that will likely be her own sense of righteousness. For those who choose the tree of life, that will be the righteousness of our Savior.
Posted in Commentaries, Thought for the Day / Quotes | Tagged Garden of Eden, Tree of Life, Tree of the Knowledge of Good & Evil | Leave a Comment »
On Friday night (08/22/14) the families, and fans, of both the Chillicothe & Unioto High Schools got together for what was ostensibly billed as a football scrimmage. Even though these two schools aren’t in the same conference, or even in the same division, it would not be an exaggeration to call them cross-town rivals; or to acknowledge that this rivalry isn’t always friendly. But for this gathering, we were more of a community coming together for a common cause; and we spent our energy battling the elements instead of each other. With thunder, lighting, and torrential rains, the organizers of this event pretty much had to throw away the script in order to keep things going, and they did manage to pack a lot into the time they had. Money was raised for the cheerleaders, and for the football boosters, and for the ALS foundation. There was a helicopter dropping golf balls at a target, and ice bucket challenges, and even a little bit of football. But perhaps the most significant moment of the night occurred off of the field, in a place that most of us couldn’t see. In a parking lot adjacent to the field, where many members of Chillicothe’s team came face to face with their fallen star, Carl Harris.
People from our area have likely seen it in the paper, or heard about it around town. But since these words might reach further than that, I can tell you that Carl was to be a senior at Chillicothe High School, and until about a week ago, he was their star running back. Those who’ve seen him play would tell you he was absolutely electric on the field. Unfortunately, if the police reports are correct, a week earlier Carl made a very bad decision, and now he is going to have to pay a terrible price for it. For the guys on the team, it was a shock, and I think that many were hoping to find that it was all just some sort of misunderstanding. But coming face to face with Carl made it all too real. The emotions that flowed out of that moment were as profound and sincere as any you’ll witness from a group of teenage boys. Their tears weren’t for the touchdowns that Carl won’t score for the team; they were for their brother who would no longer be a part of their daily gatherings. Their tears were for the young man they looked up to, and for the realization of what has been lost.
While I would never attempt to defend the actions that Carl allegedly took, I can’t help but point out that he is not defined by that moment, or even by what he’s accomplished on the athletic field. Many of his teammates described him as a “leader” and my wife, who substitutes in the school system, confirmed that Carl was someone who’d stand up for her in the classroom. Whatever caused him to make the choices he made, there is no way to justify simply writing him off as a bad kid. On a personal level, my prayer is that, as difficult as this season of his life will be, Carl will battle through with the same grit and endurance he always displayed on the football field. I pray that he will find that his gifts go well beyond his athletic ability, and that maybe someday he’ll be able to help young people avoid the heartbreaking situation that he finds himself in today. I also pray that his Chillicothe teammates don’t allow this gut-wrenching lesson to pass by them too quickly. I suspect that there are many other young men out there who are one bad decision away from their own disaster.
About an hour and a half after the scrimmage finally ended, I went out to get some pizza for my family; and as I was returning home, I saw a player from the team, walking along the road in the rain. As I gave him a ride home, he mostly sat in stunned silence. He did tell me that his head hurt from crying for the last two hours, and we talked about how your whole life can change in the blink of an eye. I’m not sure what he derived from that conversation, but I can’t help but think it was a conversation worth having. We often try to get past the hard moments quickly, but if we go too fast, we fail to learn the necessary lessons. For now, we as a community need to keep all of these young men in our prayers, most especially young Carl Harris.
Posted in Commentaries, Personal, Prayers | Tagged bad decision, Carl Harris, Chillicothe & Unioto High Schools, Chillicothe High School, football scrimmage, genuine emotion | Leave a Comment »
Like so many other words in our culture, I believe that the meaning of the word “honesty” has changed over time. In today’s world, I suspect that most people would define it something like, “being honest means that you don’t tell a lie.” And while on some level that is probably true, I believe that genuine honesty goes much deeper than that. In fact, I would submit that honesty is a lot more about our intentions/motivations than our actions/words. Here’s an example:
A man takes a legitimate business trip to Las Vegas, and happens to run into an old girlfriend. After dinner and drinks, they head up to his hotel room, and it quickly becomes “just like old times”. After that encounter, they spend the rest of the trip carrying on a torrid affair. When the man comes home, and his wife asks how his trip was, he responds, “It was good. I ran into an old friend out there”.
Many would likely defend that he didn’t lie to his wife. After all, from his perspective, the trip was “good”, and he absolutely “ran into an old friend”. But clearly, his intention is to deceive her as to what really went on in Las Vegas. And at the very least, that makes him dishonest.
To go a step further, I would suggest that if the man comes home and merely presents himself as a dutiful husband, returning from an uneventful business trip, he is guilty creating an illusion. Within himself he has the understanding that what he’s done has the potential to massively change the context of his relationship with his family; and to pretend that things are unchanged is emotionally dishonest. Over time, this kind of dishonesty can be more damaging than the unfaithful act that precipitated it. While the wife might be able to get past the husband’s momentary indiscretion, she would be left to wonder whether she could ever trust a man who could look her in the eye, and lie to her, on a daily basis.
While this example may seem extreme, I believe that emotional dishonesty has become commonplace within our culture, and that we often rationalize that by not verbalizing or acting on the truth of our hearts, we’re somehow absolved of what goes on there. We think that if we don’t use racial slurs, we aren’t really a racist; even when we consciously judge people based on the color of their skin. Sadly, I don’t sense that church folk are any different in this regard. We smile at each other, and call each other “brother” or “sister”, but too often there is judgement, jealousy, and slander in our hearts. I believe that this is why the word that non-church going folk most often use to describe the Sunday morning crowd is “hypocrites”.
Before we can be emotionally honest with anyone else, we have to be honest with ourselves, and with God. If the man in the example convinces himself that what happened in Vegas really didn’t mean anything, he’s deceived himself, and as such, he loses the ability to be honest with his family or with God. To sustain the deception, he has to harden himself to any truth that would threaten to break that illusion, and over time he will have to build layer upon layer to protect it. Those layers then become an impediment to having a healthy relationship with either of them.
The Psalmist wrote, “Search me , O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24) I believe that opening our hearts to God, and allowing Him to reveal what is within us, is the first step in becoming a truly honest person. When we reach the point that we can be that honest with Him and with ourselves, I believe that He will empower us to walk with integrity before men. Until we reach that point, the credibility of our message will remain largely compromised.
Posted in Thought for the Day / Quotes | Tagged emotional honesty, honesty | Leave a Comment »
A weak leader generally creates a wall of oppressive rules, which he hopes to hide behind in times of trouble. While a strong leader is more likely to create reasonable boundaries, and to stand with confidence in the face of adversity. The weak one rationalizes that treating everyone the same makes him “fair”, while the strong one understands that failing to acknowledge the differences will ultimately render him “unfair”.
Posted in Thought for the Day / Quotes | Tagged fairness, leadership, unfair | 1 Comment »
Sometimes the first step toward being a cheerful giver is becoming a reluctant one.
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There is a significant difference between caring for a stranger, who you find naked and beat up along the road, and feeding a prodigal that you find living in a pigsty. The former presents an opportunity for the person to get to a better place, while the latter may actually help them to remain in the slop. Making the pigsty bearable can be the very thing that keeps a prodigal from ever humbling themselves and going home.
Posted in Parenting / Family, Thought for the Day / Quotes | Tagged helping, pigsty, prodigal | Leave a Comment »
Bjcorbin's Blog 
Thought for the Day – Molestation of the Mind
September 16, 2014 by bjcorbin
I am currently reading, “Foxe’s Book of Martyrs”, which was originally published in 1563. While fumbling through the old English text can be a little challenging, there are also some unusual phrases that really resonate. One of those is found in the description of the Apostle Andrew at the time of his martyrdom. Knowing what awaited him, Foxe describes Andrew’s state as he marched toward crucifixion. “Going toward the place, and seeing afar off the cross prepared, did neither change countenance nor colour, neither did his blood shrink, neither did he fail in his speech, his body fainted not, neither was his mind molested, nor did his understanding fail him, as it is the manner of men to do”.
While this is no doubt a beautiful portrait of unshakable faith, I was especially taken with the image of a mind that has been “molested”. The word molestation has some interesting inferences, which makes it especially meaningful in this context. Molestation almost always involves a child, or at least an innocent. It also tends to be initiated by someone close to the victim, like a family member, a teacher, a coach, or maybe even an older child. Often, the perpetrators of such crimes wrap their insidious intent in a cloak of legitimate authority, empathy, or even affection. Because of this guise, these predators generally don’t have to break down the door, as their unsuspecting victims willing let them in. And in all of this I see profound parallels to the manner in which our minds become corrupted from pure and simple devotion to the person of Jesus Christ.
More so than the hollow and deceptive philosophies of this world, I sense that it is the false doctrines of religion that have most defiled our understanding of Christ, and His Kingdom. Generally, these things came to us when we were as yet still children in the faith, and dressed in their priestly robes, we succumbed to their implied authority. Years later, and far removed from those circumstances, the taint of these formative experiences continues to stain our thinking, and distort our vision. Like Andrew, the key to our freedom lies within a genuine relationship with the man Jesus. We need to get past those things which have simply come to represent Him, and engage with Him actively and directly.
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Posted in Commentaries, Thought for the Day / Quotes | Tagged Jesus, religion | 1 Comment »