True leadership isn’t about being large and in charge. It’s about modeling character, pointing others to the ultimate destination, and being the first to sacrifice for the good of the whole.
Posts Tagged ‘leadership’
Thought for the Day – Large & In Charge
Posted in Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged character, destination, in charge, leadership, sacrifice on December 13, 2023| 1 Comment »
Raising a “Born Leader”
Posted in Commentaries, Heart of "The Father", Parenting / Family, tagged born leader, leadership, leading by example, strong willed child on July 23, 2015| Leave a Comment »
At a very young age, my son Patrick was a take charge kind of guy, and I used to joke that even though he was a “born leader”, there didn’t seem to be anyone willing to follow a five year old. While that line was good for an occasional chuckle, it actually encapsulates a very real issue for those birthed with a calling to leadership. I believe that God equips us with the gifts and abilities needed to fulfill His divine purposes in our lives; and I don’t believe that they just magically appear when we need them. I sense they exist within us (often times in seed form) from the time we are born, and that they must be nurtured and cultivated along the way. If this is accurate, it may be more fitting to say, “born to be a leader”, as it acknowledges that one must grow into such a role. Even after the prophet declared that David would one day be king, no one bowed down to him. In fact, he was sent back out to the fields to tend the sheep (for years). Similarly, recognizing this calling in the lives of our children doesn’t mean that we should put them in charge of the nursery, or even let them pick out their own clothes.
While the idea that our kids could one day become “leaders of men” may sound glamorous, raising a child with classic leadership traits (e.g. fearless, proactive, outspoken, stubborn, independent…) can be a challenging endeavor. Such a child is generally classified as “strong-willed”, which some view as an affliction, or even a defect. I remember being told that I needed to “break” my son’s will/spirit while he was still young, but the Lord strongly impressed upon me that this was not His desire. He showed me that He’d put these qualities within the boy for a reason, and that I needed to help him to develop into the man he was created to be. Again, that sort of thing sounds good on paper, but how do you do it?
As I prayed, I sensed that the first step was to teach Patrick to recognize, and yield to “legitimate” authority. The scripture teaches us that fear (i.e. awe, reverence) of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It is the recognition that there is a power greater than ourselves, and that we are subject to it. No matter what position of leadership he might be destined for, learning to submit to those with genuine authority is an essential trait. Leaders who miss this step in their development generally become tyrants.
Another important concept was the proper application of the strength that God has given him. Helping him to understand that this power wasn’t meant to simply get him what he wants, but that it is intended to be a resource for God to protect and serve the children He loves. Ultimately, authentic leadership isn’t as much about controlling people, as it is about serving them. Leaders who fail to grasp this principle are likely to become bullies.
As we’ve travelled further along this path, I’ve sensed that the first charge for any emerging leader is to lead by example. For how can someone be trusted with the governance of others, when they are unable to govern themselves. In fact, good leaders often attain their position by simply walking with integrity, and finding that people have fallen in line behind them. While this organic emergence into a position of leadership is ideal, it isn’t always possible. But how a leader steps into that role is a critical factor. Those who seize power/control rarely hold onto it for very long, and are far more likely to have it ripped from their hands. Installation into a leadership position is best facilitated by those who possess legitimate authority over that position, or by the consensus of those who would be subject to it (e.g. electing a Union President or team Captain).
As time has gone on, I’ve come to recognize leadership qualities in all of our kids, and to understand that they are all called to lead in one capacity or another. At the very least, they will need to lead their families. As such, these principles apply to them as well. And while I don’t claim to be an expert on the subject, I would offer the following condensed list to anyone trying to raise a “born leader”.
Raising a “Born Leader”
- Don’t attempt to break their will/spirit, endeavor to mold it
- Teach them to recognize and yield to legitimate authority
- Teach them not to use their strength to oppress or abuse, but to protect and serve
- Teach them that they must first lead by example before they can expect an actual leadership position
- Teach them that positions of leadership are best when they are given, and not seized
Thought for the Day – Taking the Lead
Posted in Opinions, Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged being in charge, being your own boss, leadership, taking the lead on December 13, 2014| Leave a Comment »
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Thought for the Day – Fair Leadership
Posted in Thought for the Day / Quotes, tagged fairness, leadership, unfair on August 13, 2014| 1 Comment »
A weak leader generally creates a wall of oppressive rules, which he hopes to hide behind in times of trouble. While a strong leader is more likely to create reasonable boundaries, and to stand with confidence in the face of adversity. The weak one rationalizes that treating everyone the same makes him “fair”, while the strong one understands that failing to acknowledge the differences will ultimately render him “unfair”.
Us and Them
Posted in Commentaries, tagged admonishment, core values, correction, end times, experience, father, guarded, inclination, inheritance, leader, leadership, paradigm, rebuke, receive, sermon, skepticism, Sugar Daddy, testimony, them, training, trustworthy, us on September 18, 2025| Leave a Comment »
I have found that we as people tend to listen to testimonies differently than we do sermons. When we’re aware that someone is trying to influence our perspective there is a guardedness that rises up in order to protect our core values. We naturally evaluate the source of this new information, to see if it seems trustworthy or whether it might pose some type of threat.
We generally listen with a degree of skepticism until we establish some sense of connection to the provider of this alternate viewpoint. If internal alarms begin to sound in our head, it becomes very difficult to receive anything, regardless of the content of the message.
On the other hand, when someone tells their story we tend to be less guarded and to look for points of connection with their experience. When they speak of struggling as a child, we often recall our struggles as a child. When they testify to moments of despair, we generally remember our moments of despair. And when they share their moments of triumph, we are often reminded of our own redemption story. Even if their journey is very different than ours, we can relate to points of it in a very personal way.
I would describe these two dynamics as the “Us and Them” paradigms. New information is generally received through the “Them” portal (e.g. that’s your opinion, that’s your experience, that’s your interpretation, that’s fine for you, but…) until that data and its source are vetted through our internal filtering system. Once credibility is established, we can shift to the “Us” portal, where these things can be viewed as trustworthy and pertinent to our own experience.
I would also suggest that we tend to interpret the scriptures through these same information biases. We are naturally drawn to the passages about God’s faithfulness and the promises He’s made. We receive them through the “Us” bias because we view them as pertaining to us, and our lives.
But warnings about unfaithful Israel and the folly of the Pharisees are usually viewed through the “Them” lens, as we struggle to place ourselves in those contexts. There is a natural inclination to push such incrimination away from us. Within this pattern, God’s promises to His covenant people are banked in our account as part of our inheritance, yet somehow His warnings of straying hearts and a love of temporal things are seen as “Them” issues.
We’ve even developed theologies based on the idea that Israel’s unfaithfulness disqualified them from God’s promises, while God’s grace somehow justifies us in spite our own lack of fidelity. Once again, their transgressions are viewed through the “Them” lens (i.e. as pertaining to a certain people at a specific time and place), while God’s enduring patience is received through the “Us” channel (i.e. transcendent to time and space).
This pattern becomes even more troubling when viewed through the context of Jesus’ return. There are so many scriptures that appear to be warnings for individuals who count themselves as believers, or followers, or even disciples. Passages referencing a people who possess a form of godliness but deny the power thereof (2Tim.3:5), or who honor Jesus with their lips, but whose hearts are far from Him (Matt.15:8), and/or those who do things in His name, but don’t really know Him (Matt.7:21-23). Yet, if we process these words through the “Them” paradigm, refusing to entertain the possibility that He’s speaking to “Us”, we’re not likely to heed those cautions.
Similarly, the gospels prominently feature tales of Jesus’ adversarial relationship with the religious leaders of His day (i.e., Pharisees, Sadducees). His strong rebuke of their hubris and haughty attitude is obviously a cautionary tale for anyone who might assume the mantle of leadership within the church.
Yet the sad history of western religion is littered with corrupt, perverse, and even abusive leaders, who claim to represent Christ. It is not as if this topic is subtly addressed or thinly veiled within the scripture, but clearly the warnings have not been heeded. I have little doubt that this type of counsel is generally viewed through the “Them” lens.
Despite the fact that many Christians would say that we are fast approaching, or perhaps even living amid the “end times”, there seems to be little concern with regard to the Lord’s admonishments to the seven churches in the book of Revelation. Who is He speaking to with these warnings? What does it mean to forsake our first love (Rev.2:1-7), who are the false prophets that threaten to lead us astray (Rev.2:18-29), and what causes Him to view us as “lukewarm” (Rev.3:14-22)? If we process these words through the “Them” paradigm, we run the risk of being spewed from His mouth.
Paul asserted that “all scripture” is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training (2Tim.3:16), while the Hebrew writer reminds us that every good father chastens their children (Heb.12:5-8). If we want to claim the promises as our own, we must also be willing to receive the training and correction of the Lord. We cannot afford to have “Us” scriptures and “Them” scriptures, as we need to hear what the Spirit of the Lord is saying to the church in this very hour (Rev.2-3). If the only thing we can receive from Him is promises, blessings, or encouragement we diminish His role from that of a Father to that of a Sugar Daddy.
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