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Hollow Mansion

Too many times the price of “having it all”, is everything that really matters.

My eyes flick open to the dim light of the pre-dawn morning

and my head throbs with the dull ache of the night before

There is a beautiful woman lying beside me

but I find myself straining to remember her name

When she wakes, I’ll have to pretend that last night meant something to me

but for now, I couldn’t be more alone

*

As I stare at the ornate ceiling of this massive room

I can see all the cracks along its edges

 They not only speak of the sandy soil on which this estate was forged

they testify to the weak foundation of this new life that I have built

While everyone else’s eyes are naturally drawn to the beautiful gold trim

all I can see is the fractured façade

 While they all seem to notice the extravagant furnishings in each room

I find myself focusing on the vast empty space created by every high ceiling

*

These thoughts take me back to the water stained ceiling of my childhood bedroom

and I find myself wondering whatever became of that little boy

I also remember lying awake in a little trailer, many years ago

wondering how I was going to support my young bride & our new baby

Back then, paying the bills was my greatest struggle

but now that those bills are more than covered, I’m struggling with the price that was paid

*

I’d trade everything I’ve gained to erase the hurt and confusion in my children’s faces

as I pulled our family apart on the way to making my own dreams come true

I’d give it all back for the woman who loved me

when I had nothing to offer other than a desire to share her life

I’d gladly forfeit the drafty halls of this hollow mansion

for the warmth of the place that I used to call home

I’ve finally figured out that its better to have one person who loves you for who you really are

than to have ten thousand who love the person they imagine you to be

*

Unfortunately, by the time I came to understand this, it was too late

As the raging waters of my desire had already swept away any moorings for a bridge back

So as the first rays of the sun begin to creep across the windows

I swallow a couple of painkillers to prepare for the day that lies ahead

And as the beautiful stranger lying next to me stirs from her sleep

I push my face into a smile and utter, “Good morning darling”

            The danger in writing a piece like this is that people will begin to examine your marriage in an attempt to validate or invalidate your premise.  Obviously I’d hope that an examination of my marriage would only serve to reaffirm these things, but regardless of whether it does, I believe that these principles are sound.  As a man who’s experienced a marriage that was totally in-step with the cultural philosophies of the day and who is now endeavoring to have a marriage based solely on the biblical model, I can testify that the contrast is dramatic.  I believe that there are few things in life which are more telling about a person then how they relate to their spouse.

1.      Make a covenant with your eyes:  Job said that he’d made a covenant with his eyes, so as to not look upon a woman with lust and I believe that we need to do much the same.  Our culture encourages us to view every person as a sexual being and even as a potential sexual partner; but such thoughts are the door way to the rampant sexuality (e.g. teen pregnancy, marital infidelity, pornography, perversion…) that pervades our society.  As a Christian person all of our sexual desires (e.g. feelings, thoughts, actions…) need to be focused on our spouse.  As a Christian man, I need to view every woman who is not my spouse as either, a mother, a sister or a daughter; and as such never allow myself to view them in a sexual way.  In doing so, I can have a loving relationship with them and not be in danger of falling into sin. 

2.      We were meant to complete, not compete:  In the book of Genesis we see that God created Eve in response to what He saw missing in Adam and that He used something from inside of Adam to create Eve.  I believe that this is a beautiful picture of Gods intent for marriage.  He has created us for oneness in marriage; to be a help and an encouragement to each other; and so that our differences would make us a more complete team.  Unfortunately our culture has perpetuated the idea that there is a natural competition (or battle) between men and women that cannot be avoided.  As Christians we need to derive our identities and our model for relationships from the Bible and not from the culture.  There is far too much teaching about marriage and relationships within the church that is steeped in Psychology (which simply identifies the way we’ve been), rather than the Word of God (which tells us who we were made to be).

3.      Don’t try to be your spouses’ conscience:  Only God can change a heart and only the Holy Spirit can bring about true “conviction”.  Our attempts to play this role in the life of our spouse only serves to inhibit the work that God desires to do.  If you know that your spouse is in need of a change, appeal to the only One who can bring that change about, and while you’re at it, pray that He will manifest patience and gentleness in you until that change comes to pass.

4.      Remember the picture of Jesus with a towel around his waist:  In the three years that Jesus and the Apostles were together, they became a family and undoubtedly Jesus was the leader of that family.  Before He went to the cross for them, He left them (and us) a beautiful picture of what spiritual leadership looks like, when He washed their feet.  If we intend on leading our families in a way that is pleasing to God, we must also learn to assume the position of humility and to serve.  In Jesus’ day many rejected Him as the Messiah because His image did not project the grandeur of a King; many of us have rejected Jesus’ example of spiritual leadership for the same reason.

5.      Remember that you will answer to your Father-In-Law:  While I understand that God is my Father, I have found that in marriage it is helpful to remember that He is my wife’s Father as well; and that He sees and hears everything that I say, do and think.  At any given moment I need to ask myself, “I wonder what her Daddy thinks about what I’m saying or thinking or doing”.  If the presence of her Father would alter my behavior, then I’m probably some place that I shouldn’t be.  As Christians we need to recognize that one day we will stand before our spouses’ Heavenly Father and give an accounting of how we treated them.  If that thought scares you, don’t worry – it was meant to.

6.      Don’t invite the Devil to live in your spare bedroom:  While this may sound a little strange, we unconsciously do this when we resort to manipulation, intimidation and/or domination in our relationships.  All of these tactics are celebrated in our culture and each one draws on the power of deception and fear.  Regardless of our intent, reverting to these methods empowers the enemy of our souls and gives him authority in our relationships and in our homes.  When we take what we know about our spouse (or anyone else) and use it against them, we invite our enemy to be Lord over that relationship.

7.      Don’t confuse love and bodily functions:  In an era of unparalleled sexual promiscuity, the church ought to be an oasis for sexual purity; unfortunately, like so many other things, the church continues to take its cues about sexuality from the world.  In many cases the subject is never spoken of, giving Christians little counterpoint to the teaching of the world.  Sadly, what little teaching is done on the subject is generally polluted with worldly and ungodly ideas.  I have heard well meaning Christians teach a spectrum of ideas; from things like, “we should be our spouse’s fantasy” to “we need to do our marital duty”.  As we look at Gods word, we can’t find these ideas substantiated.  The Bible portrays two people becoming one in an expression of unity, commitment and love; it perpetuates the idea of sacrificing ones individuality to become a part of a greater whole and it is an act that is meant to be experienced not only in our bodies, but in our souls and spirits.  In our culture, we’ve reduced this act to a bodily function and in doing so, we’ve made it totally unfulfilling.  If your spouse is having sexual fantasies, the last thing you want to do is to re-enforce them.  They need to quit imagining and to start expressing their passion for you.  If they don’t have any passion for you, they need to ask God for help, because He has passion for you.  In the same way, “doing your marital duty” will not suffice.  Every human being (man or woman) yearns to feel significant and valuable.  Doing your workmanlike duty in the bedroom will not fulfill that need, in fact it will have quite the opposite effect.  My experience with those who fall into infidelity is not that they’re necessarily after someone who is younger, more attractive or more successful; but that they want someone who makes them feel valuable and desired.  We as Christians need to come to a new understanding of the intimacy that God has called us to and to begin to experience the fullness that He created for us.

8.      Remember when you said, “Love, Honor & Cherish”:  These three words are included in the vows of most weddings, just as the biblical definition of love is (i.e. love is patient, love is kind, love is not self-seeking…) and yet we rarely witness these things in most marriages.  It seems that in a time where everything is viewed as being relative, we’ve come to see our vows as being relative too.  In the excitement of the moment we said all those things, but now we’re not all that excited; maybe we’re even disappointed, so we feel like that excuses us.  Of course as Christians, we know that the truth is not relative and that God expects us to live up to our end of a covenant, even when others fail to live up to theirs.  While it is rare to see the kind of love described in the Bible manifest in most marriages; it is even rarer still to see spouses’ honoring and cherishing each other.  As Christians we need to seek to live these words out.  If we’re struggling, we need to ask God to give us His heart for our spouse, because He loves, honors and cherishes them.

9.      Throw away your scorecard:  The Bible says that love keeps no record of wrong doing and that the measure that we use with others is the measure that will be used with us.  We need to quit keeping score with the people that we say that we love, and begin to give our best; regardless of whether it is recognized, appreciated or reciprocated.

10.  Nobody can make you happy:  We must understand that no matter how much we love someone or how much they love us, they cannot “make us happy”.  They can be a conduit for good things in our lives, but ultimately our happiness is dependent on how we choose to view and respond to life.  God did not design us so that our well being would hinge on the imperfect love of another human being; He invested himself in us, so that we would find our identity, fulfillment and security in Him.  We cannot use our spouse as the scapegoat for our unhappiness; only our Creator can fill the place in our hearts that He created for Himself.  It is ultimately the mission of every Christian spouse to help their mate find that place in God.

True strength does not intimidate

It does not act in fear

It does not draw attention to itself

And it does not fight for its position

True strength serves without being served

It is the first to get up and the last to sit down

It only eats after everyone else is served

And it loves without regard for itself

True strength is rare and beautiful and generally goes unnoticed

 

I’m not sure why I never noticed it

when I passed you on the street

But now that you’ve gathered together

 I can see it in your collective stare

You still have something to say

but there’s no one there to listen

You have been called “The Greatest Generation”

and I don’t doubt that it may be true

You have known times of great sacrifice

and believed that the needs of the many outweighed those of the few

You fought wars in the hope of ending all war

and believed in giving more than you expected to receive

You worked hard

You stuck together

You fought for freedom

You hoped for tomorrow

You stepped into the unknown

You did all that we could ask of you

except produce heirs who truly appreciate the value of their inheritance

It is a perilous generation that spurns the wisdom of the past

and fails to recognize the founder of their feast

I come from such a generation

It is a frivolous people who hold nothing sacred

save the pursuit of their own happiness

I come from such a people

It is a vain man who believes that he can redefine truth

and control his own destiny

I have been such a man

Each time that I walk by you

I notice that a few more of you are gone

And I can’t help but feel

that we are losing far more than we understand

 

The French Connection

            People and nations are often perceived by how they respond in times of crisis.  Many times such a crisis is viewed as a “defining moment”; a time when one’s true character is revealed.  In the Western world, arguably no country is more synonymous with a lack of loyalty and fortitude in times of crisis than France.  On numerous occasions in the last century the French have failed to stand with or for their neighbors or allies in a time of crisis.  This perception has become so prevalent that it has extended beyond the nation of France, to the French people.  In many cases, dubious characteristics such as cowardice, self indulgence, infidelity and narcissism, have come to be closely identified with the French.  This was not always the case: during the mid to late 1700’s there seemed to be somewhat of a kindred spirit amongst the colonists in America and the people of France; as they both struggled to redefine their national destinies.  While their pre-revolutionary struggles were very similar, their post-revolutionary paths would become very different.

            Both the American and French Revolutions occurred late in the 1700’s and in both cases the people were revolting against what they felt was the oppressive rule of their King.  While the American Colonists didn’t necessarily seek to remove the King from the throne, they did seek to break away from his rule.  Both revolutions were bitter and costly; and in both cases the power of the oppressive monarchy was usurped.  Given these similarities it wouldn’t seem unreasonable to expect that the history that followed would share some marked parallels, but in fact these countries seemed to take almost completely divergent paths.  To understand the reasons for this, one must look into the ideologies that fueled the people who fought these revolutions.

            Many of the Colonists, who risked everything to settle in America, came because they wanted to be free from the religious persecution that they had faced in their homelands.  While there were diverse groups, who settled in various different regions of the country, they were largely unified by their decidedly “Christian” worldview.  Though these groups may not have agreed on the meaning of every biblical doctrine, few would have argued that “The Bible” was their authoritative guide.  Most of these colonists were willing to remain loyal to the king, so it cannot truly be said that it was religious persecution that fueled the revolution, but this commonality in the view of the colonists played a significant role in the republic that would later be formed.  Persecution in other forms, such as unfair taxation, proved to be the spark needed to ignite the revolution and to spur the birth of a new nation.

            The French also faced persecution from their monarchy, but their worldview was vastly different from that of the American Colonists.  Noted philosophers of the day, such as Voltaire and Rousseau were having a profound effect upon the thinking of the French people, with a philosophy that came to be known as “Enlightenment”.  This philosophy identified true freedom as being free of all constraint, including the constraint of religion, family and government.  It presumed that there was no “absolute truth” and that each person or group could define truth for themselves.  Because of the popularity of this form of thinking, the French Revolution was more of a cultural revolution, which sought not only to overthrow their oppressive government, but to redefine the mores of society.  Like the American Revolution, the ideologies of the people had a profound impact on the course of the post-war nation.

            It is not unusual during times of war that diverse groups can become united against a common enemy.  While the bond between such groups can remain strong during the battle, it rarely results in a lasting unity after that enemy is eliminated.  Such was the struggle of the French after they’d successfully over thrown the King.  Since “Enlightenment” said that every man could define truth for themselves, there was no unifying vision for the future.  Even after the King and his regime had been eliminated, the revolutionists continued to battle with each other for control, in what would come to be known as the “Reign of Terror”.  While that reign eventually ended, France has struggled since then to find an equitable and stable government.  While there was also some disagreement about the best course for the new republic amongst the American revolutionists, these disputes were handled in a much less violent manner and as the leaders of this new nation hammered out the framework of the constitution, their commonly held “Christian” beliefs became the foundation on which they all could agree.  Benjamin Franklin quoted the scripture, “Lest the Lord build the house, they labor in vain” to implore the leaders to set aside their personal agenda’s, to humble themselves in prayer and to seek God’s divine intervention as they developed the constitution.  History records that our founding fathers did just that and they went on to produce a constitution that is unprecedented throughout all of human history.  James Madison, said of these sessions, “Without the intervention of God there never would have been a constitution”.  John Quincy Adams observed that, “The highest glory of the American Revolution was this; it connected in one dissoluble bond the principles of civil government, with the principles of Christianity.  From the day of the Declaration, they were bound by the laws of God, which they all and by the laws of the Gospel, which they nearly all, acknowledge as the rules of their conduct”.  This makes the words, “We hold these truths to be self-evident” some of the most significant words in history, because as this nation was birthed there was an agreement as to the basis of truth and law and ultimately life itself.  That commonly held belief is what created the unity and that unity is what ultimately led this fledgling republic to become the most powerful country on earth.

            Interestingly, the dramatic difference in the post-revolution history of these two countries has resulted in the fact that some of Democracies greatest admirers would appear to be French.  The very symbol of liberty and freedom (i.e. the Statue of Liberty) was actually a gift from the French and was fashioned by the French artist, Frederic Bartholdi, with Gustave Effiel (the Engineer of the Effiel Tower) erecting the steel framework.  Years before this gift, French Sociologist Alexis de Tocqueville came to America to study what made democracy work.  He recorded his findings in a book called, “Democracy in America”.  After years of studying the various aspects of life in America he concluded, “Not until I went into the churches of America and heard her pulpits aflame with righteousness did I understand the secret of her genius and power”.  He went on to conclude that, “America is great because America is good.  And if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great”.  French historian Francois Guizot once asked James Russell Lowell, “How long will the American republic endure?”, to which Lowell replied, “As long as the ideas of the men who founded it continue to dominate”.

            While America has a storied history on the world stage, it has also gone through its share of internal turmoil.  After the struggles of war and depression that marked the first half of the twentieth century, the national consciousness seemed poised for a change.  Quietly at first, the post-war culture began to change in the early 1950’s and by the 1960’s a full scale cultural revolution was underway.  Like the French Revolution, this movement hasn’t been so much about reforming our way of government, as it has been about redefining the standards within our culture.  It has seemingly challenged every thread in the fabric of our society, including the most basic blocks of human relationship.  Another common trait that this revolution shares with its French counterpart is the secular humanist philosophy behind it.  Though this philosophy goes by many titles (e.g. enlightenment, secular humanism, post modernism…), they all hinge on the precept that the truth is relative (i.e. there is no such thing as absolute truth); which means that each individual has the ability to define truth for themselves.  While this way of thinking would seem to be very liberating on an individual basis, it is highly destructive to the concept of national unity.  John Adams observed that, “We have no government armed with the power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion”.  If we were to attempt to incorporate this philosophy into our constitution, we’d need to say something like, “we don’t hold any truth to be self-evident”.  While that may seem to be extreme, I believe that within this philosophical framework, it would be accurate.  This philosophy has subtly invaded our way of thinking to the point that polls (taken over the last twenty years) indicate that between two thirds and three quarters of Americans now believe that the truth is relative (e.g. what’s truth to you, may not necessarily be truth to me).  If these numbers are accurate, it is clear that many Americans have failed to understand the implications of this ideology. 

The concept of a law is that a society agrees to set a limit, boundary or constraint on what is acceptable within that society.  The agreement on where that limit should be set hinges on some common standard by which to measure acceptable behavior.  For our founding fathers, the Bible was used as that standard.  While not everyone in this country was Christian at that time, the principles of the Bible were accepted as the basis for law.  With that established standard, the U.S. Constitution was forged and has proven to be the model document for enduring freedom.  As our national philosophy has shifted, we have begun to challenge our constitution; often upon the basis that it limits an individuals personal liberty (i.e. constrains my personal ability to define what is truth for myself).  When such a challenge comes, one must go back to the foundational truth that formed the basis for the law in order to make a judgment; but in the absence of an “absolute truth” there is no way to refute the claim.  It is the nature of a law to limit a persons individual freedom and without an agreement on what is the basis of truth, every law is susceptible to be struck down in the same manner.  Little by little our constitution is being dismantled because it is viewed as being too limiting of individual freedom and quietly the unified vision of our country is disappearing.  If our goal is to elevate individual freedom to the point that every man can define truth for themselves, than there is no standard that could ever be enforced, which by definition would create a state of lawlessness.  If the goal is simply to eliminate the Bible as the standard for behavior, than what standard is to be used in its place.  As in the French revolution, this cultural philosophy always seems to find agreement in what it doesn’t want, but is unable to fuel any unified vision for the future.  Dismantling our constitution in this manner is similar to dismantling the house you live in before you begin construction on a new one.

            The sad irony of America’s ongoing Cultural Revolution is that we already have the model for what this ideology (i.e. secular humanism…)  will reap in our society.  It is doubtful that any American would be willing to trade France for their post-revolution history or for their current national identity; yet isn’t that what we’re doing with our future as we intentionally abandon the principles which made this country great, in favor of the philosophy that made France what it is today?

Fruit Flavored

As a father, I care about what my children eat and as such, I’ve become a lot more attuned to what’s written on the packaging of the food I buy for them. One of the patterns that I’ve noticed is some of the interesting claims associated with items that are fruit flavored.  One box proclaims in bold letters, “Real Fruit Flavors”, while a check of the ingredients reveals that it contains no real fruit.  This of course begs the question, “Where does the ‘Real Fruit Flavor’ come from, and what exactly qualifies it as ‘Real’?”

 

Another good one is the drink that says “Contains No Pulp”, when the ingredients list clearly shows that there is no actual fruit juice used to make the drink. These examples sort of make me grateful for the factual label that boasts “Made With 10% Real Fruit Juice”; but it also makes me wonder when only 10% of the real thing became something worth bragging about.  As I pondered these and other allusions to “real fruit”, I sensed the Lord begin to speak to me about the church that bears His name.

 

Indeed the scriptures are full of references to fruit and fruitfulness, and undoubtedly God means for it to be a key component of every believer’s walk. Jesus went so far as to tell us that He is the vine and we are the branches, and that any branch which does not produce fruit will eventually be cut off and thrown into the fire.  Not only does this tell us that producing fruit is not optional, it also let’s us know that we don’t get to decide on the variety of fruit our lives will produce.  After all, the branches don’t dictate to the tree what kind of fruit they bear.

 

I believe this is significant, because God isn’t interested in simply producing any fruit; He’s after a specific kind of fruit, which He describes in His word. John the Baptist challenged the Pharisee’s, who undoubtedly viewed themselves as being very fruitful, to produce the fruit of their supposed repentance.  Paul defined for the Galatians the fruit of the Holy Spirit, which in essence is Christ’s character, revealed in His people.  In today’s church there seems to be much that is considered fruitful, even though it doesn’t seem to fall anywhere near these orchards.

 

Years ago, I was in one of those jumping & shouting church services, which we Charismatic’s, and our Pentecostal brothers, seem to enjoy so much. It was loud, and there seemed to be a lot going on, when the man on the platform made the declaration that “Lives are being changed!”  And as much as I hoped that was true, I sensed a check in my spirit; so I inquired, “What do you see Lord?”  I immediately sensed the response, “Christmas Trees”.

 

After wrestling with what that might mean for a few minutes, I sensed the words, “lots of gifts, no fruit”. As I prayed throughout the rest of that service, I felt like the Lord said that we often mistake motion for movement (i.e. progress) and that we often settle for change (generally of our mood or circumstance) instead of seeking transformation.  Only genuine transformation has the potential to produce real fruit, and only real fruit contains the seeds of reproduction.

 

As I meditated further on this lively scene, the Lord gave me a vision of a chicken running around without its head and He said that even though the chicken still gives the appearance of being full of life, it was truly dead the second it became detached from its head.

 

Sometime later, a sister in the Lord gave me some interesting information on “hybrid” seeds, which I believe is pertinent to this discussion. A hybrid seed is one that is produced by artificially cross-pollinating plants and they were developed to improve the characteristics of the resulting plants (e.g. better yield, greater uniformity, improved color…).  While in some ways this has been very successful, in other ways it has been counter productive.  As opposed to natural seeds, hybrids tend to require a great deal of fertilizer, water, herbicides and pesticides to achieve the desired outcome; and more importantly most cannot be relied on to reproduce viable seed for a second generation of plants.  That means that the farmer must buy new seed every year.

 

It seems that the western church’s efforts to make itself relevant to the culture have in many ways compromised the gospel message, and I wonder if the seed we’re trying to sow hasn’t become something of a hybrid; one that is high maintenance and unable to reproduce itself.

 

Jesus told His followers that the way people would be able to identify them was by the way that they loved each other, which is essentially a manifestation of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. I doubt that many would claim that the church in America is living anywhere near that standard.  He later told them that the way they could differentiate between real and false prophets would be by their fruit; yet in today’s church, giftedness & personality seem to have become a viable substitute for a sincere expression of Christ’s character.

 

While there is still much being done in the name of Christ, Jesus warned that not everything done in His name would be found acceptable. He taught that it is only the fruit that is bore out of a direct connection to Him that really matters.  We who proclaim the name of the Lord Jesus can tell the world that we have been grafted to the tree of life, but until they see some worthwhile fruit in our lives, our message will likely remain an abstract to them.  Like a grape flavored drink, it may remind them of grapes, but there is nothing of the grape contained within it.

 

1.      Revenge is sweet – In truth, fantasies of revenge tend to be far sweeter than the realization of it.  I’ve noticed that those who feel as though they have been so wronged that revenge is justified, never quite reach the place of feeling that things are truly even in the end.  Seeking revenge simply keeps the pain of a given situation close to the surface and ultimately compounds the damage for everyone involved.  

2.      New and improved – This concept has become so engrained in Western culture that we often assume that something is an upgrade simply because it is new.  While we undoubtedly live in a time of unprecedented advances in technology, I would suggest that qualities like character, craftsmanship and durability have suffered tremendously.

3.      Mr. or Mrs. Right – While there are undeniably people who seem destined for each other, the myth of finding Mr or Mrs Right is that you can then have a relationship that doesn’t take any real effort.  Regardless of how compatible two people may be, a healthy relationship always involves give and take.  Just as in a garden, you must start with good seed, weeds occasionally have to be pulled, infestations need to be treated and sometimes things need to be watered by hand.

4.      Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me – Anyone, who has been wounded by words that pierced their soul, can attest to the fact that the healing of a broken bone is much less painful and takes significantly less time.

5.      There’s no harm in looking – The eyes are the windows of the soul and as humans we have a tendency to gravitate toward whatever we fix them on.  What we see stirs our mind, while those thoughts evoke emotions; and ultimately those feelings press us to respond.  Every great act of treason begins with just a look.

6.      The more the merrier – While this saying has the potential to be true, I have found that more often than not, it isn’t.  In my own lifetime I have noticed that the company of a few close friends beats being in a crowd; that acquiring more stuff hasn’t made life any better and that starving children in Third World countries seem to smile more than the average kid in middle-class America.

7.      Maintenance and/or Scrub free – Though there seems to be a growing number of products making such claims (i.e. to be scrub free or maintenance free), I’ve yet to find one that truly lives up to either.  This kind of marketing appeals to our desire to get good results without making any real effort, but it tends to fly in the face of reality.

8.      Nice guys finish last – To be sure, nice guys are often under-appreciated and taken advantage of; but time has a way of balancing the scales and in the end, nice guys rarely finish at the back of the pack.  Principles such as “you reap what you sow” or “what goes around comes around” tend to prevent this saying from ringing true.

9.      Men want sex, while women want relationship – While there is an ounce of truth behind this idea, its implications are more misleading than helpful.  The notion that men and women want something totally different often serves as justification for the mythological war, known as “The Battle of the Sexes”.  The truth is that both men and women really want the same thing, which is to feel significant and valued.  The fact that men are generally more prone to physical expression, while women are generally more prone to emotional expression, doesn’t diminish this common goal.  Despite the stereotypes, men are genuinely relational beings, just as women are undoubtedly sexual beings.  The struggle for many is that our contemporary ideas about sex and relationships aren’t really getting us to the place of feeling valued or significant. 

10.  Beauty is only skin deep – Something that is pleasing to the eye, but rotten at its core, is simply attractive and doesn’t really qualify as “beautiful”.  True beauty can only be defined by what is at the heart of a thing. 

A good friend asked me what I thought the election results (i.e. 2008 Presidential) meant – I attached my response below.

I think your question is the same one that most of us have and there are probably a thousand answers I could give. Obviously the long term impact won’t be understood for a great while. I will say that I don’t think that we’ve gotten a very clear picture of who Barrack Obama really is and so it is difficult to project what his administration may look like. Though he promised all types of “change”, the president doesn’t really have the power to affect significant changes without the support of the congress, and though the Democrat’s have the clear majority, I don’t think that it is a given that they will necessarily support everything that Mr. Obama proposes. While the party didn’t want to break ranks during the election season, the primary’s (between Obama & Clinton) seemed to indicate that not everyone in the party was in agreement about the necessary direction, so it may not be as drastic as many fear. I do think that it is safe to assume that we will see advances in both the homosexual and pro-abortion agendas.

I do think that the two positive things that I can point to from this election are that we elected a man of color as our president and that a lot more people participated in the process. I do believe that breaking the color barrier is worthy of celebration; I think that many of us wanted to believe that we’d progressed in the area of racism, but until a barrier actually comes down, it’s hard to be sure. While I don’t have any illusions about the fact that racism still exists, I feel like this is a clear step of progress. I’ve also been appalled in the past by how many people didn’t vote, so I believe that seeing a good turnout is encouraging.

For me, the most troubling aspect of this election is the hearts of the American people and most especially those who count themselves as “Christians”. In a broad sense I’m discouraged by how little integrity there seems to be in our political process and how little people really seem to be after the truth. For example, the economy was cast as the primary issue in this election and both candidates vowed to fix the economy if they were elected; yet these men, the media and economists everywhere know fully well that the government (including the president) does not have direct control over the economy. To me it is fundamentally dishonest to pretend that it is otherwise. I think that the media has become particularly biased in their reporting of events, to the point of deception at times. I think that this is a very dangerous trend and could eventually become a significant threat to the freedom of the American people. I feel like the level of hostility and negativity associated with this election was outrageous and unnecessary. For a society that touts it’s “tolerance” of diversity, there seemed to be very little tolerance for diverse viewpoints. It seems that the last three elections have had this polarizing effect on the country as a whole. While I can chalk a lot of that up to human nature, I’m absolutely baffled by the group of people who call themselves “Christians” (a.k.a. Evangelicals, Catholics, Born-Again…). Increasingly, the word “Christian” is becoming absolutely meaningless in terms of understanding the worldview of the people who use it as a way of describing themselves. I can’t help but think that the rampant moral decay of our society can be directly linked to the double-mindedness of those who are presumably meant to be salt and light to the world. I have long doubted the concept of the “moral majority” (i.e. that there is some silent group of highly ethical people who comprise the majority of the population) and I believe that the results of this election present the clearest evidence that even if such a group ever did exist, that it is no longer the case.

The good news is that we’re exactly where God always knew that we would be and He stands ready to guide us through the coming days if we’ll “follow” Him. I believe that the overall lack of resistance has made the church in America weak and that though it won’t necessarily be pleasant; the increased resistance will make us stronger (& smaller). There is nothing in the scripture that pushes us toward fixing the government or trying to convince the society to think differently; in fact the biblical recipe is that we’d simply turn from our sin and cry out to God. I do think that it is important to recognize that we are living in a culture that is becoming openly hostile toward Biblical Christianity and that seems to want to take a proactive role in the indoctrination of our children. If we’re not living this stuff out in our homes, our marriages, in our relationships and friendships, our children will have no reason to believe it. Ultimately, we are not Christians by virtue of the fact that we were born in America, or that we were raised in Christian homes, or because we’re moral people or because we go to church or even by the fact that we believe the story of what Jesus did. We are Christians by virtue of the fact that we’ve taken up our cross and are following Him. If He is for us, who can be against us? God bless.

Last week saw the passing of yet another cultural icon in America, former news anchorman Walter Cronkite.  While that may not register as high on the pop culture Richter scale as some other recent deaths, I can’t help but feel that, at least in a symbolic way, it may have been even more significant.  There was a time, in the now distant past, when most of America looked to Walter Cronkite for their daily news; earning him the title of “The Most Trusted Man in America”.  That almost sounds funny to our post-millennial sensibilities; after all, why should we need to trust the guy who’s reading the teleprompter (or in Walter’s heyday, the news copy).  But the world was a very different place in the era that Cronkite established his legacy; America was not the undisputed world power that it is today; and the general public was far more aware of the subversive ideologies (e.g. communism) that were competing for world domination.  In that day, one need only look to what was then the “Soviet Union” to see a news media that only reported the things that supported their political agenda and that was used as a tool to control the people.  Thus it was important for American’s to know that they were receiving a clear and unbiased reporting of the details surrounding any particular event.  To succeed in such an era it was essential that a journalist convey some sense of neutrality in their reporting and this was a key to Cronkite’s appeal.  It wasn’t so much who he was as a human being, after all we didn’t really know the man; it was more what he represented to a troubled American psyche.  It’s not so much that he told us the truth; it’s more that we believed he was telling us the truth.  He may not have really been as wise and unflappable as he seemed, but we were convinced that he was and collectively we found that reassuring.

Of course, history has moved on; the cold-war ended, America rose to the top of the world food chain and we’ve changed the way we think these days.  People of my generation grew up with the perception that we are the most powerful country in the world and that there is very little that poses a legitimate threat to our way of life.  We’ve become far less concerned about the possibility of a subversive ideology infiltrating our culture and much more concerned about our right to have a subversive ideology if we want one.  Our news media has definitely changed with the times as well.  Gone is the need to appear to be neutral or even unbiased.  We now have whole networks devoted to reporting the news with their own particular slant and we like to watch the one’s that slant in the same direction that we do.  It may not be the truth, but somehow we find it reassuring to hear things that support our particular point of view.  As I ponder these changes, I wonder at whether Walter Cronkite would have had much of a career in today’s media and I find myself even more sorry to see him go.

Isabelle

As I stood in the cold morning rain, I stared at the charred remains of what had, only hours before, been the home of a precious young family.  My heart broke at the news that their three year old daughter hadn’t made it and there was no way to suppress tears, as friends and neighbors placed little stuffed animals and flowers on the lawn.  I thought of my own children and remembered each of them at three years of age.  I could barely contain the thought of losing any one of them.  They say that it is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all; and while I believe that is true, I wondered if I could be grateful with only three years of loving a child.  My arms ached at the thought of never being able to hold them again.  I can’t imagine anything more painful than the loss of a child and I couldn’t conjure any idea of what might bring relief or even comfort to this family.  As I often do when things are bigger than I can understand, I found myself praying that God would somehow bring the comfort that none of us could hope to offer them. 

Sadly, some who’d come to view the devastation began to murmur; they seemed to want to talk about what should have been or what might have been; and I found myself deeply grieved by this.   I guess I couldn’t understand how anyone who wasn’t there could presume to know.  Didn’t they think that everyone involved did what they knew to do?  Even if everything wasn’t handled perfectly, how does such a dialogue help this hurting family go on?  I know that if it were me, I’d be second guessing myself on everything I did and didn’t do.  But in the final analysis, such thoughts only serve as a torment.  I caught myself wondering why people seem to need to speak, when they really have no answers.  I suppose that it is really that we are trying to convince ourselves that something like this would never happen to us; that we are somehow more sensible or more heroic than those who have fallen victim to such a thing.  Indeed, it is a terrifying thought that life could somehow conspire to take what is most precious to us and to turn our world upside down in an instant.  But the reality is that such things do happen everyday and that they happen to people (like us) who never saw them coming.  None of us is promised tomorrow and I find myself praying that this knowledge would somehow change the way I live today.

Yesterday, I heard that her name was Isabelle and somehow that made it more personal for me.  It seems that little Isabelle Jade was like a shooting star; that her light burned brightly as she passed across the horizon of this world, but that she disappeared into the heavens before any of us were ready.  As much as we may grieve at the thought of what she never got a chance to experience in this life, we can also be grateful for that same thing.  She lived a life full of loving arms and smiling faces; and now she will never have to face the many pains, disappointments and hardships that are an integral part of every journey through this world.  Whatever love she experienced on this earth pales in comparison to the love she’s experiencing today, as she has returned to the arms of “Perfect Love”.  Our grief is not so much for little Isabelle, but for all those she left behind.  I pray that when the season of grieving is over, the joyful memories of the years spent with Isabelle would be enough to eclipse the painful thoughts of what might have been.