In the gospels Jesus warned that “unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven (Matt.18:3).” Then, in the epistles, Paul also warns against childish ways of acting (1Cor.13:11) and thinking (1Cor.14:20). In light of these admonishments, it seems vital that we should learn and discern the difference between being childlike and being childish.
Paul appears to address some of these childish patterns when he wrote to the Galatians, calling out things like discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissentions, factions… (Gal.5:19-20), ultimately concluding that those who live like this would not inherit the Kingdom of God. And from his description of God’s love to the Corinthians (1Cor.13:4-7), things like being impatient, unforgiving, competitive, easily offended, and quick tempered could also be included.
While all of these traits are commonplace within the typical human experience, God is calling His children to something higher. Jesus said that anyone who was not willing to take up their cross and follow Him was unworthy of Him (Matt.10:38). While Paul pointed out the need to “crucify the flesh” (Gal.5:24), and Peter spoke of partaking of the divine nature (2Pet.1:4). This is all a part of the transformation that God intends to work in those who follow Him.
More important than simply misbehaving is the issue of trusting the Father and accepting what we cannot hope to fully comprehend. The scripture contains numerous passages which reference the limitations of our understanding. We know in part and prophesy in part (1Cor.13:9). We see as through a glass dimly (1Cor.13:12). God’s ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). The wisdom of man is foolishness to God (1Cor.1:25). He can do exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ask for or imagine (Eph.3:20). If we must have foreknowledge and certainty in order to believe, we are sure to be disheartened. In order to be effective, our faith must be “childlike”.
In many ways, what God offered mankind in the garden was the chance to be His children. Had Adam and Eve chosen to follow His direction, they could have lived out their days naked, unashamed, unburdened, and completely unaware of sickness, evil and death. They would have simply existed within the bubble of the Father’s love and protection. But something within their nature found the offer of autonomy (i.e. self-rule) to be too good to pass up.
I see this demonstrated clearly in my young granddaughter, who lives with us. She is a precious, beautiful child, who is bold, energetic, and full of curiosity. Not surprisingly, she wasn’t even ten months old when she started walking, and containing her became a daily challenge.
When the playpen proved to be too restrictive for this 20 lb. force of nature, we fenced in our living room with plastic fencing in order to keep her from the fireplace, the stereo cabinet, bookshelves, electrical outlets… and we constructed a gate, so that us older folks didn’t have to hurdle our way in to, and out of, the living room.
Within this room sized play yard, we placed all manner of soft, colorful, musical, and educational things for her to engage with. Above all else it was intended to be a safe space for her to learn and grow; but from its inception she made it her mission to escape from it.
In this quest, she’s demonstrated amazing resourcefulness, as she’s tried to pull the fence up to crawl underneath it; to slide herself between the seams in the panels, and to push the fence (or gate) down. When those efforts failed, she’s pushed her rocking chair, or her wheeled horse to the fence, and tried to use them to climb over it.
Often times, she’d stand at the gate, and shake it by its bars. Every time the gate would open, she would stop what she was doing and run toward it. Every time the gate would close, she’d let out a yelp of protest. Indeed, the mere existence of this fence seems to be an affront to her soul. Even without any conscious understanding of it, she instinctively pushed against the concept of limitations or boundaries.
Anyone who’s raised a child, or spent any amount of time with a toddler can probably attest to the fact that these behaviors are not particularly unusual for children at that stage, and I feel sure that to some degree they are a reflection of our unvarnished human nature. Over time, we will likely train this little girl to behave differently, but these patterns provide some insight into how humans respond in their natural state.
As I have prayed for this little one, the Lord has impressed upon me that this is how it is with His children as well. Like us, He tried to setup a safe and ideal situation for them, but they chose to go their own way. He then tried to create healthy boundaries to keep them safe, but they perceive that He is trying to keep them from the “good stuff”, and rebel against them. Indeed, the very idea that He would set limitations causes many to doubt His goodness.
Because we are created in God’s image, children come with an undefiled capacity to love and trust, but they also possess a natural penchant toward self-centeredness and impatience. Sorting through these conflicting traits is part of stepping into our identities as Children of God.
There is a way that naturally seems right to a man, but it ultimately leads to death (Pro.14:12), and apart from God we can do nothing (John 15:5). Given mankind’s aforementioned love of independence, the struggle to humble ourselves and surrender our mind, will, and emotions to the Lord’s purposes is a moment by moment battle.
Jesus said, that “anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it (Mark 10:15, Luke 19:17)”. And, He openly thanked the Father for concealing these things from the wise & learned, choosing instead to reveal them to the “little children” (Matt.11:25, Luke 10:21). This means that we can neither earn or learn our way into the kingdom.
Scripture tells us that God resists the proud (James 4:6), and Jesus’ ministry clearly reflects this. We don’t see Him publicly shaming prostitutes and thieves for their sin, but we do see Him openly confronting the prideful religious leaders, who’d counted themselves as righteous. We don’t see Him flipping tables in the marketplace because of people’s iniquity, but we do see Him flipping tables in the temple because of their misrepresentation of the Father’s heart (Matt.21-12). Indeed, judgement begins in the house of God (1 Pet.4:17).
The Kingdom of God is not a location, it is a supernatural state of living in submission to His Lordship. Jesus modeled this pattern for us during His time on the earth, as He refused to act apart from His Father’s will. Because of this He could truthfully claim, “if you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father (John 14:7)”.
When I was a child, I used to sit in the back seat of our family car, staring at the passing scenery, and wondering at the world. I was never burdened by thoughts of where we might be going, or what route we would take to get there, because my father was driving, and I had utter confidence in his judgement, and ability to get us there safely. I would submit that this is a fair representation of the journey the Lord intends for us.
He offers us a peace that surpasses understanding, joy unspeakable, unshakable hope, and profound rest. I would submit that this is a reflection of what He initially offered mankind in the garden, and it is the fruit of genuinely abiding in the vine, and within the shelter of His sovereign grace. But like Adam, He gives us the option to live as His children, or to live by our own sense of what is right.
“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,[g] Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory (Rom.8:14-17).”
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Finding God’s Favor
Posted in Commentaries, Tributes, tagged aggressiveness, beloved, childlike, children, compassion, cynicism, faith, frolicking, grandchildren, Heart, innocence, intellect, intelligence, nurture, nurturing, partner, sensitivity, sibling, smart, transformation, vulnerabilities, wife, wisdom on May 26, 2025| 1 Comment »
Like most kids who grew up in the 1960’s and 70’s, my parents had home movies they’d occasionally pull out and show on a big projector screen. One that particularly sticks out in my mind is of my brothers and I playing on the street in front of my grandmother’s house in Brooklyn. It was a cold, dreary looking day, and we were all in our winter coats, but we were running around with the sort of abandon that only young children seem to possess.
I believe that I was about 5 yrs old in the film, which would make my brothers 6 yrs and 7 yrs old. In particular it was my brother Tom (the oldest sibling) who stood out. His big eyes and childlike manner in these movies were such a sharp contrast to the serious and pragmatic fellow he would eventually become. These old reels were some of the only evidence that he’d not really started out that way.
Life has a way of pushing back against innocence and cultivating cynicism. And for little boys, wide eyed compassion and sensitivity aren’t generally a sustainable course. Very quickly it becomes clear that having such emotions or at least allowing folks to know that you have them, is a precarious path to take. Early on, it becomes a matter of survival to learn how to hide your vulnerabilities and to always come from a position of strength. For many young men that manifests in a form of aggressiveness that is generally accepted for young males. For my brother Tom, it manifested in the form of intellect.
My brother had a brilliant mind and was usually one of the smartest guys in the room. He also had the ability to express himself, which made his intelligence harder to ignore. Because my father was in the Air Force, we changed schools constantly, but wherever we’d go my brother would quickly be viewed as the smartest kid in the class. As the sensitive nurturing elements of his personality receded into dormancy, the power of his mind emerged. He wasn’t just smart, he was a born leader, and soon that was all you could see.
As a younger brother, who had no desire to be led by someone I thought of as a peer, I just viewed him as overbearing and bossy. By the time we got to high school, his identity as the smart kid was already set in stone, and he further solidified it by dating the smartest girl in school. In those days, if you had asked anyone who knew my brother to describe him with three adjectives, his intelligence would have been referenced with the first word.
Forty-five years later, as I sat through the various memorial services celebrating my brother’s (too short) life, I suddenly recalled those scenes of us frolicking on the street as kids, and I realized that not one person had made a singular reference to his intelligence. Indeed, there was barely any mention of the impressive work he had done at Ball Aerospace (e.g., the Hubble Telescope, the Mars Rover), or any of his other accomplishments.
As the montage of pictures scrolled across the screen, they were mostly scenes of Tom with his grandchildren, or his god children, or dear friends, or with his beloved wife. In many of them he was dressed funny and clearly goofing around with that same sort of abandon that we’d had as children.
When people eulogized him, it was his warmth, compassion, faith, and wisdom they spoke of. And I found myself wondering how this transformation had occurred. What was it that allowed my brother’s true heart to re-emerge over all these years.
The short and simple answer is that the God who gave Him that heart, also worked throughout his life to preserve it. But at the center of God’s plan was Tom’s beloved wife Fawn.
By the time they’d met in high school, Tom had developed a pretty sharp edge to his personality, yet around her, he was like Jello. He was crazy about her from day one, and she was not the type of person to use that as leverage against him. If there were ever two people who seemed destined for each other, it was these two, and absolutely no one was surprised that they married and spent a lifetime together.
Looking back, I realize that because Fawn loved my brother for who he was, she made it safe for the nurturing, loving, playful part of his heart to re-emerge. Because she routinely engaged that part of his being, it regained strength and eventually became the hallmark of his legacy. Though it sounds cliche, she brought out the best in him. And to his credit, I believe that he did that for her as well.
As I pondered all this, I couldn’t help but think that this is exactly what God had in mind for marriage. That these unions were meant to amount to more than just the sum of the parts. That both partners would help each other become the people they were created to be.
If Tom had chosen to spend his life with someone who only related to him on an intellectual level, he may well have become a stoic recluse. Thankfully, he found a loving soul, who was full of spirit, and every bit his intellectual equal. She loved his heart and nurtured it throughout their years together.
In my brother’s final days, the room was filled with people who loved him and whose lives had been touched by his. And right by his side was his beloved partner Fawn. Though we could wish for more days, it would be hard to imagine a better way to finish the race.
He who finds a wife of worth, receives the favor of the Lord (Prov.18:22)
A wife of noble character is worth far more than rubies (Prov.31:10)
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