Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Free Verse / Poetry’ Category

Patient Grace

Posted in Free Verse / Poetry, Prayers, tagged , , on August 1, 2016| Leave a Comment »

You’re the One who gave me breath

even though You knew I’d use it to curse Your name

*

You’re the One that came off Your throne to find me

even though You knew I’d go my own way

*

You’re the One who gave me freedom

even though You knew I’d use it to liberate myself from You

*

You’re the One who gave me gifts

even though You knew I would use them to glorify myself

*

But in Your sovereignty You also knew;

that one day I would bless Your Holy name,

that I would find that my way leads to death

and

that I would see that apart from You there is no freedom nor glory

*

All praise and honor and glory be unto You O Lord

My hope and my salvation!

Read Full Post »

Hollow Mansion – Revisited

Posted in Commentaries, Free Verse / Poetry, Opinions, Social / Political, Word Pictures, tagged , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2016| Leave a Comment »

Our culture has an endless fascination with the rich and famous, which becomes especially acute when an iconic star passes away (e.g. Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston…).  Last week’s untimely death of pop music star, “Prince” is a case in point.  For days, or sometimes weeks, the media is saturated with images of the star, clips of weeping fans, tributes from other celebrities, intrigue about the facts surrounding their death, a sudden burst of interest in their catalog from decades ago, often times revisionist retrospectives of their body of work, a slow parade of alleged insiders who claim to have some new tidbit of information, and sometimes even a star-studded funeral to send them off.  We tend to view their life through the lens of their glorious accomplishments and their vast renown; but I would suggest that more often than not they pass from this life broken and alone.  The myth of fame and fortune is stripped bare by death.  I doubt seriously that anyone has ever asked that their gold records, or Grammy award, or Oscar, or Olympic Medal be brought to their bedside as they face their final minutes.  Ultimately, the quality of a life isn’t defined by its shiniest moments, but by those day to day instances when no one is looking.  In the end, it will be about who we have loved, and who has loved us.  The piece that follows is something I wrote years ago to portray the emptiness of such an existence.  For me, fame and fortune is like this hollow mansion.

*

Hollow Mansion

*

My eyes flick open to the dim light of the pre-dawn morning

and my head throbs with the dull ache of the night before

There is a beautiful woman lying beside me

but I find myself straining to remember her name

When she wakes, I’ll have to pretend that last night meant something to me

but for now, I couldn’t be more alone

*

As I stare at the ornate ceiling of this massive room

I can see all the cracks along its edges

They not only speak of the sandy soil on which this estate was built

they testify to the weak foundation of this new life that I have established

While everyone else’s eyes are naturally drawn to the beautiful gold trim

all I can see is the fractured façade

While they all seem to notice the extravagant furnishings in each room

I find myself focusing on the vast empty space created by every high ceiling

*

These thoughts take me back to the water stained ceiling of my childhood bedroom

and I find myself wondering whatever became of that little boy

I also remember lying awake in a little trailer, many years ago

wondering how I was going to support my young bride & our new baby

Back then, paying the bills was my greatest struggle

but now that those debts are more than covered, I’m struggling with the price that was paid

*

I’d trade everything I’ve gained to erase the hurt and confusion in my children’s faces

as I pulled our family apart on the way to making my own dreams come true

I’d give it all back for the woman who loved me

when I had nothing to offer other than a desire to share her life

I’d gladly forfeit the drafty halls of this hollow mansion

for the warmth of the place that I used to call home

I’ve finally figured out that it’s better to have one person who loves you for who you really are

than to have ten thousand who love the person they imagine you to be

*

Unfortunately, by the time I came to understand this, it was too late

As the raging waters of my desire had already swept away any moorings for a bridge back

So as the first rays of the sun begin to creep across the windows

I swallow a couple of painkillers to prepare for the day that lies ahead

And as the beautiful stranger lying next to me stirs from her sleep

I push my face into a smile and utter, “Good morning darling”

Read Full Post »

Be My “B” (A Player’s Anthem)

Posted in Free Verse / Poetry, Songs, tagged , on March 28, 2016| 2 Comments »

This is an unusual post for me (Bryan), and I hope you’ll find it offensive. I heard it in my head as a rap song, so that’s how I tried to write it. There is some explanation at the end.

“Be My ‘B’ (A Player’s Anthem)“

*

I’m sittin’ by myself…
Again my plans fell through
Got nothing goin’ on
So I’m reachin’ out to you

*

Certainly not my first choice
But for now you’ll have to do
Ur grateful for my attention
Not thinkin’ bout what’s true

*

Quick to give a shout back
I can always count on you
You got nothin’ goin’ on
And I’m tired of feelin’ blue

*

Don’t like to be alone
All them voices in my head
We could cuddle on the couch
Maybe make it to the bed

*

(chorus)
Come on little baby
And be my Plan “B“
Not sayin’ that it’s cheap
Fact is that it’s free
Ain’t talkin’ bout love
Cause it’s all about me
Come on little baby
And be my Plan “B”
(background singers echo – Be my, Be my “B”)

*

Again I’m feeling lonely
My plans ain’t workin’ out
Feelin’ sorry for myself
So I’m giving you a shout

*

We could chill at your place
Or ride around the town
But ya need to take the backseat
Case I want you to duck down

*

See I’m lookin’ for a starter
But I guess I’ll have to wait
So we can do some time
Til I find a ”real” date

*

You keep me on a pedestal
I’ll keep you on a shelf
Keep dreamin’ all about me
I’ll keep thinkin’ of myself

*

(Repeat chorus)
Come on little baby
And be my Plan “B“
Not sayin’ that it’s cheap
Fact is that it’s free
Ain’t talkin’ bout love
Cause it’s all about me
Come on little baby
And be my Plan “B”
(background singers echo – Be my, Be my “B”)

*

Need to pick up when I’m callin’
Ya know I’m keepin’ score
Keep you hangin’ by a thread
Keeps me comin’ back for more

*

We could do some dancin’
And let our bodies sway
When someone comes along
Need to get you out the way

*

Act like we got somethin’
Like you’ll win me in the end
The lie you tell is to yourself
You’re choosing to pretend

*

Don’t show me that sad face
Never promised what we’d be
Don’t be hatin’ on my stuff
Cuz, I’m just doing me

*

(Repeat chorus)
Come on little baby
And be my Plan “B“
Not sayin’ that it’s cheap
Fact is that it’s free
Ain’t talkin’ bout love
Cause it’s all about me
Come on little baby
And be my Plan “B”
(fade out with background singers repeating – Be my, Be my “B”)

*

I don’t know which is harder to understand, how someone can treat a person this way, or why someone would allow themselves to be a “Plan B”. Everyone deserves to be loved and cherished; everyone deserves to be someone’s “Plan A”. Don’t ever settle for being a backup plan. Wait for the one who’ll love you for who you are; who will care about making your dreams come true.

Read Full Post »

Multiple Choice Tests

Posted in Free Verse / Poetry, Heart of "The Father", tagged , , on March 28, 2016| Leave a Comment »

I, the Lord, have set before thee,

Life and death

Blessing and cursing

Truth and deceit

Generosity and greed

Perseverance and self-pity

Choose life!

*

I, the Lord, have set before thee,

Life and death

Blessing and cursing

Compassion and apathy

Sacrifice and indulgence

Peace and hostility

Choose life!

*

I, the Lord, have set before thee,

Life and death

Blessing and cursing

Fidelity and treachery

Gentleness and brutality

Redemption and condemnation

Choose life!

*

I, the Lord, have set before thee,

Life and death

Blessing and cursing

Integrity and corruption

Contentment and covetousness

Unity and dissension

Choose life!

*

I, the Lord, have set before thee,

Life and death

Blessing and cursing

Forgiveness and bitterness

Diligence and complacency

Grace and judgement

Choose life!

*

So that both you and your descendants may live (Deut. 30:19)

Read Full Post »

Thought for the Day – Survivor’s Guilt

Posted in Commentaries, Free Verse / Poetry, Word Pictures, tagged , , , , , on April 25, 2015| 1 Comment »

“Survivor’s Guilt” is a term used to describe a mental & emotional state, that arises when a person perceives themselves to have done something wrong, by surviving a traumatic event when others did not.  And while this term is most often associated with life and death situations, I would argue that this same phenomenon can occur in people who simply choose to get off the path of destruction.  That could be overcoming addictions, or leaving an abusive situation, or deciding to surrender your life to God, or any other thing that causes a radical change in the trajectory of our lives.  As I think back on my own experiences, I can see that the decision to depart from certain destructive patterns has often had the unintended consequence of alienation from people I genuinely cared about.  All I really wanted was to escape the carnage, but that often entailed distancing myself from those who couldn’t, or wouldn’t, negotiate that same turn.  In those life-altering moments, you have to seize the opportunity, push every hesitation aside, and drive yourself across the threshold of a new life.  But after the fact, it’s easy to feel guilty about those you left behind.  I expressed some of those feelings in a piece I wrote some years ago, which I called, “Homeless” (see below).  It was bore out of the revelation that my decision to pursue God had put me on a different path from some people that I truly loved, which eventually caused us to live in very different worlds.  Sometimes the chasm between those worlds has been too wide to reach across, and you can begin to feel selfish; as though you are the kind of person who is unwilling to run back into a burning building.  But ultimately, it’s a real struggle to convince someone to evacuate their home, when they can’t smell the smoke, or sense the flames.  And trying to save a drowning person, when you yourself can barely swim, generally ends with two funerals.  I have found that the only person who can really change a heart, mind, or life is God; and that all rescue attempts must be orchestrated by Him.  We just need to prayerfully stand at the ready, and play whatever role He assigns to us.

 

Homeless

As the shadows begin to crawl across the walls of my little room

The memories emerge from the corners of my mind

Not so long ago, we roamed these streets together

And I guess we thought that’s how it would always be

But here I am living a couple of floors above the pavement

And you’re still out there somewhere

*

I admit that this place isn’t much of a home

But it has running water

And is shelter from the weather

And it has a door that locks

And most of all

It has room for you

*

I never meant to leave you behind

I just assumed you’d want to come with me

But what I saw as a pathway to freedom

You viewed as a cage door

I can’t pretend to understand that

But I miss you just the same

*

I remember the time I stepped on that broken glass

And you wrapped my bloody foot in your only shirt

And the times we huddled together in the cold

And the way you’d hum the tune to “Silent Night”

Because of you, I never felt alone

And yet, that’s how I left you

*

I’m sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to stay

But when you can’t lift your head, you’re apt to drown in a puddle

It wasn’t so much the eating from the dumpsters

Because everyone does that at one time or another

But I couldn’t handle the never ending nights

And the hopelessness of it all

*

Tonight, I’ll once again leave a light burning

And I’ll unfurl the bed sheets from my window

I’ve tied them together so that they’ll reach the alley below

And I’ve anchored them to the radiator to support your weight

As I lay awake, every peep from the alley will stir my hope

And when I sleep, I’ll dream of you

Read Full Post »

50 Shades of Gray – Revisited

Posted in Commentaries, Entertainment/Music/Sports, Free Verse / Poetry, Opinions, Social / Political, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2015| Leave a Comment »

I originally wrote this piece when the “Fifty Shades of Grey” books were ruling the best seller list.  Now that the movie is being released, I find it sad to see how much further our society has progressed down this road.  Obviously, the “Grey” referred to in the title of the book is the name of the main character, but to be sure there is an intent of blurring the lines of what is reasonable and acceptable within the context of the story.  While the book tries to come on as some sort of psychological intrigue, the draw is ultimately the explicit sexual content.  It’s really just fluffed up porn, but we like to think of it as being somehow more sanitary and appropriate than renting videos from the local “Adult” superstore.  That seems to be the pattern in our culture.  We keep looking for ways to push the boundaries of what is acceptable, and then find ways to legitimize it in our minds.  We’ve got phenomenally popular artists like Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, and Nicki Minaj, who are trying to sell our young women on the idea that flaunting their anatomy will ultimately empower them, when in fact; it leads to the most ancient form of slavery known to mankind.  Check out the cover of the new Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.  We rationalize that this has something to do with sports or swimsuits, but it’s just another repackaging of the same old thing.  For most men (& boys), it will be the only Sports Illustrated they purchase this year.  All of these things are meant to activate the same trigger, and they do.  But like a patient who is provided with a button to dispense their own medication, we quickly find out that it never really gets us where we want to be.  We can convince ourselves that all of this is really harmless, but make no mistake; it’s carrying us, and more importantly our children, down a path that we are sure to regret.  The fruit of these things is already beginning to blossom, but we as a culture are unwilling to connect the dots.  There is no blindness as profound as the refusal to see.

 

50 Shades of Gray

There must be 50 shades of gray

Maybe even more

But they’re nothing more than shadows

And a place to lose our way

*

No one ever sets out to be a hypocrite, or a liar, or a cheat

Yet, every day we find a way

*

It’s not the things we call “evil” that so entangle us

It’s the things that we’ve justified as being “good”

*

It’s the pursuit of “having it all”, that so often costs us the things that matter most

*

*

There must be 50 shades of gray

Maybe even more

But they’re nothing more than shadows

And a place where we can hide

*

No one ever sets out to be an addict, or a prostitute, or a thief

Yet, every day we find a way

*

It’s not as much a question of our history

As it is the conclusions that we’ve drawn from it

*

It’s ultimately self-deception that paves the road to self-destruction

*

*

There must be 50 shades of gray

Maybe even more

But they’re nothing more than shadows

And a place for us to perish

*

No one ever sets out to be a pedophile, or a rapist, or a murderer

Yet, every day we find a way

*

Many of us choose to explore our dark side

But none of us ever finds the bottom of it

*

The poison gets harder to detect when you take it one drop at a time

*

*

There must be 50 shades of gray

Maybe even more

But they’re nothing more than shadows

And only the light can set us free

Read Full Post »

Pageant Girl Revisited

Posted in Free Verse / Poetry, Heart of "The Father", Parenting / Family, Social / Political, tagged , , , , , , on November 8, 2013| 3 Comments »

In my nearly half a century on the planet I’ve found that life rarely unfolds in the way that we imagine it will.  God, in His sovereignty, has His own unique way of making things happen and I’ve learned just to yield when I sense His hand at work.  In those moments it is best to be as a little child, who simply trusts the direction of his father, regardless of whether he really understands the purpose of it all.  And so it was one evening, a few years ago.  As I walked through the living room and saw about 15 seconds of a commercial for a new reality show about children’s pageants and the people who participate in them.  Within that snippet I saw a young girl (maybe 4 or 5 years old) sobbing, and her mother angrily venting her disapproval and bellowing, “I’m doing all of this for you!”  Rightly or wrongly, my immediate sense was that this woman was deceiving herself and no doubt doing untold damage to her child.

As a father of four (two boys and two girls) I was sickened at the thought of a parent who would be willing to crush their child under the weight of their own unfulfilled expectations.  Though I’d seen fathers do this to their sons on countless ball fields/courts, it was somehow even more startling to watch a mother do it to her daughter.  As my own heart grieved I sensed the grief of heaven join in and I quickly became overwhelmed with emotion.  As I closed my eyes to pray I began to feel the broken heart of this girl.  Strangely, it was not her heart in the instant that I had witnessed, but her heart years later, as she stood at the threshold of adulthood.  As I lingered in that moment, words began to flow and the following verses emerged.

Pageant Girl

Want you to know that I don’t blame you

You just wanted “the best” for me

You sacrificed so much to make me a winner

You deserved better

If I just could’ve stood a little straighter

If my hair wasn’t so stringy

All those cute little outfits

To you, sexy just meant playful

But playful meant something different to them

Anything you serve like an hors d’oeurve is bound to be devoured

If only I had been a better singer

If I just had fuller lips

I tried to smile for the camera

It’s what happened when the camera was off that made it hard

Thank God for makeup

The bruises & scars never showed

Maybe if I had been smarter

If I wasn’t so clumsy

You always said there was a price to pay

And I’ve tried hard to “live the dream”

Guess I must not have wanted it bad enough

You deserved better

If only I had been taller

If I wasn’t so flat-chested

Always in the court, but never the Queen

At nineteen, it’s already too late for me

The “1st Alternate” to the winner is still just a loser

Who could want me now?

If only I could have lost more weight

If my eyes weren’t so close together

I’m sorry for letting you down

For leaving the stage before the show is really over

I’m sorry about all of this blood on the floor

But as it weeps from my wrists, I feel strangely free

If only I could have been a daughter you could be proud of

 

It is hard to describe the profound nature of experiencing these emotions as though they were my own and maybe even harder to explain why God would allow me (a forty something year old man) to have such an experience.  The one thing I felt sure of was that I should try to legitimately speak from the heart of this precious child, and, in as much as I knew how, that is what this piece was about for me.  But after the emotion of the moment ebbed, I was faced with the daunting question of what to do with all this.  While I hoped that people might be touched by the devastating consequences of the unrealistic expectations that are so often heaped upon our children, I couldn’t help but wonder how I might answer the practical questions of where this writing came from and what made me credible to be its author.

Like a coward, I thought about sticking it into one of my many notebooks, where no one but God and I could find it.  But a dear friend reminded me that if God had indeed facilitated this experience, it must be for someone.  So I said a little prayer and posted it on my blog www.bryancorbin.com where someone might stumble upon it.  Within minutes, I received a response from a young woman, half way around the world, who said that she felt as though it had been written specifically for her.  She shared her own heartbreaking poem with me, where she cries out to a father who’d made her feel like a disappointment.  While I tried to share some uplifting words with her, our exchange was brief.  But knowing that someone had profoundly connected with it was all I needed to validate that there had been some purpose behind the whole experience.

Until recently, it has remained tucked away in the archives of my website and frankly, I had no plans to do anything more with it.  Of course, that doesn’t mean that God doesn’t have plans of His own.  Like fresh leaves in springtime, there seems to be new life emerging from these roots and hopefully the branches will reach even further in this season.  Upon reflection, I can see that this was about more than just girls who’ve suffered through the pageant circuit.  It is really for any child who’s been made to feel like they are less than what they were created to be.  And now, instead of simply being a stark picture of the pain that comes with that, a counterpoint of hope has been set upon the horizon.  With the benefit of hindsight, I realize that all I had was a single piece of the puzzle and that it wasn’t until that was combined with other pieces that a clearer, more beautiful picture emerged.  Such is the patience of God.  I pray that all of this will be a seed of hope and healing to those who would receive it.

Please go to http://youtu.be/KQSsXAsZGX0 to watch the video put together by our dear friends Vincent Wigh and Jose Bosque, and featuring the beautiful song, “You Know Me” by Steffany Frizzell.  If this touches you, please share it with others.  God bless.

Read Full Post »

Bury Me at Sea

Posted in Free Verse / Poetry, Word Pictures on July 11, 2013| 2 Comments »

At the edge of the dunes
I sense the distant thundering of the tides upon the shore
And as I plod across the scorching sand
I catch my first glimpse of your vastness
My pulse quickens with anticipation

When I reach the cool rim of the shoreline
Your mist reaches up and caresses my face
And as the grains of earth seem to evaporate beneath my feet
I feel myself crossing a threshold
And my soul cries out

Bury me at sea
Pull me into your pounding heart
And swallow me in your majesty

Bury me at sea
Crown me with your foamy crests
And dissolve me in your brine

Bury me at sea
Clutch me in your powerful arms
And carry me to your depths

Bury me at sea
Where the winds of this world cannot be felt
And in the realm of the unseen

Bury me at sea
So the ones I leave behind can visit
And remember that I’m with You

Read Full Post »

I Call You

Posted in Free Verse / Poetry, Heart of "The Father", Parenting / Family on May 1, 2013| Leave a Comment »

This came to me as I prayed for my daughters, but I feel certain that “He” meant it for all of “His” daughters.

I call you sweet melody
Because your heartstrings play a song for me
Don’t ever doubt its beauty

I call you priceless jewel
Because you’re handcrafted & one of a kind
Don’t ever doubt your worth

I call you secret garden
Because your joy is a sweet fragrance to me
Don’t ever open the gate to an intruder

I call you mighty warrior
Because I equipped you with amazing power
Don’t ever use it against yourself

I call you tiny sparrow
Because I’ve given you wings to fly
Don’t ever let them cage you

I call you hidden treasure
Because I’ve woven pure gold into the deepest parts of you
Don’t ever open your vault for a thief

I call you precious flower
Because I made you delicate and tender
Don’t ever trust a suitor who doesn’t bring gifts of water & sunlight

I call you little princess
Because your Father is a King
Don’t ever forget that you are my cherished daughter

Read Full Post »

Common Sense

Posted in Free Verse / Poetry on April 17, 2013| Leave a Comment »

When I smell the first blooms of Spring
I cannot refute the miracle of rebirth

When I touch the ones who are dearest to my heart
I cannot deny the power of life’s unseen forces

When I see the beauty and intricacy of all creation
I cannot ignore the evidence of an artisan and craftsman

When I hear the accusations that men render against God
I cannot overlook that only man’s fingerprints are found at crime scenes

When I taste the best that this world has to offer
I cannot help but yearn for something greater

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities –
His eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen,
being understood from what has been made,
so that men are without excuse (Romans 1:20)

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »