“Pride is not the by-product of confidence, it is the façade that we build around our deepest insecurities. Find me a man that is cloaked in arrogance and I’ll show you a man that is terrified at his core. Find me a man who is cloaked in genuine humility and I’ll show you a man who knows who he is.”
As the wheel begins to turn, the clay is centered in the middle of the hub. At this stage, it is little more than a pile of thick mud. But as the skilled hands of the craftsman take hold, something unique and functional emerges. Smoothing rough patches, building up thin spots, evening out the edges… the potter cannot rush the process if he hopes for his work to stand up to the fire of the kiln. As one hand forms the inner contour, the other shapes the external face; and it is only in the balance of these two forces that a usable vessel is created.
Indeed, our God is the potter and we are the clay; He has destined us to be conformed to the image of His Son and He is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in us. Though many a motivational speaker would have us believe that we are something more than mere clay, the fact remains that apart from God, we can do “nothing” (which literally means “no thing”). This of course doesn’t mean that we can’t busy ourselves with our own plans and strategies; it just means that, in the end, they won’t pass the test of fire. In Matthew’s gospel, Jesus doesn’t deny the claims of those who say, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles”; He simply says that He never knew them. Ultimately it is not about what is done “in His name”, it’s about what is done “in Him”.
Though the Lord most certainly uses the lives of mere men within His plan, I believe that it is only when those lives move in unison with the internal work that He’s doing in a heart that a fruitful outcome is achieved. Just like the potter’s wheel, it is the coordination of the internal and external forces that shape the vessel. That is why to those who are perishing the cross is foolishness; unless a heart has begun to yield to the wooing of the Lord (i.e. the internal force), it cannot comprehend the cross (i.e. an external manifestation). I also believe this is why so much of the church’s efforts to evangelize fall flat. Many have been taught that if we simply present the gospel the right way, it will bring people to Christ; but ultimately it is not the quality of our gospel seed, it is the condition of the soil to receive it. No one comes unless He draws them and hardened soil will not receive even a good seed. This is why true evangelism is rooted in genuine relationship and not simply handing out tracts at the mall. This point is even further bore out by the fact that the cross represents the power of God to those who are “being saved” (as opposed to just those who are already saved). Despite our boasts, only God Himself can truly claim to have led someone to Jesus.
It seems to me that a lot of religious activity is focused on our external work, without any real sensitivity to the corresponding internal work of God. Indeed, our Christian bookstores are filled with volumes on 10 ways to do this and 5 ways to do that. It’s unlikely that many of those instructions contain a step that says something like “wait on the Lord and act only after receiving direction from Him”. Within the potter’s wheel analogy, this type of formulaic activity is likely to be more distorting than productive. The litany of people, who would claim to have been wounded by their interactions with church and Christianity, would only seem to validate this premise.
I’ve long held that the “Great Commission” is something of a misnomer. Though undoubtedly God has called us to make disciples of all nations, the word “commission” often takes on the connotation of acting on someone’s behalf (i.e. independently from them) and that is not the context that scripture presents. We can read the Bible, but without the interaction of the Holy Spirit, we’re likely just to interpret the words to suit ourselves. We can consider ourselves the voice of truth, but without discerning the heart of God, we are more likely to cultivate oppression than freedom. We can tell people about Jesus, but without any real sense of what God is doing in their lives, it can be just like throwing seed on a parking lot. Jesus Himself said that He didn’t do anything until He saw the Father do it first; how presumptuous it is to assume that we’d be able to do otherwise. The apostle Paul exhorted us to walk in the Spirit, to live in the Spirit and to be led by the Spirit, which is essentially the same thing that Jesus described. Ultimately it is only when the two hands work in tandem that we can see genuine increase.
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As a person whose only graduation occurred more than a quarter century ago, I caught myself pondering what I might share with the young people who are taking this significant step in their journey. What follows are some things that came to mind.
1. Life is not a ride, it’s a journey. A ride is simply being carried along to wherever the vehicle happens to be going, while a journey has an ultimate destination, which requires some navigation and effort to complete. Unless we purpose in our heart to be someone or do something, we are likely to live life like a pinball; propelled by gravity and bouncing from one obstacle to another. Anything worthwhile in life will require some investment on our part; those who are unwilling to make such an investment will generally be pushed along by the winds of circumstance to some uncertain end.
2. Planting apple seeds won’t get you an orange tree. Just as dependable as the law of gravity is the concept that we will reap (i.e. harvest) what we sow (i.e. plant). Though this phrase is immediately recognizable to most people, there are few who actually live as though it were true. Our human nature will often cause us to be unforgiving with other people, while expecting generosity in return; to be deceptive about our motivations, while expecting others to deal with us honestly and to be selfish about our desires, while expecting others to be considerate of us. We must always remain conscious of the fact that the cup we use to dispense blessing, is the cup that we will eventually drink our blessings from.
3. What other people believe about you isn’t as important as what you believe about yourself. Only the things which we genuinely believe have the ability to impact how we live. Therefore the only words (positive or negative) that have the power to move us are those which we accept as truth. If a man concludes that he is a failure, no amount of praise or encouragement can bring him to victory; and if a man concludes that he is an over-comer, no amount of criticism can hold him back. While we are generally powerless to keep others from speaking about us, we possess the ultimate responsibility for what we are willing to accept as truth.
4. The bad guys don’t necessarily wear black, nor do the good guys necessarily wear white. It is very convenient to categorize people and things as either good or evil, but very few things (& even fewer people) actually fit well in either category. Because of our fallen nature, every man possesses the potential to do what is evil; and yet because we were created in the image of God, we also come with a capacity for righteousness. While few people are likely to pursue something that is clearly evil, all of us are susceptible to fall to those things which we have mistakenly classified as being “good”.
5. The pursuit of happiness is like chasing your shadow. Before we were in our mothers’ womb, God knew us and He created each one us to fulfill a unique place in His creation. If we never come to an understanding of what that place is, we spend our lives feeling empty and as though we never really fit in. Joy, contentment, fulfillment, happiness… cannot be the object of our pursuit; but undoubtedly they are the things that will accompany us if we pursue God and His purposes in our lives.
6. American Idolatry. In America we love the image of the rugged individualist, the “self-made” man and even the rebel; but because we were made to worship God, we will undoubtedly worship something and because we were made to be followers of God, we will undoubtedly follow something. Whatever we chose to worship and follow in this life will certainly be our provision in the next.
7. Don’t eat everything that is put in front of you. In the first chapter of the book of Daniel we see the Israelites being brought into exile, as the King of Babylon looks for the best & the brightest amongst their young people. His plan was to indoctrinate them into the Babylonian (i.e. pagan) way of thinking; and upon finding them he fed them from his very own table, which undoubtedly represented the best of what was available. We also learn that these young men were not willing to partake of everything that was set before them, which seems to have been a significant part of their preparation for the stunning victories that they would later experience (i.e. in the lions den & in the fiery furnace). Just as it was then, there is now a prince, who is seeking the best & the brightest young minds amongst God’s chosen people, so that he might indoctrinate them in the ways of this fallen world. Like their brothers from long ago, these young people must also be discerning of what is being offered and what they should digest.
8. Don’t chase the “American Dream”. The “American Dream” began simply as a promise of opportunity and freedom; but as that promise was realized, the dream evolved into something much less virtuous. Pursuit of this dream drives us to be more focused on what is seen (i.e. temporary) than on what is unseen (i.e. eternal); to prioritize our desires above the needs of others; and to derive our sense of worth & security from things instead of from our Creator. Like any dream, we are all destined to one day wake up and in that day we will face the ultimate reality, which is eternity.
9. Expect to meet resistance. We live in a culture that is obsessed with winning and that tends to portray the road to victory as a glorious parade; but the truth is that unless there is resistance, there is nothing to make us grow stronger. If the Son of God (a man with perfect faith), learned obedience from the things He suffered, we can be sure that this will be a part of our journey as well. As Children of God, we’ve been issued armor, given a sword and been called more than conquerors; undoubtedly the God who foreknew us was telling us what to expect.
10. You can always come home. All of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God; undoubtedly this will be true in the years to come as well. In God’s mercy He does not require perfection of us, but He does expect sincerity. He is faithful to reward those who “diligently seek Him” and to work all things to the good of those who “love Him” and who are “called to His purpose”. Remember that no matter where your journey takes you, you’ve never traveled beyond the boundaries of His love.
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The book of Proverbs says that the way a man chooses to think will ultimately define who he is; and while many people in our society like to consider themselves a victim of circumstance, the aforementioned concept really puts the onus of responsibility squarely on the individual. Undoubtedly, many have suffered through difficult situations; but even so, we all still have the choice as to how we view our circumstances, ourselves, other people, the past, the present, the future… Ultimately, how we think will drive how we feel and in western culture, how we feel will likely shape our conception of reality. If light of this, taking a hard look at our thought patterns ought to give us a clearer picture of who we’ve actually become; and any efforts toward personal growth would seem to be rooted in a change to our thought process. Though there are some who might claim that we have no control over the thoughts that “pop into our head”, I believe that we are far more in control of that than we’d like to admit. In a sense our minds are a lot like our personal computers and as such, I offer the following:
Filters/Anti-Virus Programs: In our culture the idea of being “open minded” has become the only politically acceptable option; as if completely open or completely closed were the only viable choices. While I’m certainly not an advocate of a closed mind, prudence dictates that not just any thought should be entertained. Just as with our computers, there are some things that have the potential to come in and bog down our system operation or to completely disrupt its function. Just like a computer virus, there are some patterns of thought that threaten to infect other parts of our mind and ultimately the whole of our being. As such, we need to recognize that some things ought to be off limits and to protect our systems from those things. While most people wouldn’t dream of trying to operate their computer systems without some form of network protection, I would submit that many operate with no such constraints on their thoughts.
Pop-Ups/SPAM: Even when we do protect our systems, there are things that find their way onto our screens and when that happens, it often requires immediate attention. Unsolicited messages, from unknown sources, need to be evaluated before opening; infected messages must be quarantined and safely eliminated; and pop-ups generally just need to be deleted without regard. Clicking on some sites (even just once) can open up a world that can be hard to escape. As with our computers, the longer it takes for us to recognize the detrimental element of these things, the greater the damage done. While we may not always be able to control who shows up at our door, we can control who we let in.
Wallpaper: One of the great features of today’s computer and/or cell-phone screens is the ability to customize the background (i.e. “wallpaper”). On my cell-phone screen you’ll undoubtedly find pictures of my kids underneath the bright digits of the current time and the functional icons that default there. And while most of us will generally pick some cheerful image for our computer screens, the background of our mind often isn’t so festive. When we choose to hold on to the hurts/fears/disappointments/betrayals… of the past, we in a sense make this the “wallpaper” of our minds. In that case, everything that comes onto our screens is viewed against the backdrop of those painful experiences, thus tempering any joy and/or potential healing that might come our way. Just as with our computers, I believe that we ultimately control what image populates our default screen.
Screen Saver: Even if we’ve pretty much overcome the troubles of our past, most of us have issues going on presently which seem to want to dominate our thoughts. When we become overly focused on those issues, their proportions can easily become distorted. Suicide victims often have many positive aspects to their lives, but their focus on one particular situation or aspect generally causes them to completely lose sight of those things. When we dwell on one specific issue to excess, we in affect make it the “screen saver” for our mind. It becomes the place that our thoughts naturally gravitate back to when our mind is not actively engaged in something else. When we allow ourselves to obsessively worry about such issues, it can become like setting your screen saver to come on at every 15 second pause. You wind up having to constantly push that image from the screen in order to get anything else done. In such a case, we need to recognize that we’ve lost our perspective and that it will take action on our part to change our system settings.
Just as few people would leave their personal computer system completely unprotected, it seems doubtful that many would use images of their most traumatic, painful or humiliating moments as their “wallpaper” or “screen saver”. Yet I would submit that many of us are handling our thought life in this way. If that is the case, maybe it’s time to change those settings to something more uplifting and hopeful. Though this change may require more than just the punch of a button, the decision to press that button is a beginning in and of itself.
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The longer that I walk the journey of faith the more that I am convinced that our relationship with God is only as close as we want it to be and that if we feel that God is distant; it is because we’ve not done our part in cultivating that relationship. The scripture says that if we’ll draw close to Him, He will draw close to us; that if we’ll seek Him, we will find Him; and that if we’ll open the door to Him, He will come in. In every case, we’re called to take the first step and God promises to be responsive. Along the way I’ve encountered those who claim to be seeking Him and not finding Him, but I’ve noticed that many times these ones aren’t really as interested in finding Him as they are in finding something that they believe He can give them. In such cases, their faith and hope is not rooted in the person of God, but in that “something” that they believe that He can provide for them.
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It seems to me that our first step toward God is generally driven by the realization of our need for Him; and while that is a necessary step, it is important that we not stop there. If our need becomes the motivation, the fulfillment of that need will generally cause us to cease our pursuit. In the scripture, we see an example of this in the story of the ten lepers. These men understood that they had a need and on some level they believed that Jesus could address that need; but once their issue was resolved, nine of them couldn’t even be bothered to come back and say thank you. We frequently see this in churches today; where a circumstance will drive a person to cry out to Jesus, but once that circumstance is resolved, we never see them again. Such a person can claim to believe in Jesus and they may even have a testimony of how He’s worked in their lives; but they cannot necessarily claim to have a relationship with Him or even to be a part of His family.
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This needs based pursuit of God can be taken a step further, in that we can come to view Him as the source of all good things and therefore the provider for all of our needs. This too is a valid revelation to have, but again it keeps our needs at the center of our motivation and it doesn’t necessarily drive us toward relationship. I believe that the man healed through Peter and John at the gate (called Beautiful) to the temple could be symbolic of this mindset. He sat at the gate everyday, presumably because he recognized some virtue in God’s people and maybe even in what was going on there; but he himself didn’t feel as though he could enter in. Today, there are many in the church that come because they recognize that they have needs and that God has the ability to meet those needs; but they don’t feel personally connected to Him and/or as though others have been afforded access that hasn’t been granted to them. Such people can be identified by their tendency to exalt gifted ministers, to drift away when their needs are being met and to be angry with God when they perceive lack in their life. While it is Gods’ heart to meet the needs of His people, this paradigm threatens to reduce the mission of the “Body of Christ” to little more than that of a benevolent service organization (e.g. the Lions Club, Meals on Wheels…).
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It seems to me that Gods intent since the fall of man has been to reconnect us to Him and that the hindrance to this has always been our insistence on doing things our own way. The Ark of the Covenant, the Temple, Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, the tearing of the veil, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit… all demonstrate His desire to be in “direct” relationship with His people and yet mankind continues to find ways to squander these provisions. While the Lord revels in His role as our provider, His heart is to be so much more than that. The temple was never meant to be a monument to an historical God, it was meant to be a place to encounter the living God (i.e. in the present tense). As the Lord meets us at the place of our need, our thankful hearts bring us into the gates and our praise draws us into the courts. As He inhabits our praise, the tangible sense of His nearness moves us to the place of genuine worship (i.e. in Spirit and in truth) and of submission to His will. As we step toward Him, He steps towards us and His glory is revealed. As we behold His glory, we are transformed by it and we begin to reflect His image. Like Moses coming from the mountain or the Apostles emerging from the Upper room, our “unveiled faces” reflect His glory and it becomes apparent to those around us that we’ve been in His presence. Through this reflection of His glory within us, He draws men unto Himself and His commission for us is fulfilled.
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We can be truly grateful for what He’s done and even be willing to sing His praises, yet never reach the place of genuine worship, submission, relationship, transformation or of Him being glorified in us. We can continue on to the place of worship, submission and even relationship, yet if we never get close enough to behold the glory of the Lord, it is doubtful that His glory will ever be revealed in us. Within the Charismatic movement there is much ado about “the anointing” (i.e. the spiritual gifts & supernatural abilities given by God for the work of ministry), which is no doubt a tremendous blessing; but it was never meant to become a substitute for the manifest presence of God (i.e. the glory). This emphasis on “the anointing”, without a corresponding pursuit of the person of God, only serves to divert our focus from the “Author & Finisher of our faith” and onto ministers and ministries. Evidence that such an imbalance exists would include ministers who are treated like superstars and church members who experience little or no genuine transformation. At the gate called beautiful, Peter & John did not give the crippled man what he thought he needed (i.e. money); instead they allowed the glory of God to be revealed in them. Beyond the physical healing that this man experienced, it says that he entered into the temple with them and that he praised the Lord. As we’ve become the temple of His Holy Spirit, we need to remember that the glory cloud did not descend upon the temple from the sky, but that it rose up from within the temple. It is Christ “in” us that is the hope of glory; and all of creation continues to wait in eager expectation for the revealing of the sons of God.
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A Few Good Men: Both an outstanding screenplay and a superb cast make this film an instant classic. Jack Nicholson, Kiefer Sutherland, and Kevin Bacon are excellent as always, while Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, and Kevin Pollak also deliver exceptionally strong performances. The script is full of incredible dialogue, tense exchanges, and memorable one-liners.
A Walk to Remember: A love story where someone is able to reach beyond their own selfish desires and genuinely care about someone else is a rare and beautiful gift. Though this clearly falls in the “Chick Flick” section, it absolutely works for me.
Remember the Titans: It’s hard to resist a good underdog story, or anything that Denzel Washington does. Add a great assembly of young actors, and some wonderful old songs from that era and you’ve got a recipe for success. The fact that it’s based on a true story makes it even better.
Field of Dreams: This dreamlike tale of a seemingly magical corn field, and ghost players from the past is full of twists and turns, which eventually lead to a homerun finish.
The Ultimate Gift: A great story that drives home what really matters in life. This young man’s transformation is both believable and moving.
August Rush: This unconventional tale of an orphan who finds his way back to a family that didn’t realize they’d lost him, is hauntingly beautiful. It is filled with wonderfully subtle performances from Freddie Highmore, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, and Keri Russell, juxtaposed against an almost menacing performance by Robin Williams. The transcendent story is also accompanied by a soundtrack full of memorable music.
October Sky: The inspiring story of Homer Hickam, and the “Rocket Boys” emergence from a small mining town in West Virginia is what making movies is all about.
Forever My Girl: This story of a country music star, whose unplanned return to his hometown brings him face to face with the girl he left at the altar, and the daughter he didn’t know he had, is markedly better than your typical Hallmark movie. Definitely a cut above what passes for romance these days.
Touchback: Though the story revolves around football, this is not really a sports movie in the truest sense. Ultimately, it is about the choices we make, the consequences that come with that, and what truly matters in the end.
The Shawshank Redemption: Based on the Stephen King novella, “Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption”, this movie features a great story, beautifully told. Tim Robbins nuanced performance, and Morgan Freeman’s narration throughout lift the relentlessly dark subject matter to something more profound and hopeful. The conclusion of this journey is one of the most satisfying in movie history.
Posted in Entertainment/Music/Sports, Lists, Personal | Tagged A Few Good Men, A Walk to Remember, August Rush, Field of Dreams, Forever My Girl, movie, October Sky, Remember the Titans, The Shawshank Redemption, The Ultimate Gift, Touchback | 5 Comments »
Bjcorbin's Blog 
Growing Up
May 27, 2010 by bjcorbin
There is probably very little in this life that can change your perspective more than having children. It not only changes how you view yourself, but how you view the world and what life is really all about.
Our oldest daughter will be a Senior next year and her teen years have been an eye opening experience for us. With three other kids just reaching adolescence, I shudder at the thought of what the next 5-7 years might bring our way. God help us!
It’s funny how your kids start out believing that you know everything and how quickly they come to decide that you really don’t know anything. They become convinced that you’ve never faced what they’re facing or that you’ve forgotten what it was like; but the truth is that more often it’s that we remember just how it was and that’s what worries us.
In watching and listening to teens I sense that most feel as though their parents are against them having any fun and that adults enjoy messing up their kids’ plans. I believe the fact of the matter is that most parents want their kids to enjoy themselves, but that they can see what their kids are often blind to. Kids tend to think in the short term, while parents are more tuned to the long term.
As I pondered what my kids might be like when they’re “grown up”, I had to ask myself exactly when that will be; is it when they’re 18, or 21, or is it even age dependent? I immediately thought of some folks who are in their 50’s and 60’s, who I don’t think have quite reached “grown up” status yet; so I bagged the notion that this happens at a certain age.
As I tried to pin down the defining characteristics of being “grown up”, there were three that stuck out.
One of the most prevalent characteristics of children is their self-centeredness. As cute and lovable as they are, in their minds everyone and everything is meant to be about them. A baby doesn’t care if you haven’t slept or that you have to get up early or that you’re sick; all it knows is that it is hungry or cold or afraid or uncomfortable…
Unfortunately this self centeredness is a part of our nature and none of us completely conquer it, but hopefully as we mature we learn to consider the needs of others and begin to enjoy serving as much as being served.
As we get older sometimes this selfishness becomes a little more covert. We may not throw ourselves on the floor and cry, but we may frequently find ourselves offended, as though everything that is being said or done is specifically aimed at us.
Through my experience I’ve come to believe that most of the people who’ve hurt me didn’t necessarily set out to do so, they just didn’t consider how I might be effected by their actions (i.e. inconsiderate or thoughtless as opposed to malicious or mean); this tends to make forgiveness a lot easier.
People who are self centered often struggle to forgive, because they’ll generally believe that people went way out of their way to hurt them. I believe that this is rarely as true as we believe. One of the most liberating discoveries of my life has been the understanding that it is not all about me.
Another important aspect of maturing is taking responsibility for our life. Often when you try to hold a child accountable, they’ll have a million excuses and none of them will be “It was my fault” or “I made a bad choice”. Bad grades are undoubtedly because the teacher doesn’t like me; bad play will likely be because of a bad coach or bad teammates; messy rooms will probably be because of friends or little brothers or sisters.
A milestone in anyone’s life is gaining the understanding that while you may not be able to control other people and/or situations, you can control how you respond; that what “they did” has no power over me as long as I choose to let it go. Once you have that revelation, you never have to feel powerless again.
As long as we blame others for our problems and/or unhappiness, they will remain a powerful influence over our lives. This is often seen in adult relationships. When two people divorce they often blame each other and fail to take responsibility for the role they played in that failure.
When that happens, you’ll see those people struggling with these same issues years after the fact and often they’ll walk right back into the same type of bad situation. Sometimes you’ll see people with three or four marriages play out the identical scenario over and over again. The only responsibility that they’ll accept is that they’re bad at picking mates.
Even when we’ve been terribly wronged, if we will accept responsibility for the role that we played in a situation, it frees us from carrying that damage on and from repeating that destructive cycle.
Another significant step is the understanding that boundaries are meant for our protection and well being. Children resent boundaries and teens often disdain them even more. They generally don’t understand that these things are bore out of love and concern for them; in fact they’ll generally believe quite the opposite.
This is also a strong part of our nature and simply put it is rebellion. As with these other characteristics, we can see this plainly in adults as well. We all know people who disdain the government, paying taxes, following speed limits, the boss who expects them to be at work on time, the Pastor who doesn’t do it the way they want it, the Ref who makes a call against their team…
As we mature, hopefully we come to the realization that all these things were put in place to help and in some cases protect us. With that understanding, it is not a burden to comply.
I guess the reason to ponder all of this is that these principles work the same way in our relationship to God. He says that we need to esteem others higher than ourselves, that it is better to give than to receive, that we ought to serve others instead of seeking to be served and that we shouldn’t try to gain our life.
If making ourselves comfortable and happy is our top priority, we are really little more than selfish children; who will likely require more goodwill than we’ll ever dispense.
Taking responsibility is also a big step in our relationship with God, because without it we cannot reach forgiveness. The way we are forgiven of sins is through repentance and if we are unwilling to acknowledge our failures, there can be no repentance. Repentance is not being sorry; it is changing our mind and our direction. Unless we’ve taken responsibility for where we’re at, we will likely just wait for somebody or something else to change.
Finally, part of “growing up” in the Lord is when we begin to follow His guidance not out of fear of His judgment, but out of the understanding that His view is much bigger than ours and that He’s got our best interest in mind. When we grasp that truth, the walk of faith isn’t drudgery and we don’t sit around feeling as though we’re missing the “good stuff”.
We live in a culture that idolizes youth and in which “growing up” is not necessarily esteemed; but as Christians we cannot choose to live in “Neverland”. God has destined us to be conformed to the image of Christ and His character demands that we put our childish ways behind us. It is only God’s divine nature that will allow us to overcome the folly of our human nature.
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