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4 Days and Counting

This has been a week filled with momentous occasions. On Tuesday, our daughter Katelyn turned 21 years old (her first baby is due next month). On Wednesday our son Patrick turned 15 years old (he’ll be driving this summer), and on Thursday, both my Father-in-law, and his mother, celebrated birthdays as well (Grandma is in her nineties and still lives in her own home). To be sure, each one of those events was significant in its own right. But despite their importance, it may have been a phone call this morning (i.e. Friday) that provided the most profound moment of the week; and it came from a little heroin addict named Carleen.

Carleen isn’t just an “anybody” to us; she is a “somebody”. We first encountered her many years ago, at a church service. She was weeping at an altar, when my wife’s strong mothering instinct was stirred to help her. We’d not seen her before, but the dark circles around her eyes and the tattoos on her body gave us a clue that her journey hadn’t been easy. Turns out that Carleen had been born into a hellish situation, where she’d been ravaged by her own father (and the men he’d bring home) from the time she was a little girl. She was 13 years old and pregnant (by a man who eventually went to prison for attempted murder), when her father threw her out and branded her a “whore”. By the time we met her, she was in her twenties and raising two kids by herself.

The years since have been a roller coaster of triumph and tragedy. We were there as she reconciled with her daughter’s father, Noah and for the birth of her third child. We were there when Noah received the miraculous news that he’d get a kidney transplant; and when she graduated from nursing school. But then we also stood with her in court, as she testified to the abuse that precipitated the end of that marriage, and rushed to the hospital when her baby lost most of her arm in a lawnmower accident. We’ve watched her son get arrested repeatedly and battle drug addiction, and we got the call when Noah died in her living room during a visit with the girls. As she spiraled back into heroin addiction it has been excruciating to watch her life unravel, including the loss of the nurse’s license she worked so hard to get.

At Christmas, she felt as though God reached out to her and sent some wonderful strangers to bless her family. And she resolved, once again, to try to get clean in the New Year. In recent weeks, she’s been trying to kick the heroin cold turkey, because going to rehab could cost her custody of her kids. She didn’t make it the first time, but she called us this morning to say that she was on day 4 without a fix.

I’ll admit that it’s not easy to battle the cynical thoughts about how likely she is to beat this thing. We’ve come too far and seen too much to be naive. To make matters worse, as I prayed this morning I had a vision of me preaching her funeral. It’s hard to say whether that is a picture of the future or just God’s way of reminding me what’s at stake. But either way, it’s tough. It’s tempting to try to protect your heart in these moments, but to do that would rob Carleen of the love she needs from us right now.

4 days may not seem like much, but it’s an eternity for an addict. I’m proud of my girl and we’re going to keep fighting for her as best as we know how. Tomorrow, I hope that we’ll get another call and be celebrating day 5. Please pray for our precious Carleen.

It seems that those who pride themselves in their ability to read between the lines often neglect the understanding of what is written on them.

The difference between the possible and the impossible is I (A)m.

Just wanted to let everyone know that my book, “The Ballad of Billy Turner” is now available on Amazon.com ($9.95 + shipping)and Kindle ($2.50). I’ve attached the synopsis below. Happy New Year!

After just a few years of teaching, Bob Davis felt fortunate to move into the school counselor position at the elementary school where he worked. Though he enjoyed the kids, he found the daily grind of the classroom to be somewhat oppressive, and was more than happy to transition into a new role. Things seemed to be going well until the day the school’s principal asked him to look into a playground incident involving two young boys, Billy Turner and Jared Lowe. Though Bob assumed that this was just a typical skirmish between a couple of 8 year olds, he quickly discovered that he was wrong. At the time, he had no way of knowing that the repercussions of this incident would ultimately change the trajectory of his life. In fact, it is not until he encounters Billy, twenty-five years later, that he comes to fully appreciate the scope of what was set in motion on that day. This story of how one little boy’s life touches the lives of those around him is “The Ballad of Billy Turner”.

The Ballad of Billy Turner

Today is the first day of my fiftieth year, and it’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that I’ve been on the planet for half a century.  For most of my life I wouldn’t have guessed that I’d make it this far.  To say that I struggled in the early years would be an understatement, but I was blessed to be born to parents who persevered with me, and a couple of big brothers who saved my life a time or two.  Though there were many days that I thought might be my last, I eventually learned to just keep going, and now I’m glad I did.  Along the way there have been many mistakes, and lots of good friends, and great struggles, and moments of incredible beauty.  I have been loved, and ridiculed, and ignored, and loved again.  There have been times when I’ve glided on top of the waves and times that I got water up my nose.  But tonight, as I sit here in the quiet, I know that I am incredibly blessed.  Thank you Jesus for your amazing patience and mercy.  Thank you for loving me, even when I was ignoring you.  Thank you for the wonderful family you brought me from, and thank you for the beautiful family that you’ve given to me.  Thank you for using the foolish things to confound the wise, and thank you for allowing me to share the journey with people who’ve truly loved me.  I pray that in the days that I have left there will be something about my life that blesses your heart and fulfills your plan.  Thank you for 50 years and every year beyond that.

When you grow up in your father’s cornfield, you can convince yourself that you know something about farming.  But over time, a lack of good seed, and neglect of the soil, take their toll.  With each successive generation expecting more, and less willing to replenish the land, a once fruitful plain slips into barrenness.  Such is the story of America, where we’ve scoffed at the wisdom of those who came before us, and find ourselves reaping of the hybrid seed we’ve chosen to sow.

As human beings we tend to look to our past and say, “this is how I’ve always been,” which effortlessly becomes, “this is who I am.”  From there it is easy to conclude that, “this is who God made me to be.”  Then, as He did with Gideon, God sends us a messenger to tell us that He made us to be something greater (e.g. a mighty man of valor).  But like Gideon, we point to our history, and doubt that this is truly the word of the Lord.  For us, the strongholds of our mind (i.e. what we’ve already accepted to be fact) become the barrier to the genuine liberating power of the truth.

There is a loneliness that is more profound than simply being alone, and it is experienced when we join ourselves with someone who places no value in who we really are.  There is a rejection that is more devastating than the sense that we are simply not attractive, and it is experienced when we discover that we have become nothing more than an apparatus to fulfill our partners needs.  There is an emptiness that is more desolate than simply being ignored, and it is experienced when the person we are closest to does not respect nor encourage us.  Ultimately, we are better off taking the journey on our own, than to travel in the company of one whose apathy shouts our insignificance.

The danger for parents, preachers, teachers, and coaches is that when the people we’re trying to reach don’t respond in the way we think they ought to, we can unwittingly take on the voice of “The Accuser” (e.g. your don’t think you have to listen to me, you think you know better than me, you’re awfully quiet out there – I must be stepping on some toes, you don’t really care, you’re just lazy, you have an attitude…) .  When our zeal to get our point across provokes us this way we ultimately undermine the value of our message.  We cannot lose sight of the fact that our role is to plant and water seeds, and that only God can bring the increase.

1.     Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Gene Autry):  Even though the story had been written some years before (1939), it could be argued that Autry’s version of this song (1949) was the sleigh that launched Rudolph to a worldwide audience.  As the first #1 song of the 1950’s, it eventually went on to sell over 12 million copies.   Autry’s warm folksy rendition has never been surpassed (though the 1960’s television special made Burl Ives version of the song a holiday staple as well).

2.     The Christmas Waltz (Frank Sinatra):  While many believe that Frank also nailed the definitive version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”, “The Christmas Waltz” manages to capture both the holiday spirit and the classic Sinatra style.  Except for the Christmas oriented lyrics, it’s not hard to imagine this song fitting nicely on any of his Nelson Riddle era albums.

3.     Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow (Dean Martin):  This song was a perfect vehicle to combine Martin’s gifts as a crooner with his naturally playful personality.  It also served to reinforce his reputation as something of a ladies’ man, as it turns out to be one of the more romantic holiday songs of the Christmas season.

4.     Jingle Bell Rock (Bobby Helms):  At the time of this recording (1957) Bobby Helms was a rising country music star.  The song itself was meant to capture both the holiday feel of “Jingle Bells” and the emerging popularity of “rock and roll”.  With its catchy, easy-going, style, it has managed to become an enduring classic in the years since.

5.     Holly Jolly Christmas (Burl Ives):  As an accomplished actor and folk singer, Burl Ives was picked to voice the character of “Sam,” the snowman, in the 1960’s TV special, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”  Johnny Marks, who’d composed the original Gene Autry hit, was also brought in to do some additional music for the show.  “Holly Jolly Christmas” was one of those compositions, and it went on to become a holiday standard in its own right. 

6.     Sleigh Ride (Arthur Fiedler & the Boston Pops):  Although Leroy Anderson originally composed this piece and went on to have a big hit record with it in the 1950s, Arthur Fiedler & the Boston Pops have the distinction of doing the original recording in 1949.  In the years since it has become something a signature song for that revered orchestra. 

7.     Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree (Brenda Lee):  Recorded in 1958, when Lee was only thirteen years old, this song eventually became the biggest selling record of her long and illustrious career.  Like a couple of other classics on this list, it was also composed by Johnny Marks.

8.     Blue Christmas (Elvis Presley):  While this song was originally recorded in 1948, and had been remade by numerous artists, it was Presley’s decision to include it on his 1957 Christmas album that propelled it to worldwide acclaim.  Released as a single in 1964, the song has become an indelible part of the Elvis legacy.

9.     The Christmas Song (Nat King Cole):  Written by notable composer/singer Mel Torme in 1944, Cole recorded the original version of this song in 1946.  Despite its immediate success, he chose to re-record the tune on multiple occasions in order to take full advantage of the developing recording technology.  The definitive version was completed in 1961 and featured a full orchestra and “Stereophonic” sound.  It still stands as one of the highlights of Cole’s stellar career. 

10.  White Christmas (Bing Crosby):  First recorded in 1942, and featured as part of the movie “Holiday Inn,” this song is considered the best selling single (>50 million copies) and record (including various albums, >100 million copies) of all time.  Its phenomenal success eventually led to the development of the 1958 movie “White Christmas,” which went on to build a holiday legacy of its own.  Crosby originated another holiday classic the following year (1943) with the bittersweet, “I’ll be Home for Christmas.”